Winning in the Big Game of Life Doesn't Matter

Those trophies I once sought and savored sat on the shelf collecting dust until I finally realized how little they mattered to me and threw them out....with a huge sigh of relief....

Whether I won or lost a game never really mattered to me.

As I was out on my daily walk yesterday, dodging ice patches and stepping over snow drifts, I was taken back in a bit of a dreamwalk to my youth, and I remembered how I approached any game I played. I remembered playing monopoly one night where I went bankrupt and had a bit of a fit. But it wasn't because I lost the game. It was because I was eliminated from playing the game any further. I felt like I was missing out on the fun.

My brother, Steve, who was ten years older than me, used to say I often beat him playing checkers--and it wasn't because he let me. I don't really remember that. I just remember enjoying the game with whomever would play with me.

I grew up on a farm in southwestern North Dakota (USA) so we had long winters where we occupied ourselves playing card games like Pinochle, Whist, Canasta, Speed, Uno, various versions of Rummy, etc. I don't remember my wins, but I do remember a lot of laughing and simply having fun. I recognized patterns fairly easily, but not to the extent of caring enough to count cards. Often, I remember bidding way too high on my hand in a Pinochle game just for the heck of it to see how it played out. Of course, I lost most of those. 

There were enough siblings, along with their mates, in our family to play volleyball on warm, sunny days. Again, I don't recall a single score. What I remember is the joy that came with keeping the volleys going back and forth over the net. And the hilarity of my brother, Tim, ripping holes in his jeans as he'd nose-dive to the ground in an attempt to keep the ball in the air. Again, there was a whole lot of laughter.

When I was dating my first boyfriend we'd spend weekend evenings playing a homemade game called Marbles (similar to Aggravation). My sister-in-law partnered with me against Tim and Arlen, and the antics that ensued were rollicking good fun. Those two guys would kill one another off in a strategic attempt to best us girls. Sometimes it worked. And when it didn't, and we took out one of their marbles, they came up with the very picturesque adage of "being caught with their pants down." You probably had to be there. The funny thing is, we weren't drinking anything stronger than Pepsi--and those two guys were entertaining as all get out. They are some of my best memories from those days.

None of it matters, not really....

My true awakening realization occurred in the final days and moments I had with my dad as he used the story of death by lung cancer to exit this world. I realized that all the wins and losses in relationships, finances, education, health, government, politics, religion--well--none of it mattered at all. It was just a game where ultimately the score didn't matter. It was a conglomeration of stories of experiences. And, on some level, I enjoyed playing every single part of it....and....I was grateful for the opportunity to just play....

"Shut the Effenheimer Up!": An Effective Tool for Your Whiny Victim Aspects

I was printing this post out for a very dear friend of mine who encourages me in my writing, and I realized I wanted to clarify a few things and share a bit of background on the subject of me and cussing. 

I attended a one-room country school for first grade, and if I remember correctly, there were only five or six kids total, all of them older than me. The school closed, and I attended "town school" from 2nd grade on. It was on the playground of the public school that I first heard the word, "shit," and I tried it out in all its glory as our mom drove us home from school that day. 

Mom replied, "Pen, we don't say that word." And that was all it took for me to stop.

I didn't hear much cussing from my dad when he was around us. Maybe my brothers heard it when out working with him, but he didn't make it a standard practice from what I recall. My brother, Steve, said he learned how to swear from the custom combiners that helped harvest our crops. Ha! Some of my other brothers closer to me in age--now they could let the 4 Letters fly with gusto, especially when puberty hit! Ha!

My family wasn't prudish: I had a great uncle who was a dear fishing friend of my dad's, and the man told all kinds of naughty jokes. I've had a lot of laughter in my life--and that truly has probably been my most saving grace of all.

With all that said, swearing is something I've kept a fairly tight lid on most of my life, and it's a trait shared by many of us older Shaumbra. Ascended master, Adamus St-Germain has seemingly made it his mission to encourage us to get into that truly authentic being that we are, and to realize that sometimes an F-bomb is the best communication out there for specific moments and uses. And I've realized lightning hasn't struck me down for ever using one....

I don't cuss all the time because when swear words are in every utterance of a person's mouth I get desensitized to them. They lose their oomph. I quit listening....and....

There are times when I need that bit of shock and awe of a well-placed "F-bomb" to make my point clear--to take that stand within myself that leaves no room for negotiation or compromise. 

"Tell those victim aspects to shut the fuck up!"

