There's a New Act in Town: Self-Sovereignty

Here's the deal: We've all played the Power Game roles involved with Survival of the Fittest. Ad Nauseum, for me. You have the good guys/gals vs. the bad, and always in the mix is a victim at the mercy of some villain or disease or addiction. 

It basically boils down to some fight or struggle with your outer world--and that's simply just a reflection of the struggle going on within you, created due to suggestions about life that you've made your own truths. 

We are all sovereign creators of our own life experiences. We have been all along. We just were unaware of that fact for eons of time here. And enough people awakened from the hypnosis around the same time that it pierced an opening in the Veil of Forgetting (aka, the Apocalypse) so that, for those who truly desire it, everyone has access to a conscious relationship with their own soul--their own divine self--while still in human form. No more need to search for god.

When I was growing up we played Cowboys and Indians--how could you not when John Wayne was on the movie screen, larger than life? We carried pop guns, and then BB guns when we were older--and it was drilled into us that you never pointed an actual gun at anyone, loaded or unloaded. 

Wayne's characters stood for all the goodness in the world, yet he played being a gruff, blunt man who spanked his wife (in McKlintock) and often drank too much. It was funny at the time, and funny now, but I have a feeling the PC Police these days would have someone in handcuffs for even writing up such a scene. We humans seriously need to laugh at ourselves more.

I appreciate the rise in the Divine Feminine in consciousness as much as the next person....and....rather than allowing it to balance out in partnership with the Divine Masculine, there are those who want to make women the rulers of the world--like women have all the answers and are the better gender. 

I'm sick of that bullshit. Women are not meant to do everything that men do better--nor vice versa. They each bring important values to the whole--it's why we have a two-lobed brain that works best when each half is doing what it does best. 

The latest transgender trend is appalling--promoting massive manipulation of hormones through chemical means, plus surgeries so awful it's mind boggling. Then top it off with doing it to children....

The whole point of parenting is to be an-all-accepting, boundary-setting guide until the child is fully rounded enough to live on their own, take responsibility for their own lives and make decisions from their own experiences and maturity and conscious awareness of themselves. Who the hell traumatizes their own, or any other child, with the emotionally, spiritually and physically drastic measures involved with gender reassignment? Why is this even an issue in human consciousness? It's bizarre....it's mentally insane....it's Dark Age-like torture....

As for the Indians--Native Americans--I always liked them, too. When we played "Let's Pretend," it didn't matter if I was the cowgirl or the Indian. I have some American Indian in my ancestry and have always been proud of that, along with being Finnish, English, Irish--maybe even some German and Mongolian. 

I also love having been born in America, a descendant of immigrants on both sides who lawfully came here and chose to get along with their neighbors from other places around the world. They learned to speak the common American English language in order to communicate with one another more clearly. They moved to this Self-sovereignty-founded country in order to simply live more freely and have more opportunity than they could in the countries from whence they came. Yes, there was fighting among the various cultures at first mostly because of fear of their differences, the unknown--but it gradually faded out. 

My grandfather, my mom's dad, emigrated from Finland when he was just 16 years old, worked the gold and copper mines, and through the Railroad Act, started a ranch out in the middle of nowhere with an extreme climate--no trees, just a couple of buttes called the Deer's Ears. My mom grew up in a two-room shack and started school at the age of three because her aunt was the teacher at the country school a quarter mile away. 

Anyhow--I got off on a tangent that evidently I had to get out of my system. The whole transgender, race, and social justice crap out in mass consciousness is truly "out there," and frankly, I'd like to see some new headlines and take part in some really interesting conversations rather than reading and hearing people spout out hatred and argument for argument's sake on social media. People often are saying things to one another on those platforms that they wouldn't have the heart to say, one-to-one, in person. It's just escalated yelling with nobody actually listening to what the other has to say.

There's a New Game in Town....

Dump all those troubled roles of being a victim of some god, villain, disaster, addiction or disease. Assume the role of being the master creator sovereign of every aspect of your own life--past, present and future. 

