Acceptance and Discernment vs.Trying to Justify Judgments

Every time I make a judgment
--good or bad--
I make my world LESS SAFE for ME to be in.

I've realized I don't need to try to justify the awful things humans do to themselves and others anymore. My simple acceptance changes my world.

I don't need to get into the details of why some commit the inhumane things they do. I KNOW they're just pretending to play a character role, and they've forgotten that they are more than that singular human being act they have going. They've forgotten that they're a sovereign consciousness having an experience of themselves.

And when I see those human atrocities and tragedies from this perspective, I know that this, my friends, is the place of pure acceptance--unconditional love and compassion. There is nothing for me to try to fix.

When I look at myself and anyone else around me as more than the roles they play as a human being--when I acknowledge this to myself and/or to them--then, for me, what we do, or don't do, doesn't matter anymore.

My acceptance releases them from being stuck in that role--but only for me. This is why any generally applied political policy or law will not work. You, alone, and the people with whom you're interacting with in the moment at hand are the only ones aware of the nuances of your interaction. Your personal energies are arranging themselves to manifest a reality that matches what your consciousness is radiating out as your truth in that specific moment.

Acceptance is simply acknowledging, "That IS a way to be. Thank you for the gift of wisdom I gained from that experience...period. (No judging about our being right or wrong, no expecting some god out there to justify our judgments of ourselves, or any other, as righteous)."

Acceptance does not judge. Acceptance neither condones nor condemns. Acceptance opens and flows....

I've long wrestled with trying to figure out the difference between discernment and judgment. I've heard so many people quoting their "Word of God Bible," using literal words in blatantly judgmental manners...and they call that discernment. They say they're leaving the judgment up to God--but, would an All-Loving god be judgmental at all? In Jesus's parable of the Prodigal Son, the character of the Father embraced his son and threw a feast at his return. There were no recriminations, no judgments--just a celebration at their being reunited.

Judgment says, "That's no way to be."....and....it manifests a prison--stops the energy flow and builds a construct, a barrier.

Discernment says, "That is a way to be...AND...I know there are other ways--other possibilities--and I'm open to allowing MYSELF to experience and perceive those as well." ....and....it allows the energies to continue flowing on through and by without creating a construct--aka, a reality to experience--until its master (you) chooses to play out a concept appealing to you....

I don't believe discernment forces itself upon anyone else, it doesn't play the power game--instead, it honors sovereignty, it honors freedom--for everyone.

I've read that sacred book of stories, and it says NOT to study the literal words, but to weigh things in with your own heart--and utilize and apply only that which resonates SOLELY--or SOULY--with YOU! In other words, trust yourself first and above all others outside of yourself. You're the only one living that life of yours, and you're the only one who knows what is the easiest and most graceful way of being for yourself. You're the one who actually lives with yourself.

And once you trust yourself, it's then easy to trust everyone outside of you--to allow them their own sovereignty over their own reality creations, their own life.

For me, acceptance is simply another word for unconditional, undistorted, pure LOVE! And that resonates with me!

Accepting All Aspects of Oneself

Integration means eventually accepting everything about yourself--all the roles the life expressions of your soul have played and all the thoughts and feelings you've ever had.

For me, that means getting to the place of realizing it didn't really ever matter what I did, or didn't do, or what I thought or felt. The gift of wisdom was gained from it all.

It was just an experience, and no one was really harmed in it. You know, like that disclaimer they attach to movies where animals are hurt or abused in the storyline--"No animals were actually harmed in the making of this film." I look at all the stories and dramas and traumas playing out around and within me, and that line now pops in quite frequently; and it helps me breathe and flow more easily and gracefully through the experience. I'm not stuck in situations for quite as long as I was in the past.

I think I always had a very human-based idea about how it would be to live the life of a master like Yeshua (aka Jesus) or Saint Germain. I thought it meant I would be a much more perfect human, and that, just with the snap of my fingers, life would go the way I wanted, or chose, it to.

But no, it doesn't. I'm still far from being a perfect specimen of a human being--and I realize I never will be. That perfection doesn't matter and is no longer a goal for me. I have really enjoyable moments and days, and I have some tough days, too. Sometimes my creations work out as I hoped, and most times, not--after all, I'm quite new to learning to live the life of embodied enlightenment.

