Healing the Guilty Gossip in Me

"Worry not so much about what you put IN your mouth, but rather about what comes OUT of it." 

Okay, so I'll go ahead and eat a few more of those kettle-cooked potato chips dipped in sour cream...and we'll just kind of avoid that last part...

"Eeeeew! Ouch, Pen! Honey, do we REALLY have to go there? You're going to be the death of me. I've worked so damned hard and long to make you appear to be this PERFECT HUMAN SPECIMEN, who has all the right answers in every situation, who acts and reacts in all the right ways, Ms. "Embodied Self-Master"--and here you go, outing us, sharing one of our most awful secrets about yourself!"

The above little drama-queen moment comes to you compliments of my cringing-in-shame ego, the old all-alone-feeling, Little Insignificant Human.

I reply, "Hang in there, kid. Don't we both know by now that the best way to overcome a fear is to walk through it with honesty? And it's tough going, trying to stay on that wobbly pedestal, isn't it? So, let's dust off the musties and bring it out here into the Light. It stinks to high heaven in here. Don't worry, honey--we're all going to be okay...and I'm taking a huge pressure off your shoulders with this."

Yes, my friends, I have gossiped--way more than I'd like to admit.

One of the latest favorite approaches to try changing bad human behavior is to teach that there are absolute right choices, and there are absolute wrong choices--and you stand on a pedestal behind a podium (or share a rant on facebook), and you point your finger at others and chew them out for doing something you would surely never do. Or maybe you did do it, and regret it, and are trying to "help" others avoid the same "errors" in judgment. Whatever the justification, it's all just an attempt to manipulate those outside of you, in hopes of feeling more safe and secure in a world you really can't control.

I have certainly done my fair share of self-righteous ranting and raving about "those other people's" gossiping transgressions.

But does putting someone on the defensive--shaming them--about their behavior actually stop the behavior? Does accusing someone of being a gossip cause them to stop gossiping? It doesn't work with me, no matter how ashamed I feel, and I doubt it works with anyone else.

You see--we all make choices that we regret at times, and we wish for a do-over--but if we don't encourage independent choice-making and allow each person the chance to make choices of all kinds, we end up with a society of whiny slave robots. I got to the point of trying to be so perfect and mild and wise--the way I mentally thought  a self-master should be, that suddenly I was paralyzed when it came to making even the simplest choices. I lost confidence in myself, and I found myself drowning in the victimhood act that I was so tired of playing in the first place.

I was so afraid of making a wrong choice, that, for years, I didn't paint my rooms anything but white, for fear of wasting money on paint and wasting my time, in labor. Finally, I allowed myself to choose two paint colors--an eye-blinding yellow and a really boring beige--before settling on a coneflower yellow. I painted that room over completely three times (two coats each time) within a year. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? All that worry about a choice in paint. Ha!

One "bad" choice is not the end-all of everything--it doesn't mean a person is now committed to that bad path for life. We need to make an allowance for self-discovery and the so-called "mistakes," so we learn we can KEEP CHOOSING in order to not get stuck in an act we don't enjoy. This is a SAFE and SACRED PLAYGROUND ILLUSION, after all.

Maybe in place of the finger-pointing shame, we should instead explore death and abundance and those areas that keep humans afraid of making choices for fear of harming anything or anyone unintentionally.

I have my own personal set of rules of behavior that I try to adhere to as much as possible, and my personal definition of gossiping is:  any time I catch myself energetically feeding off discussing any interpersonal relationship where I am not a party in the story.

The family unit is one of the longest established belief systems, and each family has a moral code its members try to follow. My own family is no exception. My grandmother's advice when she sent Mom off to school in town was, "Don't be a gossip." She was the rock of her family, and she died six weeks after my 19-year-old mom's wedding, so that piece of insight has been one of the stoniest parts in our family's unwritten code of honor. It's not that we didn't gossip--we're all perfectly imperfect humans, after all--but we were aware of its power to really hurt someone, so we made it a point to try not to engage in it so much.

