I was printing this post out for a very dear friend of mine who encourages me in my writing, and I realized I wanted to clarify a few things and share a bit of background on the subject of me and cussing.
I attended a one-room country school for first grade, and if I remember correctly, there were only five or six kids total, all of them older than me. The school closed, and I attended "town school" from 2nd grade on. It was on the playground of the public school that I first heard the word, "shit," and I tried it out in all its glory as our mom drove us home from school that day.
Mom replied, "Pen, we don't say that word." And that was all it took for me to stop.
I didn't hear much cussing from my dad when he was around us. Maybe my brothers heard it when out working with him, but he didn't make it a standard practice from what I recall. My brother, Steve, said he learned how to swear from the custom combiners that helped harvest our crops. Ha! Some of my other brothers closer to me in age--now they could let the 4 Letters fly with gusto, especially when puberty hit! Ha!
My family wasn't prudish: I had a great uncle who was a dear fishing friend of my dad's, and the man told all kinds of naughty jokes. I've had a lot of laughter in my life--and that truly has probably been my most saving grace of all.
With all that said, swearing is something I've kept a fairly tight lid on most of my life, and it's a trait shared by many of us older Shaumbra. Ascended master, Adamus St-Germain has seemingly made it his mission to encourage us to get into that truly authentic being that we are, and to realize that sometimes an F-bomb is the best communication out there for specific moments and uses. And I've realized lightning hasn't struck me down for ever using one....
I don't cuss all the time because when swear words are in every utterance of a person's mouth I get desensitized to them. They lose their oomph. I quit listening....and....
There are times when I need that bit of shock and awe of a well-placed "F-bomb" to make my point clear--to take that stand within myself that leaves no room for negotiation or compromise.
"Tell those victim aspects to shut the fuck up!"
In the 2023 February Shoud, Sovereign ascended master, Adamus Saint-Germain (crimsoncircle.com) made that recommendation to a fellow Shaumbra who was allowing an aspect that insisted she was an alcoholic to run her life.
We've all created aspects in this lifetime and in other lifetime expressions of our souls. Some of them were created out of traumatic circumstances: death by torture, actions that caused remorse, unresolved guilt and shame, intense anger....Some leave energetic imprints in the form of physical or emotional or mental wounds and scarring. I've recognized these as the Victim voice within that constantly reminds me that someone or something outside of me is causing me to endure something I don't like or want, but cannot change or manipulate or control (this is the Sexual Energy Virus).
I've been playing the role of wife in a marriage, and it's given me plenty of opportunities to play with being the victim of my husband's ideas and actions. I've had 33 years of practice, plus a few more when we were just dating. With awakening, I have struggled long and hard with trying to get past feeling like a victim--this blog is littered with those stories--but wrangling with them only makes them stronger and more steadfast in my reality.
I have managed to go beyond many of them by allowing my perspective to shift and somehow choosing to finally just let them go and get on with living my life. I clearly remember doing that when after episode after episode of watching in powerless fear as my husband rode off on his motorcycle, I suddenly realized I'd been insisting on recreating the trauma, and its ensuing emotions, of losing my first boyfriend in a motorcycle accident all over again. I shook my head at myself, grinned, and let it go. It was such a relief! And here it was, just that simple, easy....
"Just let it go....and get on with living your life...."
Oh, those whiny frickin' voices within that like to keep insisting that I'm being wronged or taken for granted....I realized I still had a few....
Adamus' little tool really worked for me. I found myself telling those tantrum-throwing, incessantly whispering little shits to "Shut the Fuck Up!" And I did it a few good times whenever I found myself feeling like a powerless victim. I left no more room for them to get a word in edgewise. I stood firm within myself as I belted it out, and then went on as though they never existed....and so they were gone....I no longer suffer the fools. I tell them all to "Shut the Fuck up!"....I'm done playing that game.
As everyone reading this can see--I have quite the amusing conversations with myself.
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