You can still dabble, if you choose to, in those old roles and stories that you're enjoying playing on some level yet....and....with the conscious awareness that you put it in your own life simply because you wanted to more sensually understand it, I can tell you from my own experiences, that life starts flowing more gracefully and with more gratitude for all the parts played, for me and by me. 

I no longer feel stuck in anything. I can be angry and happy and disgusted. I can play the fool and also be smart. I am free to pretty much feel how I authentically feel in the moment....and....because I KNOW I really am okay--we're all okay--life just flows....

I can change course or leave any story at any time....I am free and the sovereign creator of my own life.

I dare you to practice--not just try--it out....throw yourself into the role of acting out being the Sovereign Creator and Experiencer and Wiseperson of your own life--nobody else's. What have you got to lose if you're feeling miserable, and not liking it, in what you're currently play-acting out in the Old Game? Own your freedom to be--deep breaths in and deep breaths out-- regardless of what your outer world circumstances may be. Act out being the beginning- and end-all Soul ruler of You like your life depends on it....and....see how you like what unfolds....

Consciousness Explained: Once upon a time there was this duck....

 A duck walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and asks the bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender, shaking his head in derision replies, "No, ye daft bird! This is a bar! Your choices are beer, wine or liquor."

Disappointed, the duck leaves.

The next day he returns, waddles up to the bar, plops up on the stool and when the bartender asks, "What'll ya have?" The duck asks, "Got a gwape?"

The bartender gets really ticked off, "I told you, no, I don't serve grapes. Now, get the hell out of here, and if you come back here again asking for grapes I'm gonna grab a hammer and nail that beak of yours to the bar!"

The third day, the duck is back and on his usual perch. When the bartender asks, "What'll ya have? And it better not be grapes..." the Duck enquires, "Got a nail?"

Taken aback, the bartender concedes, "No."

"Got a hammer?"

"No."

"In that case," says the duck, "Got any gwapes?"

Ducks and consciousness and awakening

What if after a lifetime of waddling around quacking and flapping like a duck--and bored with the whole thing--in a sudden fit of rebellion you belly up to the bar and ask for a "gwape?" No processing, no additives, just a straight-up, simple piece of natural fruit straight off the vine. Juicy, delicious, satisfying all in itself....but to the world around you, it seems like you threw a wrench into the works.

In that single moment, a lightbulb turns on and you get this warm and tingly feeling spreading outward from your heart to the very tips of your head, fingers, toes and beyond...."I'm no duck!" you declare. "I may be ducky and all that, but I JUST KNOW I'm so much more than the old act I've had going of trying to be the best, brightest, biggest, most beautiful or handsome duck on this pond!"

And from that moment on, all that matters to you is discovering what that "more thing" is. You research the hell out of it, pay for all kinds of classes on the subject, and try practicing all kinds of rituals, rites and disciplines with other like-minded ducks. They are fun for a minute, because it's always a joy to know you're not all alone. But you never ever really arrive at the more you just knew you were. 

So, time passes as you try out all these tangents like:

Maybe I need to waddle my 10,000 steps a day a little faster, kneel more (not easy for a duck) and pray a lot.

Maybe I need to practice quacking these tones and hold these specific poses while I salute the Master Quacker/(fill in this blank with your latest authoritative deity). 

Maybe I should try out DA (Ducks Anonymous) and talk about what a disappointment I am and how I'll probably screw up again tomorrow if someone tempts me with a malt duck fizzy and I fall off the wagon and lose my badge of "30 Days Ducky."

Maybe I should go on a diet--give up fish and eat moss so I'm shinier. Am I shinier? I think I AM shinier....Just look at my golden bill!

Wow! I've got the answer! And now I can teach others how to be more using my method, which I'd better patent because I'll make a whole lot of bills helping others....

Why aren't all the "Atta-duck" pats on my back from the rest of the flock ever enough?

And one day it dawns, "Regardless of the pond size and whether I'm playing the role of  Lord-of-the-Pond Duck or Insignificant Peon Fish-Fetcher, I'm still a dam duck doing the same old things, just with a slightly different swim stroke."--You know the old adage: different strokes for different folks. 