For me, struggling to not be a gossip has been as frustrating as struggling to not be a victim. No matter how much I try to avoid the energy-feeding involved in both, I still find myself playing the roles--and they are going to continue irritatingly popping up all around and within me, until I bring the subject out into the open, take a more objective look, and make my peace with being imperfect. Until I let go of taking myself so seriously and quit monitoring the "be-jesus" out of myself--and finally reach that feeling of actual gratitude for the wisdom gained from all that experience and exploration.

To add insult to injury, my pointing finger and my wrist is sprained, nearly arthritic with overuse. Just kidding.

So, let's step out of those guilty feelings that I've admitted to feeling--that, frankly, haven't helped me change anything--and take a seat in the audience chair:

Gossip is hurtful when it causes anyone longer-lasting misery and more suffering than needed. There is a "wicked delight" (energy feeding) at telling others about the downfall of someone you don't much like--or that you envy. That elated-feeling, pedestal-superiority is hard to let go of when you feel so insecure about yourself, and basically bored with your own life.

Is there a difference between news-reporting and gossip? There is so much "news" shared that probably shouldn't be reported in the first place. We don't know people--anyone--well enough to always understand why we do the horrendous things we Unawakened Little Humans do to one another. So is it in our best interests to keep the worst things humans can do to one another at the forefront of mass consciousness by replaying the story out on the nightly news? Lately, I've discovered I would rather pick defaulting to closed-mouth compassion over lip-flapping judgment every time.

Have you noticed that while participating in a gossip session, you find yourself energetically commiserating with the other gossips? It feels like "us" against "them." I notice this can happen so easily with my husband and me--it's us against the world. Ha! Or women talking about "the way men are," and guys talking about "the way women are." It's probably just an unconscious attempt to combat that I'm-insignificant feeling by trying to convince ourselves we belong. Sometimes we desire so much to connect with others that we get carried away and say too much, when it's probably best to let the silence be.

Still, regardless of why we do it, when you leave any gossip scene, you're pretty certain you're the next-in-line gossip victim. And there's no way you can control any of that.

Lately, when someone shares some news item or gossip, I find myself desiring to not have heard it in the first place. I ask myself, "Is that little tidbit of information something I REALLY need to know, and do I want to share it and make it a part of my own reality illusion? Or do I choose to honor the agreement between the characters in that story by letting it slip through and out of my consciousness? Lately, I find I'm more often CHOOSING to keep my lips shut, to NOT perpetuate the story. And I remind myself that nobody is really doing anything wrong on this safe and sacred playground--they're play-acting together, by agreement, at a soul level that I can't always see.

The grace-filled beauty of self-mastery is you know that you're going to behave like an imperfect human at times--and that it's okay. You know why? Because you know it's all just an illusion. And because the more you unconditionally accept yourself, and appreciate the gift of the moment of a human imperfection, the more you'll be that way with everyone outside of yourself. You breathe easier, your personal radiation smooths out and brightens up, and your world changes to match. The energy-feeding trauma-dramas--and the tendencies to gossip about them--dissipate.

There is a story in the New Testament of a man who accused his wife of adultery. He and his self-righteous friends brought her before Jesus and asked him what he would do with her, "outright sinner that she was, caught in the act." The story was even a bit more juicy, because the supposedly jilted husband may have, in fact, framed his wife in order to make himself appear innocent in his own sleaziness. That time, Jesus didn't point a finger at the wife or the husband or anyone who was a part of the spectacle. His answer was, "Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone."...And everyone walked away.

Jesus had the opportunity to draw out the story by listening to all the "he-saids/she saids"--but no matter how much people wrestled over who was in the right and who was wrong, passing any kind of judgment in the matter was a silly no-win situation. All of this sounds similar to the O.J. Simpson trial, those over-acted, chair-throwing Jerry Springer episodes, and reality--REALLY???--TV shows. It would have just created an even more massive suck-fest, sensational story.