In the 2023 February Shoud, Sovereign ascended master, Adamus Saint-Germain (crimsoncircle.com) made that recommendation to a fellow Shaumbra who was allowing an aspect that insisted she was an alcoholic to run her life.

We've all created aspects in this lifetime and in other lifetime expressions of our souls. Some of them were created out of traumatic circumstances: death by torture, actions that caused remorse, unresolved guilt and shame, intense anger....Some leave energetic imprints in the form of physical or emotional or mental wounds and scarring. I've recognized these as the Victim voice within that constantly reminds me that someone or something outside of me is causing me to endure something I don't like or want, but cannot change or manipulate or control (this is the Sexual Energy Virus).

I've been playing the role of wife in a marriage, and it's given me plenty of opportunities to play with being the victim of my husband's ideas and actions. I've had 33 years of practice, plus a few more when we were just dating. With awakening, I have struggled long and hard with trying to get past feeling like a victim--this blog is littered with those stories--but wrangling with them only makes them stronger and more steadfast in my reality. 

I have managed to go beyond many of them by allowing my perspective to shift and somehow choosing to finally just let them go and get on with living my life. I clearly remember doing that when after episode after episode of watching in powerless fear as my husband rode off on his motorcycle, I suddenly realized I'd been insisting on recreating the trauma, and its ensuing emotions, of losing my first boyfriend in a motorcycle accident all over again. I shook my head at myself, grinned, and let it go. It was such a relief! And here it was, just that simple, easy....

"Just let it go....and get on with living your life...."

Oh, those whiny frickin' voices within that like to keep insisting that I'm being wronged or taken for granted....I realized I still had a few....

Adamus' little tool really worked for me. I found myself telling those tantrum-throwing, incessantly whispering little shits to "Shut the Fuck Up!" And I did it a few good times whenever I found myself feeling like a powerless victim. I left no more room for them to get a word in edgewise. I stood firm within myself as I belted it out, and then went on as though they never existed....and so they were gone....I no longer suffer the fools. I tell them all to "Shut the Fuck up!"....I'm done playing that game.

As everyone reading this can see--I have quite the amusing conversations with myself.

Over-population: The Fear Driving the Power Players

There is an element in our society who is AFRAID (key word) of the over-population of our Earth.

Fear of not having enough resources to survive here, much less thrive, has been driving all the power plays we see going on and now being revealed.  

With the development of the smart phones and other technologies, that which was once hidden away is now being revealed instantly the moment events happen by any human anywhere in the world. No more secrets. No more naughty shenanigans without traumatic repercussions. Karma can be a bitch for the unawakened, power-and-control-grasping human--and it's not waiting anymore for another lifetime to kick-in.

The Power Game: An Illusion and a Delusion

My dad, in his bid to bring about a better world where people didn't go hungry and it wasn't ruled by those in power, inspired in me the courage to delve into such matters on my own in the mid-nineties. It was a terrifying hell in which I felt very small--of no significance whatsoever in my own world. However, I did manage to drum up enough attention to myself by refusing to pay an income tax that I didn't like being misused by "public officials" to kidnap our beloved children for their sexual deviances. I lost all interest in the political game--I could tell most of them were simply after fame and fortune and power and control. None of them seemed actually interested in finding a true resolution or in changing a dysfunctional system. It was all about the manipulation of others to their own benefit.

Even the Christian religion got watered down and compromised away from its pure beginnings by human elements interested in power and control of the masses. There are scared little humans even in the pulpits. There are popes and rulers driven by power throughout history who manipulated the writings of their sacred texts and the messages delivered to their followers. 

Not so very long ago, by being able to control the narrative delivered to the masses by ownership of the mainstream sources of news media, dens of deep asleep little humans, trying to maintain power and control over their outer "others," have been plotting the demise and control of the rest of their human brothers and sisters. They didn't want too many humans around to infringe on their luxurious way of life, but they wanted some good slaves, too. This has been going on for centuries....and....this Survival of the Fittest mind trap is on its way out. And it's not going quietly in this last hurrah breath.

It's a Big Pretend Game: Absolutely NO ONE can actually steal energy or eternal life from another person....

The key to ending the game is to CHOOSE to just quit playing the game of being anyone's victim. Live out your best, most enjoyably abundant life without giving those who choose POWER games the time of day. That way, whatever crap a person puts out will automatically return and knock them on their behinds quicker. A bully who can't entice someone to act like their victim sits all alone in their own stinky poop....