So you give up, waddle around the pond a bit all by yourself, reflecting and reminiscing and sometimes bawling, sometimes laughing at your ducky antics....and coming to the realization  that maybe I need to just quit swimming upstream against the current and instead float, bob along with the ripples, go with the flow, take time to more sensually feel into myself and the world around me....yeah....I'll just enjoy myself and get serious about no longer taking myself so seriously.....

Sometimes I quack myself up....

That is consciousness and awakening and realization all summed up. I credit my brother, Steve, with this post. The duck joke was one of his favorites to tell. He crossed over the Veil back in 2016, so while I talk to him using my words, he communicates with me in a more subtle way. I can't even explain it really. I just know when he's in my awareness.

Anyway, Steve and I both experienced that awakening to whom we really are and we both tried out all the tangents in our search for that illusive-seeming god, who actually resides within every human being. It's all within you, me--that awareness that breathes "I exist! I am that I am!"

Assume your own soul and wisdom is right here within and with you in every breath in and out....and have a great laugh at all life as a duck has to offer....

The Final Death Throes of My Identity

Back in the early days, when Tobias was the ascended master being channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe (crimsoncircle.com), he told us we would eventually let go of our entire identity. An ascended master is simply a human who naturally awakened from his/her limited consciousness and realized the Divine souled being he truly was while he was still alive on Earth. Every souled being will have this realization at some point in one of their many lifetime sojourns of playing out being a limited human on planet Earth. Now that the Veil has been cracked open (The Apocalypse, March 22, 2023) there will be far more ascended masters than ever before in the history of the planet.

Tobias said that while releasing one's identity sounded simple and straightforward, we would each find that there were parts that were easier to toss away than others. That we'd find ourselves wanting to hang onto some things, but ultimately everything had to go.

That message resonated deeply with me, and right away, I began to try to get rid of my cumbersome-feeling human. I was so hard on her, as all the writing in this blog will attest to....

I'm sure Tobias also mentioned that releasing an entire identity, not to mention every identity and aspect my soul had created and ever played in and with, was a feat the human facet was not equipped or ever meant to do. That was the soul's and its wisdom's area of expertise. But you know, it's terrifying when you face the idea of having everything you believe yourself to be--especially the parts you love--being ripped away from you, even if it's your own soul doing it. 

So, I tried to head it off at the pass and rip off the Band Aid myself--be the one to throw it away first--in hopes that it wouldn't hurt as much as having someone or something else wrench it away. I tried to step back and to harden myself into not feeling hurt and vulnerable: "Get over it! Put on those big-girl panties, Pen! YOU KNOW you know better than to let it all get to you...."

We humans have been through a whole lot of sacrifice and struggle and pain these many lifetimes. It's not easy believing you're just a Little Human trying to survive in an often scary, sometimes awesome, sometimes cruel world. It's only natural to try to limit the amount of pain and suffering. It's only human to want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible....yet it's been decades....

It's Molting Season for me: I'm shedding the good and beautiful as well as the bad and ugly....

so I'm feeling both Blue and Golden....

These past few months since the Apocalypse I've been experiencing wincing waves of grief passing through me. I don't actually cry--sometimes I think that would help--but it's uncomfortable when it hits, and I find myself wanting to just lie down, sleep, and hide away from interacting with others.

I've noticed this grief hits even when I'm doing something I used to enjoy doing because in the past it helped me flow consciousness. This morning I was watering my flower gardens and looking at a lawn that was pretty much dormant already in the beginning of July, and I just felt overwhelmed with all the physical work surrounding something I used to love doing. Most of it looks just fine, but here and there some flower just shrivels up and dies, even after I move it or give it a little extra attention. 

I feel unshed tears and heart-deep sadness at the struggle of trying to maintain a healthy world of plants, trees and yard in the midst of drought, disease, and a cottonwood tree that just litters the lawn with dead-looking animal corpses of cotton that dry up whatever it comes in contact with even faster. I'm sick and tired of picking up the sticky crap from out of my beds and shrubs. It falls faster than I can pick it up. Before that, it was the stick-'ems from the trees budding out in the spring. Every year that stuff sticks to everything--my cats' paws, my feet....I'm still breathing, allowing and feeling through this wave of grief....