Instead, he directed everyone's attention inward--to themselves. End of story. No one was chewed out, shamed, and put on the defensive for being a gossip, or for any other bad behavior.

So, if it helps, put the pointy finger to rest (it just eventually points right back at us anyway)--and, instead, step back from the story. Observe yourself, and check into how you feel inside (CLOSING YOUR EYES, of course).

Before you open your mouth to spread the news, take a moment to consider the consequences of perpetuating it. 

Is that the story you want in your world--in your personal reality illusion? 

Does the way you share it uplift and celebrate humanity? 

In the darker, evil stories, does your pity or self-righteous outrage for the beings involved change things for the better--or does it just spread fear and misery and just add to the steaming pile of "everything that's wrong in this world"? 

What do YOU CHOOSE for YOUR WORLD?

The growth in my self-awareness has replaced a great deal of the self-monitoring and my trying to control those slippery-snake aspects of myself that I don't like. I'm beginning to see potential choices that I didn't see before because I was too busy trying to handle myself correctly. I've noticed I've gotten much quieter these days about some things...and I like that.

FEELING Pain Through, and Out, by Breathing and Staying Present

My husband came home from work at the hospital yesterday, exhausted, overwhelmed, and with a pain in his ear that wouldn't let up. The energies of consciousness were tough yesterday. I was feeling them, too--physically, emotionally and mentally--and the more I get into this self-mastery stuff, the more I've become aware of the connection between the weather and mass consciousness.

The weather and pressure systems match the energetic moods of human consciousness and emotions. It started out as a beautiful, mild and sunny morning yesterday, and then suddenly, I could hardly function enough to find my cats in the yard and bring them in, so I could close my eyes and put my throbbing hip and back to rest. It was hard to mentally hold a train of thought. Self-doubt permeated everything.

I found myself second-guessing my every little deed, feeling like that little girl again with the questionable sense of humor who wanted so much to be included in the fun, but didn't feel like she measured up. Usually, she just managed to embarrass herself enough to where she wished the floor would magically open up and swallow her. That old aspect of myself has been probably one of the most challenging personalities for me to deal with. She's a nuisance, and I find myself telling her, "NO MORE! We're more than this...so much more. And when you distract me with this yammering, you're keeping us both from experiencing something better. So shut up already! Stop it! We're done!" (Go ahead and laugh at me talking to my many selves--but I'll have the last laugh, because you have a whole bunch of tantrum-throwing aspects, too).

Sure enough, it clouded over in the evening, and we got a bit of rain--we listened to it pitter-patter while in bed. It was a relief having that water gently wash the consciousness clear.

After my bath last night, I was sitting here with my left hand feeling the muscles along my spine, pressing and kneading the tender spots in order to give myself some relief. I had massaged my feet in my bath, using my thumbs to press and find the tender spots in order to work them more deeply, smoothing the pain through and out. I learned how to do foot reflexology years ago that I practiced on my dad and my husband and a few friends here and there. It's only recently that I've thought to simply use it on myself. But, boy, has it made a difference!

While massaging out my own aches last night, I realized something very important about pain--it's a mental trap. We have mentally become so accustomed to trying to avoid and not feel pain, that our bodies now automatically brace themselves for the "believed" onslaught of pain. It's another belief system box--how about popping that lid off with me?

The moment humans sense a potential incoming painful sensation, the body TENSES UP and BRACES for having to FEEL it. That bracing tension STOPS the BREATH and actually WORSENS and INTENSIFIES the experience of the pain.

Pain is simply an energy, and as I've written about before, I discovered I can BREATHE it through, coaching myself to FEEL it through and out of my body. When I massage myself (or ask Kelly to help me with the spots that are hard to reach) I press whatever I have on hand as deeply as I can into the sore muscle area--I locate those areas by laying down, closing my eyes and doing a body scan by feeling out the sore and tense spots, sometimes using my fingers to help, too.

