Ascension: Realizing The Past Was A Bunch Of B.S.--Belief Systems--That Didn't Really Matter

There is a reason why I keep returning to the last hours and days I had with my dad--that's one of the defining moments where I ascended in consciousness. I woke up out of the box of belief systems I'd been defaulting to as my own truths, which they weren't. They were just a collection of emotionally felt beliefs that the mass consciousness of humanity around me suggested was the way life works and how we should be in it.

Crimson Circle's Tobias, Adamus Saint-Germain, Kuthumi and others have been reminding me and other Shaumbra (awakened wanderers, lightworkers, spiritual family members) from the very beginning, that if we had found ourselves drawn to their writings and gatherings and speeches--well, we had already ascended in consciousness. What we've been doing since, is seeing ourselves EXPERIENCE, bodily and mentally, that ascension--bringing Home/Heaven here to earth, beginning within ourselves. We were told over and over again that we could choose it to be an easy and graceful experience, or it could be difficult and traumatic and dramatic--but to remember that we had FREE CHOICE in the matter, with no judgment about there being a right or wrong way to experience it. And that we had already arrived so there was no need to fret or worry--just simply enjoy the only-of-its-kind experience.

Today it hit me that maybe I should share what that quantum leap into an expanded consciousness--that awakening into awareness of my real self--was like.

There was no choir of winged angels, nor were there streets paved in gold. It was just Dad leaving me. I'd tried everything I knew possible to make him comfortable as his organs shut down, and as the hallucinations I'd read about in the hospice brochure, hit. I had the heater on full blast with the windows wide open--and there still wasn't enough air for him. Out of sheer desperation, after refusing his request to take him outside (it was in the forties in the middle of the night), I even tried to tell him that Jesus would come get him. But the moment the words left my lips, I felt like I was just feeding him a line I wasn't even sure I believed myself. So I dropped it.

Finally, he just laid back against his pillows, and I asked him, "Do you want me to do your feet?" I'd been using foot reflexology as my means to touch and connect and care for him the last couple of weeks--often three times a day. He nodded his assent, and so I began the process of touching his entire body through his feet.

But this time was different than all the others--as I pressed and soothed each area connected to a specific organ of his body, I found myself saying out loud, "Well done, my son--I commend you to the Father." And again, "Well done, my son--I commend you to the Father..."

A bit surprising for someone who has never been baptized or schooled in an established religious organization, to realize a couple of months later--as she's watching a priest say the same lines on a TV show--that she was performing a last rites type of ritual.

But as my human mind yelled at me as I did it, asking, "WHO do you think you ARE? You're crazy...blah, blah, blah!"--I simply kept going. Because there was a warm expansiveness in my heart region that simply wanted Dad to know I loved him unconditionally and with a profound gratitude that is still expanding to this day. It didn't matter if Jesus or some other god loved him--what mattered in those last moments is that I realized that I LOVED HIM in ALL his ways, and I WAS GRATEFUL for him being a part of my life, my stories.

For a more in-depth rendering of this whole story of those last moments with Dad, click here: With Love, Dad.

I remember looking into my eyes in the bathroom mirror shortly after Dad took his last breath that following evening. Something was different, and I'm still hard-put to describe it. It felt surreal and I felt surreal...something profound in me had shifted.

I continued staying with my sister and brother-in-law for two weeks after Dad crossed over. I used the excuse of staying in order to help bring things to a close, but in truth, I didn't have any desire to return to my old life--the relationship issues, the career and job issues, all the trying to be a good neighbor and friend issues. Not one iota of any of it mattered anymore. As I wrote earlier--relationship problems and dramas of all kinds: religion, family, politics, government, education, business, jobs--it all seemed silly. NONE of it MATTERED! 

And I didn't know how to be in a world of belief systems about stuff that didn't matter to me anymore!

I remember walking into my kitchen to be warmly welcomed home by my husband and our beloved cats, Max and Molly--and I wasn't sure I wanted to be there.

I simply wanted to hide out for awhile, to be alone. To not have to fix, do, be anything for anyone. I remember stepping outside onto our deck one afternoon only to glance over and see our elderly widow neighbor also standing outside. To me, at that moment, she was one more person to have to take care of--and I just couldn't take that on again, so I quietly slipped back inside my house cocoon before she saw me. Wouldn't you know, the moment I didn't want company, neighbors wanted to see me--ha! They all meant well, but, GOD!--did I yearn for some all-alone time in a pasture with just my pets and nature.

