Seeds of Fear: What Kind of Harvest Do I Want to Reap?

This is a wild and crazy ride at this stage of the game in our world. Everything is changing, and it's changing quantumly--coming from all different directions, within and without. We're used to a linear world where you have a cause and its effect, and it happens in a sequential order. 

But that's old-school, and nothing works that way anymore. This is more about what consciousness I'm radiating out that my own field of potential energies then takes form to match. My old world is literally coming apart at the seams. It's exciting, frightening, frustrating, and surprising at times. It's both boring and dramatic, and it's sometimes traumatic for us because so many humans are crossing over to the other side of the Veil/River instead of staying here with us. 

Many are finding it too difficult and challenging--this shift from all we've ever known into something we have never experienced before. A world so brand new in concept that we can't even really anticipate what it will be like.

Yeah--change and the unknown potentials it holds can be scary and daunting.

So, I have to ask the question: 

Why would anyone want to scare the bejesus out of everyone when we're already walking on pins and needles? What's the reward in this?

There are so many conspiracy theories flying around and they are being promoted and perpetuated pretty much by egos wanting to be in the know or feel like they're smarter than someone else, and by those who feed off the energies of drama and trauma. And pretty much I can feel it being done out of sheer boredom with one's life in general. 

I hear all kinds of people wanting the old systems to collapse. I watch eyes gleam with the idea of doom and gloom, but while they get stoked about world calamity, I'm hearing few of them converse about possible resolutions and solutions to the perceived problems that might make the transition easier and more graceful without fewer people or our planet and it's myriad of lifeforms getting harmed in the process.

I've played in the conspiracy game--and it's a dark hole that just sucks you in and keeps you in terror and depression. At least, that's what it did to me. Why be here if we believe we're all destined for hell in a handbasket anyway?

Back in my old fight the conspirators days, I watched terrified people become as scary as those they felt threatened by--myself included.

All this talk of evil and Satan and the Devil being loose in the world? If I wanted to unleash evil into the world all I'd have to do is scare the crap out of some human who doesn't know who they really are (the creator and perceiver of their own realities). Tell them they are unworthy sinners. Get them feeling backed into a corner with no hope of a way out except by resisting and fighting--and, Wha-la!--I've got evil like you wouldn't believe.

Do I want to be a part of the solution, or do I want to expand the problem? How much drama and trauma do I want? How bored am I?

It's not an entity named Satan nor are there Devil-possessed people out there committing those inhumane, atrociously horrific acts. Unconscious, unaware, unawakened humans are the ones who commit the evil atrocities...and...they are the ones who spread the seeds of fear through conspiracy theories because--wait for it--they are scared shitless themselves! And probably bored, too.

Yes, the old systems of this world are obsolete, imbalanced and don't serve our planet or humanity in its expanded consciousness. And....yes, I put them in place and participated in them in the past....and I choose to allow them to be released from manifestation, their energies neutralized so they can gracefully shift into a new form that better serves me and my ascended world.

I choose to plant the seeds of freedom and self-sovereignty for all....

I choose to dwell in hope and graceful resolution....

I choose to be open to and cultivate win-win solutions.... 

I choose to dwell in anticipation of a new world expression in which I can joyfully participate....

So....what do you choose, my fellow sovereign creators?

P.S. "Remember, Pen, there is no 'they'--these are All Aspects of my own soul coming in for integration. These are all my creations--don't muck about with them if you truly desire to go beyond all the old stuff...."

It always helps anchor these things more firmly in my reality by writing them all out here as if I'm talking it out with someone other than myself. By doing this I can more clearly view the thoughts and feelings and concepts looping through my mind--actually through my entire body of consciousness. Otherwise, I'm constantly wrangling with these things within myself and it perpetuates a feeling of being stuck.

I'm reminded once again to just take a few good deep breaths and to drop any armor or any idea that I need to convince anyone else of anything. To just take a breath and open up....

True Freedom: Can I Handle It?

 Do I want the responsibility of truly being free?

A late friend of my dad's was a guest of one of the princes of Saudi Arabia back in the mid-to-late-seventies. At that time my parents considered moving us there while my dad helped the Saudis establish their own farms using irrigation systems, but after researching the idea my dad and his partner discovered that financially it was too costly--that they could import less expensively than produce their own. Farming is very dependent upon the weather--my family watched many a glorious crop disappear in the blink of an eye, whether it was hail or grasshoppers, or army worms, rust or some other disease or weed; or no crop at all due to drought. 