When I've located the source and center of the pain, I focus my attention on that spot.

I consciously BREATHE: inhaling through my nose, deep into my belly (I lay my hand on my tummy to feel my breath pushing it up); then exhaling out of my mouth (the hand on my tummy falls).

and I ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL and EXPLORE and IMMERSE myself in the SENSATION of PAIN   (I describe the feeling to myself--sharp, throbbing, achy, can't pinpoint it, white-hot, etc.) 

If I cry, so much the better, because the tears are a release, but I don't seem to cry much anymore from pain.

When I shifted my viewpoint from pain being something to avoid at all costs, to it just being an experience to immerse myself in, and to explore and describe--it took the fear and, gradually, the tension and long-lasting misery out of it...

I realized my SOUL was simply having an experience, nothing more.

Last night my husband's ear pain was still present as we were laying in bed, so together we located the sore muscle areas in his back that connected to that pain. He's an ultra-sound technician, and his right shoulder, arm and hand gets over-used from straining over the bodies of patients in order to get the best diagnostic images. He told me he thought the ear pain was connected to a spot somewhere in the musculature around his shoulder blade--and it was. Once we located it, he asked me to press my elbow into it--I can apply more pressure that way (DO NOT USE this technique on the kidneys!!!). After reminding him to BREATHE DEEPLY a few times first, I lowered my weight on my elbow, all the while reminding him, "BREATHE and FEEL it through. FEEL it through..." It relieved him enough to fall asleep.

Humans are afraid to IMMERSE themselves in an experience, for FEAR OF GETTING STUCK in it and not surviving it. When you invite your SOUL into IMMERSING with your HUMAN self into an experience, it helps you go beyond the pain. Humans feel pain but, thankfully, our souls don't--each, in its own capabilities is a gift to the other. This whole transition into the new consciousness energy is simply uniting the divine SOUL with its HUMAN counterpart so the experiences can be even greater and more fulfilling for one's entire Body of Consciousness. The All-Alone Little Human Drama/Traumas will be a thing of the past.

Helping Others Help You:

I realize that my past experiences have been such that massaging myself is second nature to me. I know my body, and I've accumulated a lot of ways (many of them self-taught) to help myself flow energies through more easily--mainly because I'm passionate about it. I know my anatomy pretty well. But some of you reading this may not. In that case, I would recommend letting yourself experience body work like foot reflexology (if you're really shy) and massage therapy or any other modality that helps you get more aware of your body.

One thing though, when asking another to facilitate in you healing yourself--CHOOSE to BE a PRESENT PARTICIPANT. Take full responsibility for ALL OF YOU!

I've experienced trying to care for people unwilling to take responsibility for their life and well-being and self-loving acceptance. And I've observed my husband and others in the healthcare profession (I include the maintenance people cleaning those toilets and keeping things sterile in those hospitals and clinics, along with the doctors, nurses and technicians) putting up with people who abuse themselves through alcohol, food, drug (prescription and non-), sex abuse, etc. all because they don't take ownership of their own lives. Hospitals are SUCKY, ENERGY-FEEDING frenzies!

If you're going in to have an exam done, or have a body or foot massage--whatever--BATHE YOURSELF FIRST. Walk into those places with GRATITUDE for your own life and for the people who've placed themselves there to facilitate your well-being.

And don't expect SOMEBODY ELSE to create a MIRACLE FOR YOU! Do it yourself--anything less is called energy sucking. People go to healthcare professionals expecting them to make them feel happy and healthy and loved--all the while, refusing to do it for themselves! (I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head a lot when I'm around such sick-acting attention-seekers). 

GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE!--it goes so much further than a poor, pitiful, misunderstood-me attitude.

The energies you carry into a place will make or break your experience there.