No one can really teach me or increase my awareness--and I feel a tremendous joy in realizing that. I'm doing it, living it out my own way, and with my own time and space. I'm not in comparison or competition with anyone or anything else. This is my life.

I have multitudes of different lifetimes and aspects of my soul to integrate, patterns to release myself from. Many of those patterns and routines--traditions, even--are so automatic for me that I often don't realize I'm thinking it or doing it, until my little cyclical routine encounters a blip, big or small.

It helped to hear Adamus Saint-Germain (of crimsoncircle.com) tell us that he still had a life expression from thousands of years ago that he still needed to allow to integrate--and he's been an ascended master for many, many years. These aspects come in when they decide to come home, and no amount of cajoling and pressure by my human self is making them return any quicker--because they're free, you see, to be however as long as they choose. The master allows all of his/her creations absolute freedom of being.

These dreams...
For awhile, I knew I was dreaming at night and during my naps, but upon awakening I had no recollection of them. That's changed quite drastically the last few months. I'm having the recurring dreams of my past and the violent, ugly ones that I scream myself--and my husband--awake with. I'm also having the really bizarre ones that go on and on without making much sense to my limited human mind and perception. And then I have the occasional one where I feel so dirty, so ashamed of myself.

The Prostitute Dream:
Last week I awoke in the morning feeling both relieved that that nightmare I was just in was not my reality here, and feeling revolted by my actions and rationaliztions while in that dream world reality. 

I was a prostitute in that dream. For the measly amount of $16 total, I was serving a line-up of guys according to what they wanted me to do. I was absolutely repulsed by their demands and by my giving into them...and at the same time, it was a matter of honor for me to keep my agreement with them. I had to see it through...

The disgust I felt with myself stayed with me long after awakening, and the only way it--and the replaying of the awful scenes in my mind--dissipated was when I acknowledged what I was feeling and thinking while in the dream...and when I did that, then I remembered that I was integrating all these past life expressions and aspects into my soul. What better way to have that happen than during the night while in my "sleep state" in this reality?

It's much easier to let a dream go, to accept it as an illusion, thus, release myself from it. It's the stuff that I actually remember playing out in my past of this human lifetime that feels more sticky. Though, our past is simply illusion, too, unless we bring it into our NOW, which guilt and unresolved feelings around it have a tendency of doing. Acceptance truly allows resolution of anything.

All that I had to do, whether in dream state or what I think of as my "real" life, was accept that some part of me played a role that wasn't exactly noble or on the light side, and that ultimately it didn't really matter. It was just an experience--there was nothing wrong or right about it...period.

While my Judgmental, Limited Human Mind yelled, "That's NO WAY to be!", my I am self acceptingly said, "That IS a way to be. Thank you for playing that out for me. Thank you for the wisdom WE gained from our experience."

As the days have passed, I've realized more about the dream. The amount of $16 dollars is representative to me of the master number 44 (4 x 4 = 16). I also read a book several years back about the handful of common archetypal roles every human incarnates in with. One of those is the Victim, which I've found myself drawn to extensively write about in this blog. Another one is the Prostitute.

When I shared the gist of the dream with my brother, even he could relate to it, especially when applying it to how we humans conduct our personal lives and our business lives. The Prostitute is an influential role in pretty much every facet of a human's life, and will continue to affect humans as long as they're unaware of its existence.

We've been programmed to willingly prostitute ourselves in a form of slavery called a "job." Lately, I'm hearing the unawakened, highly generalized, refrain about "kids these days just don't want to work." It's stated generally by a workhorse personality whose identity (conditional acceptance of themselves) revolves around her/his job and how hard they work and how often their work ethic is taken for granted.

Have they considered that maybe these so-called kids have played the part of the conscientious worker in some other lifetime? That these young people of today are aware somewhere deep inside that life can be, and is, so much more than doing a job for someone else, than enslaving themselves to another being? Have they considered that maybe these young people aren't being lazy? That they're just aware of and open to new potentials of experience? This type of scenario would come about due to a rise in overall human consciousness...so maybe it should be celebrated?