As I feel into those memories, I'm amazed I'm still here today, all these years later. The clipping of a single thread, and I could have easily left this world. It felt like such an empty VOID, and I had no idea where to go from there.

But, you see, it all worked out. I needed that time in the void to take stock, and to release myself from so many constructs and beliefs that I was operating on that I was unaware were there inside of me. Yes--I went through times of depression in the process of releasing. I had to empty out in order to make space for the new me that was emerging. But on the heels of those dark tunnels, dark nights of the soul, was this ENLIGHTENING of ME! Old baggage and burden after burden was dissolved away and I began to walk taller and straighter--much more confident and at home in my own skin than ever before.

And when I was ready to open up to friendships with others, they appeared in my life and through the internet, just like that (a snap of the fingers)! I discovered there were quite a few people around the world going through a similar awakening into themselves.

And in these friendships, I was reminded over and over, that I was doing just fine--that I was appropriately where and how I needed to be in every moment. Don't doubt yourself anymore! Trust yourself--you're really all that you have.

They reminded me to JUST BREATHE and be aware that I'm breathing and manifesting my life with every breath...

That I could simply choose what I desired "just because." I didn't have to earn the right, or prove my self worthy, first.

That forgiveness of self is knowing that past regrets and shames weren't really me. That was a person deeply asleep in the old layers of forgetting oneself and my connection to The Eternal.

That I didn't need to mentally try to figure any of it out....that mental analysis didn't really work to discover a true answer. 

That the true answers came from my heart, and I'd recognize it because it's the same voice of LOVE I listened to that night with Dad--that warm and comforting tingling awareness--of compassionate KNOWINGNESS...

And they reminded me to love myself fully, as I was reminded to do decades ago by that voice within me...the ONE that told me I AM SO LOVED...ALWAYS, IN ALL MY WAYS...

The Core Issue To Resolve All Violence

The core issue to overcome behind all forms of violence is each individual's fear of death.

In order to resolve the core issue, one has to be willing to explore death--something that I find amazing that few people are willing to do. After all, every single one of us dies at least once. Once you've overcome the power of the fear of death to influence your living of your life, the need for weapons, militaries and the control of anything or anyone outside of you falls away into obsolescence. And that frees up all kinds of a person's energies to be focused on things you may truly enjoy experiencing.

Professor Adamus St.-Germain (crimsoncircle.com) has said that if we're afraid of dying, then we should be terrified every time  we close our eyes to fall asleep--because the same things happen. We let go of our present reality and identities, and we surrender to our true self--our souls, our spiritual divinity. Our bodies and minds re-balance, rest, and rejuvenate. What is so scary about that?

And what if we can pick up our bodies and leave for a time, and then return at whim, without having to suffer some traumatic illness or "accident" where we leave a corpse for a loved one to deal with? I've heard of self-masters who have done just that, and I'm determined to experience that for myself. No sad-sack funerals for me.

I know a lot of old established belief systems have it in their best interest for existing by keeping the masses afraid of themselves and thus, of their death. But do you want to stay in that box anymore? Does it resonate with your heart? Does it set you free? Do you FEEL free?

Or are you truly sick and tired of the self-righteous bullshit used to rationalize violence, the bigotry and the excuses for doing harm to oneself and others? What if there is this amazing new way of living and manifesting that you're missing out on just because of clinging to old familiar beliefs--beliefs that keep you in the state of having "just barely enough," or in many cases, being outright miserable day after day after day?

We have a whole new realm of magical possibilities to experience, but in order to do so, that old fear-based stuff has to be examined from each person's heart instead of from all that conformity glob swimming around in our heads. Death is what we each have to explore to resolve it. Each person can only discover for themselves what it really is. I'm no longer leaving that up to someone outside of me to do for me--it's too important. I'm done sleeping through my life. I'm done apologizing for living and breathing--for simply being. I'm done with funerals. I'm done with sickness. I'm done with violence. I'm done with death. NO MORE!

Feeling Into Freedom--Simple Sovereignty

In the mid-nineties I explored the self-sovereignty concept, but in the end, I gave it up because it was too complicated, and it didn't seem possible to exist even partially happily if I wasn't participating in the current monetary and governmental systems. The problem with it was it was all mentally complex.  And emotionally and spiritually a confusingly muddy mess. Back then you had to fill out forms, write letters being so careful of the wording; and then I found myself fighting battles with government bureaucratic sheep who used intimidation and the media to keep outside-of-the-box thinkers from getting too far outside the box, for fear of it causing a revolution. I simply wanted my own freedom--this in a country (America) where we're supposed to be the lighthouse of freedom in the world.