Some people have a tendency to be "sue-happy"--if they have a bad experience they want to blame someone else for it, and they get a lawyer to file a lawsuit. Then, not only do you have laws put in place that mercilessly, stupidly, and severely shackle health facilitators (most of whom are well-meaning individuals), you have astronomical insurance and healthcare rates and costs to match. And you have one big effing trauma-drama. I'm so sick of hearing about the healthcare debate and listening to businesses using it as an excuse to not hire full-time employees (a practice I experienced for years while working for various businesses long before "Obama-care" was even a thought). Just step out of the game--the belief system. The sleepers can fight to their content, but it need not affect you at all, if you so choose.

If it's in your life, you put there. If you have a disease--you chose to have the experience. Immerse yourself in it--explore the pain of it, BE FULLY PRESENT in the EXPERIENCING! It's the quickest way to not get stuck.

If you're obese (it just recently earned itself a place in the "DISEASE"category, which basically is the equivalent of saying, "You poor, POWERLESS, pitiful thing..."), you created that. And beating on yourself, going on guilt-trips over what you eat, indulging in cockamamie diets and brutal exercise routines, and blaming others for treating you insensitively because YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT WORTHY changes absolutely nothing. And if you have someone treating you insensitively, it's merely someone kindly playing the betrayer role for you so you can SEE HOW YOU ARE TREATING YOURSELF!

Do you view your life as a GIFT to you from an unconditionally-loving Source?--or as a BURDEN, where you have to prove yourself worthy of it by taking on the woes you've been taught are in the world? The answer will determine your experiences, and what kind of joy you get from them. (See: Life is a Gift, Not a Test).

You gave yourself the experience and if you're still struggling in that experience, then you're deriving some benefit from it. What is the benefit for you? No--don't shy away from the question. Running away from yourself heals nothing. Have the guts to answer the question honestly and self-compassionately, and you'll feel yourself taking a step out of that miserable prison. You are the only one who KNOWS WHAT the BENEFIT is! And the benefit doesn't have to have some altruistic reason or purpose behind it. You just simply chose to have an experience--that's what we're all doing here.

To sum up all of the above ranting:

PAIN--CHOOSE to IMMERSE YOURSELF in the experience of it, BE PRESENT in your body in it, and BREATHE it through and out of your being...so you can make room for the new. 

My sovereign friends--that is what an embodied self-master (Soul and Human integrated together in one) does, because we have new potentials to experience, but we have to get ourselves opened up so we can gracefully receive them...

Related Posts:
Discerning the Pity Trap

Napping while Awakening

"Pen, will you go wake Dad up? Dinner's ready."

Here in the upper Midwest, "dinner" is the meal we eat at noon. Dad often returned to the house in the late morning and would lie down for a nap while Mom fixed the meal. I always felt a sort of gentle reverence while waking him up from those naps. He was always on his back, in his socks, one goose-down pillow under his head, and the other draped over his eyes. All you could see were his nostrils and the rest of his lower face. He was so still and so quiet. I don't remember ever hearing him snore and could hardly hear him breathe. I'd touch him lightly on the arm or hands, and using my soft voice, I'd call him to consciousness, "Dad--dinner's ready." He'd murmur, "Yep." Then in a matter of a few seconds, his eyes would be open and up he'd get. I don't ever remember having to call him more than once.

Sometimes he napped after dinner instead, and would awaken a bit before 2:00 pm. Mom and I would be sitting in the living room, visiting, and I'd watch him walking down the hallway towards us, stopping to pull on each cowboy boot, adjusting his jeans leg over and down each boot. He'd gather his wild hair in one hand, smoothing it under, while placing his cap on top with the other. He'd be blinking his eyes, trying to focus and get more firmly settled in his body--all the while grinning a bit sheepishly while asking us if we were ready to go for coffee.

It's one of my most treasured memories.

Mom took short naps--about 15-20 minutes every afternoon. When I was little, she used to read me books, as a bribe to get me to take a nap afterwards, in order to get in a short, rejuvenating nap of her own.