Maybe many of these people have chosen to NOT BE A SLAVE to old mass consciousness expectations--and to do differently than the traditions of society is a COURAGEOUS endeavor. It's not for the faint of heart to decide to be and do differently. You get judged for being different. There is nothing wrong about the old or the new consciousness...and there is nothing right about either of them. They are all just various PATHS of EXPERIENCE.

The things we do to "earn a living"--the things we feel commited to do in order to honorably fulfill our part of an agreement with another party--well, let's just say they don't always feel so heroic--as graphically illustrated by my prostitute dream.

If you're willing to step back and look at it honestly, even the traditional marriage reflects the prostitute archetype. Even though I'm in a traditional marriage recognized by church and state, I would not get married that way ever again. Somedays I just want to burn the old paperwork because of its limitations that the two of us accepted. We don't need any other being refereeing or interfering in something that only the two of us are creating.

I trust the issue will resolve itself without me having to figure it all out or mess with any paperwork to undo something that was truly unwittingly done by the two of us in an old and limited consciousness. We got married because that's how we were raised, and we were afraid to rock the boat. We prostituted our own sovereignty in order to get the benefits of being recognized as a married couple.

I like and choose to be with my husband, and he with me, day by day and moment by moment... and still, I can feel into how it could be so much easier and more FREE to be able to be together or separate, to honor our individual paths without the paperwork and legal hassles of government and religious organizations being involved in an agreement between us two sovereign and awake people. Our relationship is our co-creation.

We don't have children. But marriage doesn't make a person a good parent. For me, a great parent is one who recognizes the child in their life as an equal being, with a life and passion all their own. Loving beings playing the role of parents set boundaries as needed in the moment and don't treat others as being better or lesser than themselves. So if children come from the union of two people, well, the sooner the two adults involved realize that the child they helped bring into incarnation is simply a sovereign being of their own right and not a piece of property for the parents to indoctrinate into their own way of thinking and to fight about and over, the better.

I digress. That last part popped in and raced off on another tangent. Obviously, I'm a bit passionate about it. Our relationships, intimate and otherwise, have the potential to be so much more enjoyable all the way around for everyone when we take a step back and open up our viewpoint to look at things in new, more FREEDOM HONORING ways. Just because something's been done a certain way for millenia doesn't mean it's fitting or even sane to continue doing now in this new consciousness. I'm ready for a change.

...and I'm receiving change. It's happening all around me and within me.

So my idea of mastery now is nothing compared to the expectations I had about what it would be like. Mastery simply means I'm aware that I'm the Creator of my experiences. I'm consciously living my own life now.

As a babe in the newness of the Master perspective, I'm sure to still have moments of finding myself seduced into playing some old situations out a few, even numerous more times, and...because of my expanded awareness, and with that, my ability to step back from the dramatic scene and see things more clearly, I'm able to flow it through my reality more easily and gracefully.

Even on days when I feel stuck in a situation, I KNOW I won't stay stuck for long anymore. I realize things just circle around to me over and over again until I've played it out and suddenly realize it doesn't really matter to me anymore...and with that realization--resolution!

In short, I'm finding I'm really not that hard to accept--not even my icky bits!

Pain Is an Illusion

"Pain is just an illusion, 
though it does really hurt like hell."
(Paraphrasing Adamus Saint-Germain)

According to Adamus, pain is a memory of a trauma stored in the cells of our body of consciousness. It's an illusion. It's the memory of a pattern in the way that space and time flows to and through us.

The wonder and miracle of the human avatar.

Our consciousness, our bodies never actually move. Our feet never actually touch the ground in a push-force movement when we walk. Yet, our body's intelligence and our five senses tell us that we have body parts--bone, tissue, organs, nerves and muscle that feel and interact with the world around us. It's so convincing that we really feel like we have bodies that need to breathe and pump blood, and that we can die if certain parts of us are traumatized to a certain extent that they can no longer function properly. We believe we exert effort and we are the ones who trudge through time and space. That is the beauty of the gift of this human body avatar. It FEELS so REAL!

As I wrote the above paragraph, I kept seeing clips from the actual movie, Avatar. It keeps popping into my mind as I'm experiencing myself going for walks. I notice more and I take less for granted--I'm more aware--when I imagine myself as being a human avatar. My body is the vehicle--or robot--that I use to experience this--my--reality world.