Actually, none of this is new story. It's the same old fight and struggle, just a different year. Only now I'm tired of fighting or messing about with all of it. All around me things are dying, and in a way, I am, too....I even feel and see it in my body....and it just doesn't matter....I give up....

And then there's the anger--most of it directed at myself for having allowed myself to be treated and ignored the way I was for so long, most likely for even more than this one lifetime. Let's face it, I was an oddity to the rest of the world around me. Many people pretty much felt safe with me because I was attuned to their feelings and I wasn't ever out to hurt anyone. Some others who had some larger protective egos didn't much like me, didn't know what to do with me, often sought to control me--and sometimes (actually, all too-often) I let them....

I let others plant all kinds of opinions and ideas with me that had me doubting myself at every turn....

So, yeah, I've had a whole lot of anger flowing to the surface lately, but it's okay--I'm okay because I'm no longer trying to handle it and keep it curbed. I let it flow through and away, allowing myself to finally authentically, sensually, hands-off experience it in my safe and sacred space of Me, My Soul and I....

"Just Breathe, Allow, Receive, Flow...."

BARF. How's that for an acronym? Ha! Those were the gems of wisdom Adamus St-Germain shared with us in the July, 2023 shoud of Crimson Circle. And I'm finding them a very helpful tool during this time....

Life is quiet and I'm grateful for that. I can't imagine going through this with anything more on my plate. I am finding myself less and less attached to being Penny and the roles I've been accustomed to playing: wife, sister, aunt, peace-keeper, caretaker, gardener, American, North Dakotan, problem-solver, to name a few. I'm not having to throw it away either. It's naturally fizzling out on its own, and I've noticed it goes better when I just stay out of the way. My only job is to experience it. How I am or what others might think of me no longer matters. It feels a lot like those last weeks with my dad when I realized it all was just a lot of stories I was tired of playing out anymore....

Lately I've been noticing I'm no longer defining myself as being any which way. That I don't even want to....I'm enjoying the freedom of finally just letting go and letting me BE, identity-free....

I don't have to be anything for anybody, not even me....  

From the Little Human In the Mirror To Embodied Master

I wasn't going to write anymore posts, but I've had a profoundly helpful realization for myself on the subject of releasing old stories, identity and physical issues. So I'm adding onto this past post.

To take the oomph out of all the blemishes and scars and out-of-balance and alignment issues I see when I look in the mirror, I realized I can just view my entire physical body as costuming and makeup that matches my old Little Human narrative of what, who and how I am. That's all it is--costuming and makeup. And my outer world is all props and scenery that match my Little Human stories as well. 

It's that Little Human who didn't remember that she's truly a divine being pretending to be a Little Human at the whim and mercy of a volatile and often hard-to-understand world where the rules seem to change on a dime, no matter how old and smart and wise you get. No matter how much you think you have it figured out and know how to navigate it. 

And with the AI technology things are changing faster than ever before--and for those of us who remember life without computers in our daily lives, it feels even more daunting and overwhelming at times. Sometimes I still question whether or not I want to stay--you know, there are those days and moments....And then I take a few good deep breaths and remember that I signed up to be here, and there was no way I was going to miss out on this epic time in the history of humanity on this beloved planet.

When I look into the mirror and see makeup and costuming, and props and scenery matching the narrative I have about what, who and how I am, what my circumstances are, then I realize I don't have to figure out how to fix any issues I don't like. I don't have to manipulate anything. I breathe easier. I'm relaxed....

As the source and creator center of my reality, I just change my narrative from that of being an unawakened Little Human victim of my world to being an embodied master. If it's in my life, I put it there, and I'm the only one that can release it from my life....And with that new emanation, my costume and makeup and props and scenery rearrange themselves to match that choice....no more futzing and dinking around with myself....

I am an embodied master....and I allow my energies--my experienced reality--to match that with every breath I breathe....