While their napping styles were vastly different, they still had in common the fact that they took some SAFE and SACRED time ALONE each day to rest and rejuvenate themselves. They wouldn't have realized that was what they were doing. They were just taking a rest because they felt better afterwards. Neither one was someone you'd consider sickly. And though they died at ages 70 and 74, they'd lived full lives, and I feel like they left because they were ready to, regardless of how their deaths transpired.

Dad and Mom were pretty awakened individuals for the era in which they lived. They had a broader perspective on some things than some of their contemporaries--they were very compassionate and empathetic and unconditionally accepting in a lot of ways at that time. They were there to help out in a pinch, but they honored people living their own lives according to their free choice. Giving out advice or their opinion, when it wasn't solicited in the first place, wasn't their way, for the most part. Yes, Dad could be passionately outspoken about his interests, yet he wasn't one to force his ideas on a person. At least, that's the way I knew him. My older brothers and sister could probably have experienced him differently. I'm one of the youngest kids who benefited from my parents working out parenting issues on all my older siblings first.

Going beyond the old mindset and beliefs and perceptions is A LOT OF WORK, on levels people outside of you can't see, much less measure or compare. You have to be willing to accept that others are going to judge you and reject you--and you have to learn to not let it matter to you. You have to find ways to help yourself step back off the stage so you can just observe from the audience for a bit. The old dramas and traumas of the old consciousness game are SO SEDUCTIVE, you find yourself drawn into playing them just because it's habit, it's automatic, it's what you've known, and how you've played the game for so long.

From having pushed myself out of the old comfort zone to explore beyond the long-established belief systems in the mass consciousness of my own world and time, I know from experience the importance of ALLOWING ONESELF to REST, REJUVENATE and RE-BALANCE naturally.

Napping has been my saving grace through this entire transition.

It used to take me 2-3days of 2-hour minimum naps in the afternoon to recover from the exhaustion and body aches I'd experience after returning from visits to my old hometown. I often enjoyed myself during those visits, too. It was just that in returning home, all those old stories, old identity roles and belief systems originally planted in my childhood suddenly popped into beingness out of default habit. The old pressures of expectations I had of myself in the old days would swoop in for a last hurrah. It would be such a bombardment of energies--letting go of the old while practicing the new--that in feeling back to what it was like, it was like I was running on an adrenaline high all the while I was in my past stomping grounds. And then I'd return to my present home--a much more safe and sacred space--and I'd let the burdens drop at the door like my suitcase. I'd leave my body and mind for a bit, and nap.

It's good to disconnect from one's family and friends for a bit in order to get clear within oneself without being emotionally triggered and energetically burdened by old stories. My family is a bit unique in that we generally don't seek to get over-involved in our siblings' lives--we don't tell one another what we think the other should be doing. It's not that we don't care, it's more of an honoring one another in living their own life how they choose. Like the way Mom and Dad were with us. But with that said, delving into one's past is still lots of work, regardless of what your past was like.

I sleep differently when napping than when I do so at night. I'm on my back, like my dad, and I've learned not to cross my ankles or lace my fingers (it restricts blood circulation in those areas)--because I don't move. I evidently often leave my body while it re-balances and rejuvenates itself, because I'll lie there in one place, somewhere between asleep and awake, unable to move my limbs or open my eyes, I'm barely breathing. Right before awakening, I'll feel myself suddenly inhale a deep breath--like I'm sucking my spirit back into my body. It's a noticeable difference to my breathing state the rest of the time--and suddenly, I'm back in my body, able to move. My eyes might be glazed over for a bit, too, like Dad's were, until I've been up moving around awhile. And I always make a trip to the bathroom first thing. I also seem to snack on something to help ground myself a bit more firmly. How rested I feel depends on what's going on in my life.