Individual bubbles of biology may bounce into one another, but they can't actually overlap or intrude.

Every person has his/her own "I am" conscious awareness center surrounded by his own personal field of energies to serve that specific consciousness. Everything we need to survive and thrive is right at hand within our own sphere of energies specifically in service to each of us alone. I picture us each as these clear bubbles bumping up against one another but they never actually overlap or insert themselves into each other. 

However, one bubble can make a SUGGESTION to another that the other can CHOOSE or not to make her truth. For example: 

"This is who you are, what you do, and how you do it." 

Or "This planet is limited in its resources and there isn't enough for all to live abundantly. There's not enough free, clean energy for everyone." 

Or "You lack, you poor, pitiful Little Human--so others need to be responsible and take care of you."

We've been individuals creating our own realities based on the suggestion of others OUTSIDE of us. Most of us, for eons of time, have been unaware that this is what we've been doing.

So when someone suggests that there are others outside of you who can control and have full power over your life--and you accept that as your truth--wha-la! you have manifested a persecutor in your created experience. You get to act out what it's like to be a victim.

Don't Fight! Shine your Light!

The more a person fights and messes around with a struggle or a battle within your own reality bubble, the more entangled you become. The creation gets more entrenched, more solidified. You can't fight your way out of it because your TRUTH that there is a force greater than you keeps you feeling like you're a victim--and that radiated consciousness will continue to create monsters ALL FOR YOU! 

You have to quit the story. No more! I am done! Eff off! CHOOSE to be done, take a few good deep releasing and clearing breaths, and act like it no longer exists in your life. Forgive and forget it. It was all simply just an act--a Let's Pretend Game, all done out of love to gain wisdom for your soul by having a human being experience. 

You, the human, are simply The Experiencer. You don't distill the details of the experience down into the wisdom gained--your soul does that. Once you choose and release the act and the story and all your feelings and thoughts to the soul, it gleans the wisdom from it, and in return you shine a little clearer, a little brighter. 

And that clear light emanating from your bubble shines out onto the surfaces of the bubbles around you, highlighting potentials in their own field of energies that they just couldn't perceive before because it was too dark or too mucky, or both. Their awareness of themselves and who they truly are was just limited for a time--for a purpose that has now expanded. 

You're like a lighthouse--quietly shining revealing potential paths home to the Eternal One that resides within every single human being. The god within.

"Thou shall have no idols before me."

Yeah, that's one of the commandments given to Moses in the Old Testament of the Christian Holy Bible. And lately, it's been blinking like a neon sign at me.

I grew up with the Christian religion all around me. I was never raised in or schooled in any particular perspective of it. I did feel an affinity with Yeshua and Christ Consciousness, but not with the Savior Jesus slant. Something deep inside me knew none of us needed saving. Some loving god sending his beloved children to an eternal flaming hell never felt right. 

In other people, I can now detect an I am having fun with this "Let's Pretend there is a devil or evil Satan to fight Game." But I no longer feel the need to clear that up or say anything contrary when I realize they are simply having a personally chosen experience and that they are okay no matter what happens.

However, I wasn't always this undoubtedly clear all my life. I used to talk to god and my eyes were focused on some god out there, everywhere else but within me.

Finally, I realized somewhere along the way that I was addressing the god within me--within my own I am self. I'd be talking to myself in a mirror or when out walking, gardening, relaxing with a cup of coffee, or even in the bathroom (because it's quiet in there and it's a great place to release stuff....Grinning!).

I realized the idols referred to in that commandment given to Moses were actually anyone or anything outside of oneself that I worshipped or placed in a position higher than myself. Basically, to idolize anyone or anything outside of myself is to hand my self-sovereignty--my freedom--over to someone else. Thou shalt have no gods other than my own soul, my "I am." 

And that is the truth I choose to highlight for everyone else: Don't place anyone or anything other than you greater or higher or of more authority over you than the "I am" soul, the only god for you alone, and it's within you....

It always has been there, we just forgot it for awhile--because the sensual experience of it being out there somewhere else makes us appreciate more profoundly having it all within, right at hand....

I know it's seductive playing in the conspiracy realms--been there, done all of that--but when you do, you keep perpetuating the fighting instead of releasing it from your own life....

and possibly experiencing something far grander....

You have joyous abundance--all at hand within your own bubble of reality. No one can take it from you if you release the suggestion that they can from your truth.