Politics and wars are not the means of gaining freedom--they are distractions from the true freedom that ONLY YOU can choose, and live out for yourself....

My friends, if you haven't contemplated your freedom beyond going to the polls to vote for people you may or may not want to represent you (for me, it was often trying to pick the best of a limited two or three less-than-satisfying choices), I encourage you to revisit what true freedom means to you. I'm truly the only one who can represent myself--and that is no longer negotiable for me, which is why I chose to not vote this past election. That bullshit had nothing that I wanted any part of. I am that I am, sovereign of my domain!

EVERY SINGLE HUMAN IS A "Natural Freeborn Being" ON THIS PLANET! If you're living under the rule of someone other than yourself, don't fight with it (that will just densify that reality for you). Instead, open up to looking at it from the perspective that you put yourself in that situation--whether it be through karma, ancestral lineage or your soul's choice of experience--rather than someone doing it to you. 

It's amazing how empowered I feel in my life when I view everything I experience as something I have given to myself simply for gaining wisdom for my soul. Maybe you placed yourself in the midst of that authoritarian-type rule in order to be a Light to the more that can be possible simply by being a living example of how perspective and perception can break the bonds of any type of imprisonment.

We humans are the courageous and loving Experiencers for our own soul facets. We've been conditioned by mass consciousness to believe otherwise--that we're some lowly beings just trying to survive and eke out a living while learning lessons in order to perfect ourselves. We need to prove ourselves worthy of existing. And so most of humanity live out in their daily lives that they are these "hard-working" slaves to some job or other entity, never questioning it, much less, contemplating how it would feel to actually be free and the sovereign ruler of one's own life. 

We have been unconsciously making a constant choice to be subjects of someone else while never being aware that it is a choice, much less that we're the ones making it. 

It's a mental hypnosis that each of us, in our own time, will naturally awaken from.

We've accepted the Power Game Illusion--which is only a suggestion--as our individual truth, thus it's become so, and is manifested in our personal realities. Dictators, energy-stealers and terrorists and default governments simply fall away when they have no victims buying into their hateful conspiracy bullshit. At the core of it all--those playing those parts are just blind, terrified individuals, too--lacking in integrity on the human level, but on the soul level, just as amazing as any other soul playing the part of heroic human. 

We haven't been manifesting true freedom in our reality simply because we are not FEELING free--we aren't consciously CHOOSING to radiate that sensual freedom out into our own personal energy field that matches our every nuance in the creation of what we experience. 

The reason the paperwork and the fighting didn't work for me is because it was a limited consciousness I was radiating: one of emotional turmoil, confusion, self-doubt, and fear--so that is what I experienced. One person would use the Bible to condemn paying taxes, the next would use the same line as an argument to pay them. Both sides of the debate had a point, but I walked away still asking the question, "So what the hell is the RIGHT way?"

That wasn't freedom. But it was the catalyst that got me reading the entire Bible (and materials others said I shouldn't read) for myself, as well as delving into its history and questioning this thing that a lot of people blindly call "The Word of God." If they'd actually read the thing without being influenced by outside manipulators telling them how to study and interpret it, they would have found in its very pages, like I did, that it said not to trust outside teachers and prophets, especially those who had you focused on some outer event or being, rather than the truth that was to be found within oneself. (See I John, New Testament).

That is what I did--I tossed out everything I had been taught and conditioned to believe was true and real, and I started building a reality based on a foundation that resonated with me--IN MY HEART, not my head.

Manifesting your own personal freedom without war or distress: 

Close your eyes. Simply BREATHE gently and deeply into the spacious core of you, CHOOSE freedom, and then FEEL into it with every breath. 

DON'T try to envision it through your mind or figure out what it looks like or how to do it. Our minds think in terms of LIMITATION and will constantly chatter its REASONING as to why YOU or OTHERS CAN'T handle true freedom.

You don't have to convince anyone else. You don't have to fill out any forms or have the right words come out of your mouth in order to protect yourself. You don't have to battle anyone, have a soldier die for your freedom, or anything. Just breathe that gentle easy breath of life...feeling into  your own freedom...

Feel your protective armor drop--the clenched jaw relaxes, the tightened neck and shoulder muscles drop their burdens. The stomach muscles relax and you begin to feel a tingling warmth that spreads outward from your innermost being--and suddenly you feel open, expansive, radiant..........and you realize you're smiling with your lips and your eyes. Awww! That's what freedom feels like!

Keep feeling into your own freedom on a daily basis--maybe you'll surprise yourself with what you create peacefully through ALLOWANCE of yourself, instead of resistance.........