Anyway, I remember this friend of dad's telling me that the prince had offered his people the chance of freedom beyond the class system that was traditionally in place....and they didn't want it....

In 2004 I discovered a group called Crimson Circle. I didn't tell a lot of my friends about it because it was channeling, and frankly, most people weren't open to that, especially at that time. Geoffrey Hoppe and his wife, Linda Benyo, first channeled Tobias--an ascended master from long before the times of Yeshua (Jesus). I discovered some things about myself when my dad died back in 2003, and these channels resonated with that experience and those realizations. 

No religious organizations or academic institutions were addressing these types of things or the profound questions I had. But these people constantly reiterated to me to go within to discover my true self. To trust myself to have all my answers, and take up my mantle of self-sovereignty and freedom. To take full responsibility for the creatorship of my own realities and how I perceived them--instead of playing at being the victim of a harsh and cruel world at the mercy of someone or something other than me. To realize that the experiences I attracted to myself depended on the consciousness I radiated out to the field of energies that served only me.

Adamus is the current ascended master being channeled by Geoff. He's a facet of the soul of Saint-Germain, who was an embodied master in the 18th century. In that lifetime, he worked with many heads of state in Europe, trying to introduce to the people the idea of freedom and personal sovereignty. Of course, the ruling royal families of the time didn't want to give up the power and control, but astonishingly, the serfs and peasants didn't want the responsibility of their own freedom either.... 

That's why the whole freedom experiment was brought to America. There was no class system here yet. But even we Americans don't have a clue about what it means to be truly free....

The Basic Tenet of Power: In order for me to win, someone else must lose.

There is only room for one on the pyramid peak of power--everyone else has to be dropped down a few notches.

Friendly competition is one thing, but when it becomes a monopoly where everyone else is wiped out, that's power and control at its zenith....and....eventually every giant gets knocked down and replaced by someone newer, stronger, more famous, more beautiful, richer....and that cycles on and on and on....

Freedom and Power cannot co-exist.

I am the only true representative of my sovereignty--this, my domain. All other government officials or any individuals who would try to dictate the actions of others--they are playing the Power Game, and are not recognized by me as being of any significance in my world. 

Freedom doesn't mean I run roughshod over anyone else either. The power game illusion works both ways. Freedom means honoring the sovereignty of others, as well as my own.

It takes two to tango or tangle....to have a relationship

A bully is obsolete when he or she doesn't have anyone to victimize. Assume your sovereignty, live it out every moment--No one tells me how to be!.... Give up the pretense of being the victim, and the bully has nothing to sustain itself--no one is feeding it so it will go out of existence. It's all illusion--that whole power story. Death is not real. No one can actually shove you out of existence or take any of the energies from your own personal field of energy. Take a few deep-down into you breaths, feel into your true inherent freedom, into your true self that is so much more than a little human just trying to survive in the story of a cruel survival-of-the-fittest world.

Asleep humans don't know what to do with someone who shines their light--who has a clarity and awareness about who we each and all truly are beyond the old stories of this world.

I've finally personally realized that throughout my entire life I've had a very different awareness of this world compared to most of those around me. I didn't know it. I just thought it was common sense on my part and that most people would naturally see it the way I did. Some were drawn to me because they felt safe. Some liked to feed off my energies by literally dumping their frustrations in my lap. Some actually emotionally and verbally attacked me. Others tried to handle their own sense of unworthiness when around me by trying to make me feel unworthy. Some sought to look me in the eye, others avoided eye contact at all costs.

This realization at this depth has only hit me in the last month or so. It's liberating me from a prison I had myself in that I wasn't even aware was still here. My beloved human brothers and sisters--this stuff goes deep and there are many layers. We all have these experiences of our own personal creation--and I will acknowledge that there are some manifestations that happened even in my adulthood that I didn't know how to cope with--shame and guilt was still felt by me. When the worst of these things happened, I remember going into a trance-like state where I became more the observer than the participant.