When Steve Rother, of Lightworker.com, channels The Group, his wife, Barbara, helps him return back to his body at the end by kissing him on the top of his head. Staying in these weighted and dense, pain-feeling bodies--though I've heard having a body is one of the most sensual and highly sought-after experiences any being can have--can be challenging after having a bit of freedom from them. Though I don't channel the way Steve Rother does, I'm aware that I'm still doing a great deal of work in other dimensions when I appear to be napping here. In the old days, Edgar Cayce, and other unconscious channels like him, had someone who monitored his physical body while he was channeling. Not moving for long periods of time, and not being present in the body, takes a toll on a person's overall health.

My husband doesn't kiss me awake. He might tap me or lean over me in the night once in awhile, trying figure out if I'm breathing and still alive--ha! Nope, the service of helping me re-embody is kindly assumed by my cats--and they do an amazing job of it! Max used to lie stretched out on top of the length of my legs whenever I was down for a nap, and now Bella has taken his place. She lies on my shins or drapes her paws over my legs, touching me. Their warmth and loving touch gives me a reason to come back to my body--it grounds my energies after being away on my inter dimensional travels and helps me smile.

I wish I could say I was a ray of sunshine when I wake up, but I'm usually not. The mass consciousness energies in this earthly realm are not happy and smoothly-flowing, so they aren't easy to re-enter. And when I'm in dream-state between being almost here, but not yet fully in my body, my human mind tends to translate all that frustration and anger and human blindness of mass consciousness into feeling like it's all my own stuff--but it isn't. When you're awakening, you're naturally extra-sensitive to energies, regardless of whether they're yours or someone else's.

As for dreams and their meanings for me: I look back into how I was feeling in them and the thoughts I had as I observed and took part in the scenes. They are usually keys as to how I've been UN-consciously acting and reacting while seeming to be conscious in this reality landscape.

Humans have a tendency to not be present in their bodies--even when they're supposedly awake--because they haven't taken ownership of their lives. This is where dis-ease and the sexual energy virus in consciousness filters in. People challenged with obesity and cancer, take note. The more present you are in that body, the more you UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE and EMBRACE ALL of you, the quicker the disease symptoms will depart from your reality. The more present you are, the more balanced and harmonically-functioning your body is. When in pain, we have a tendency to leave them--which is fine to a point, but at some place along the way, if we want to stay living on the planet we have to re-enter, re-embody. Breathe yourself back in--allow your divinity/your soul to come into you, to make your bodies HOME/HEAVEN wherever you are.

I waffled for many years over whether I wanted to be alive here on earth anymore. Several times, I reminded myself I made the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay. And the more I practiced breathing myself through painful situations by staying put in my body, instead of leaving it for some other person to take care of for me, the more excited I became about sticking around for the experience of the whole transformation process into the new consciousness energy and a new physical body. A new physical body that more fittingly matches who I really am, rather than a karmic and ancestral conglomeration of biology. To have the opportunity to experience such a transformation without going through the old physical death process is exciting stuff to me.

In a nutshell--don't be afraid to rest. It's SO NOT BEING LAZY! This is an amazing and historic time to be here in a body on Earth. Plus, I've discovered so much about myself from my dreams. We're all capable of extra-ordinary things--things I once used to think of as miracles and abilities only really gifted and talented, extra-sensitive, and special individuals could do. 

The funny thing with all of this, though, is that I've realized we have ALL been doing these things all along--we just weren't aware of it, and so we haven't been sharing our experiences in these realms with one another. For a long time, I didn't have the words or the confidence in myself, and humans didn't even have the vocabulary, to explain these things to another. We've been stuck in the dramas of Little Human Puppet/Sinner Roles.

Don't be afraid to explore yourself and share these discoveries with others--it makes it easier and more fun for everyone. Being outside that box of old beliefs about oneself is an amazing and awesome experience. I smile more...once I'm awake and fully-embodied, that is.

Related Posts:
Physical Symptoms of My Awakening Self-Awareness, Part 1