But we never move, and objects and other beings never actually move in our reality. Our own limbs don't move. Time and space flows through and around us in different patterns creating the objects and movements we perceive as our reality. We exert no effort, we just believe and feel like we do.

And we've been re-creating our world--pretty much the same type of situations over and over again--because of this foundational belief that we are little humans moving through a huge world. Time and space is stuck in a pattern of flow in service to our belief. It only becomes unstuck when we start choosing to shift our perspective around.

I've been out walking and enjoying this new perspective of time and space flowing to and through and around me, rather than me lugging and hauling a tired and sometimes run-down feeling body over hard terrain. Then I get home and the bottoms of my feet are sore, bordering on feeling blistered, and I experience sudden jolts of pain through my hip and legs. What was once an enjoyable excursion delighting in the pain-free length of my stride and a feeling of limitless energy shifted into a night of sleeplessness filled with hip pain followed by a morning of the same thing.

But it was another beautiful sunny day in March, so I couldn't resist taking another walk, even though the jolts were still there, though not quite as bad. When a hitch in my shortened stride hit, I chose to take a conscious breath with it and to remind myself it was just a cellular memory--an illusion--and I assured myself that there was nothing wrong with me. That there was nothing to fix.

There was nothing I needed to adjust--it was just a memory of a pattern of the flow of time and space based on a past experience that I had once judged as something that was wrong with me.

With that BREATH of remembrance that truly all is well with me and all of creation, the pain left--and I was able to enjoy my time pretending I was walking outside in nature without issue.

Emotional pain is an illusion, too.

A few posts back, I told about the fear I feel inside every time my husband leaves me, especially when he takes his motorcycle out for a ride. We had a 70 degree day in March this past Sunday, and he couldn't resist taking it out for a spin. I took myself out for a walk before he left in order to help myself look at the whole situation differently. It helped me to get out of the house--away from stewing and listening and waiting for him in the old manner.

I lost my first boyfriend in a motorcycle accident--that's a pretty traumatic cellular memory. It's a painful illusion that I've BEEN CHOOSING to haul around for decades. It was a living hell for me coming home to see my parents and siblings waiting out on the steps for me to get home from my night out with my cousin.

Yet, even as I screamed, a part of me observed myself acting the part. I knew I was acting. I drama-queened it. I was behaving "appropriately" for the circumstances.

It wasn't that I didn't care that he was gone, because that loss did hurt...and yet...a part of me still watched the whole thing play out like the movies. I felt a bit guilty about that sense of detachment, and I spent years punishing myself for simply authentically feeling that way about such a traumatic experience.

As I walked it through, seeing and feeling it from the perspective of it simply being a memory and an illusion that I could actually CHOOSE to let go of, the whole situation shifted for me. I was no longer "poor Penny."

I've always acknowledged that not everyone dies riding motorcyles or any of those other toys and vehicles people seem to love. This was something I've known all along, yet I kept inserting myself into that story the same way. I was literally choosing to continue the act I had going, so it stayed the same. When I look back, in a warped way, I was mentally trying to protect myself from feeling that pain again. My thoughts angrily jumped to having to deal with a ripped up body to bury and all the details of a life without him--always, I was questioning how I would handle it the next time around, heaven forbid.

Yet, all I had to do was to CHOOSE in one moment, to decide that I didn't have to make that my story anymore. I could choose to be FREE of it, and so I was! It was as simple as that. I let the story and my identifying with it go.

It's rather hard to find the words to convey this in a way you might be able to feel. It was just so simple and effortless--it only took that one moment of clarity to decide to let it go. My human mind was surprised. It almost couldn't believe it was so easy, and yet it was okay with me just quitting the issue. We'd had enough playtime with that story.

It was just an illusion--it was the memory of a past experience that I used as a tool to help shake myself awake from the hypnosis of believing I was an insignificant human puppet with someone else pulling my strings.

No one's pulling my strings anymore. I know I am the creator effortlessly creating my own reality--and I'm also aware that I'm the only one who can perceive it the way I do.

I'm the only one who can choose to change my perception of an experience.

Pain is just a cellular memory.

"Whenever you are able to accept 
whatever state you are in
without seeing it as wrong,
then you really have breakthroughs." (Lee Harris)

And so I did, and so it is...