I see now that I had so much conflict happening within me--a very empathetic, sensitive person--that it caused me to freeze, to allow things that I wouldn't have normally. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings because they were already desperate and on the edge, yet what I allowed them to do--to harm me--truly wasn't helping them either. But at the time, I coped the best way I knew how to--I left my body.

The only way I've managed to open the door on this one is to remember that all these human experiences are "Let's Pretend" acts from which all the details are separated away like chaff from the kernels of grain. Yep--I'm still imperfect--go figure! Ha! Ha!

Those acts are being done and allowed by scared, vulnerable-feeling humans who have no real idea of who we truly all are. After the experiences, on the other side of the Veil/River, the details are burned away--the energies transmuted and neutralized--while the germ of wisdom gained from the experience is retained and gifted to the soul.

In short, there are awful memories that truly can be forgiven, and then forever forgotten--but first you have to allow yourself to look at them with compassion and all-accepting love for you, the courageous human experiencer, who has been through all of it--the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful--out of love for All That Is, out of love for our own souls.

Self-sovereignty and Mastery 

You don't have to retain the memory because once you've garnered the wisdom, there is no need for re-enactment. You don't need to worry about holding onto the memory so it doesn't happen again. It's all done--once you've allowed your human self on this side of the Veil/River to recognize the wisdom gained. This, my beloveds, is mastery--everything is realized while still in human form on this side of the River Jordan, instead of after what humans think of as death.

Because I've looked at it all with this clarity and compassionate love for myself, I know it won't happen ever again. I'm too clear about things now, and that lets me relax and breathe easier.

A "Bring that which is hidden into the Light" moment:

When I began writing out this particular post a few days ago, I had no idea or plans to out my little secret up there. But in allowing myself to channel my true self, I see now that this post could not be written without it because I've gotten to the true core of the matter of power and the sexual energy virus--for me....

You see, I now fully recognize that my outer world reality is merely a reflection of what is going on within me. It's a mirror image of the relationship I have with myself and all the aspects I've ever created. The outer world that I perceive is actually ALL MY OWN FIELD OF ENERGIES SERVING ME!

I am my Bully....and....I am its Victim.

Only I can set myself free....and Only I can practice my freedom....

and choose to Do No Harm, nor Allow Harm to Myself....

Being free means I take full responsibility for myself--every single moment. It doesn't mean I get to demand from the outer world something I'm unwilling to do for myself. I, alone, am responsible for allowing my energies to manifest food and shelter and love and enjoyment of life for me. Dying soldiers and civilians do not set me free or ensure my liberty or my being fed and clothed. Blaming any others outside of me for my situation is a fruitless waste of my energy. If I'm in a situation, I put myself there, and I'm the only one who can take myself out of it.

I alone am the Source and Center of any reality I create. I  alone am the Sovereign of my domains/creations.

When I'm good within, about and with, myself--my outer world should reflect that.

There is no "they"....it's all me....

There is no one outside of myself that I need to free myself from--"they" are all my own energies in service to me. It's just a matter of letting go of old ideas about who and what I am and how my world works.

Oppressive governments, dictatorships, corrupt individuals or corporations, religious or educational institutions who want power and control over the masses--anyone who would tell me how to be--basically they are all aspects that I created. Just as those like Adamus Saint-Germain, Tobias, Kuthumi, Kryon, The Group from Espavo--anyone who inspires and encourages my embracing of my inherent freedom, self-sovereignty and creatorship--they are all aspects of me also.

All these aspects created from this lifetime and all other life expressions of my soul are coming in to integrate back into this current ascended body of consciousness. They are neutralizing (returning to zero point) so that they are available to serve me in a brand new way that is more fitting to who I realize I am now.

So it's about letting go of fighting and tangling with those outer manifestations and focusing on relaxing and allowing my energies to go through their shift and change in order to accommodate my more open, less-limited conscious awareness of myself. Yes, it looks and feels very chaotic because this is a quantum change, not linear. It's just a matter of maintaining this outlook through all of  the releasing, rearrangement, and rejuvenating of all my energies in my own personal field.

In short, I'm okay....and yes, I am ready for my true freedom and sovereignty....

I don't have to fix anyone or anything, or prepare for the worst....I am safe....and so is my own particular manifestation of the world....

So....we shall see....