The Road to Enlightenment, Job, and the Prodigal Son

"On the road to enlightenment, I lost it all."

I don't think I've ever heard a more scary set of words. It had me wondering what next thing or being I held dear was going to be jerked away from me, whether by my own soul or by events outside of myself that I can't seem to change, no matter how open or relaxed I am throughout most of my day. No matter how much I allow myself to just be the imperfect human that I am without trying to change anything. No matter how I know, deep-down, that we're really all okay.

I am observing my identity as Penny, and her old connections to everyone and everything, literally crumbling away. While part of me understands and celebrates that that is exactly what should be happening, the other part--the weary and wary human vessel who's lost so much already along this path--is still feeling a bit scared of the next shoe dropping. It's been a long and hellish haul, interspersed with little bits of heaven and a whole lot of hope. And reminders to myself to return to myself and remember that it's all working out, that we're all okay, no matter what happens in this human realm of experiences galore.

Two stories in the Christian bible have deeply resonated with me throughout this self-realization journey: The Old Testament story of Job, and the New Testament parable delivered by Jesus/Yeshua--The Prodigal Son. They are both stories about a beloved son of "God"/The Eternal One who lost it all on their own paths to enlightenment. And their losing it all stories have been horror stories to me--but I've been hanging onto the outcomes of both for dear life! Everything they'd lost was restored to them in the end. I also recognized the greater appreciation they must have felt for everything because they'd experienced the loss of something that they probably took for granted as always being there.

This morning, as I'm downing the last of my cappuccino, it struck me that I've been viewing these stories from the perspective of a human life and all that we lose as we grow from infant to however old we are when we cross over to the other side of the veil. I haven't been grasping that the truest and greatest loss of all of any being is to lose sight of one's own divinity--your own soul, that "I am that I am" self. 

To forget who you really are and believe that all you are is a singular Little Human with a "this is who and how I am and what I do" identity. Talk about being locked in a prison and having the key thrown away lifetime after lifetime of incarnating as an experiencer for your soul. We are all here experiencing out of love for our souls, and for each other.

Every single human is already a Job--we lost remembrance of who we were the moment we were born. Same as the prodigal son. The human incarnation is the road to enlightenment or self-realization. Or to put it more simply, it's the road to wisdom and the understanding of how our own individual field of energies serves us--a singular pinpoint of awareness--that part within each of us that realizes "I exist." And it happens by us forgetting who we really are and thinking we're just these little human beings trying to survive in a daunting and often cruel world of loss after loss after loss.

What am I getting at here? It's a pretty subtle shift in perspective, so subtle that I'm still feeling into it as I'm writing this down. What it means for me, though, is that I no longer have to worry about the next shoe dropping on me to squash me and my hopes and dreams to smithereens. It seems to be dissolving that niggling fear away: I don't have to be afraid of losing anymore. I'm not on that journey to enlightenment anymore. I arrived a very long time ago....

On my road to enlightenment, I did lose it all--the moment I was born and began forgetting who I truly am....

And now I am in the restoration phase....I'm not losing anymore....

I am re-membering....

I am finally done anticipating the next drop of that mean old shoe....

P.S. I am fully aware that my perspectives on life and death could easily turn out to be a bunch of blarney and BS....and....I'm totally okay with that, because by looking deeper and seeing the best in myself and everyone and everything else (regardless of the act being played out in front of me)--I more freely, peacefully, gratefully and abundantly live right here, right now....

Thank you All for helping me decorate my soul....

The Key to Using the "I never did anything wrong" Tool

 One short thought here:

None of us ever truly did anything wrong, even though we humans have done such evil atrocities to each other throughout the ages. They were all temporary experiences done by a lost and terrified, trying-to-survive Human costume who had no idea of his own creatorship or sovereignty. It didn't even perceive its own soul.

Our human aspect was the Experiencer for our soul's understanding of itself. It sacrificed itself over and over, sometimes doing things that cannot, nor should be, justified.

"So, if all the bad things I did can't be justified and excused away how can you say I never did anything wrong?"

From the Eternal soul's broad standpoint, it was all just experience created by brave and loving angels pretending to be Little Humans, and playing out different scenarios and roles together. Death is not real. Energy stealing is not real. 

Admit and Release

While you can mentally begin to grasp this concept, on the other hand, within the emotional and physical level of your being, you are still feeling guilty and ashamed. 

And no amount of trying to tell yourself otherwise will get you out of that loop of FEELING of wrongdoing until you admit TO YOURSELF that you did something wrong. 

That is the key: Admit to yourself that you did something wrong.

That opens the door for your own Wisdom and Soul to come in and help you release permanently all that pain and guilt and anguish you carry around.

Admit your feelings of guilt and sadness and shame over your own perceived wrongdoings...and that will truly set you free.

That, my beloved brothers and sisters, is what happened with me all those years ago as I was washing dishes and asking the god within me why I was having such difficulty with judging others when I was trying so hard not to. My soul's wisdom came forth and told me it loved me always and in all my ways.

"Well, what about this time? I really am so ashamed of myself. I wish I could have a do-over so I would never have made the choice to do it in the first place."

"Penny, I loved you even then. Tell me more of the things you feel guilty about."

"This one is when I REALLY screwed up. I just want to curl up and die. God! How could I have done this?"

"Yes--even then I still loved you. I love you, Penny--always. In all your ways. Unconditionally accept and let yourself love you as I do first, and then everyone and everything else in your world is easy to love. All judgment disappears."

And with that conversation with my own soul within, my world began to fall apart and begin anew...all because I had the courage to go within and to quit running away from myself and some truly hard truths. 

Open up your own conversation with your own god within, allow yourself to admit to being the imperfect human that you are, and set yourself free...

"I did it. I put it there. Why?": Going Beyond Having Done Something Wrong To Deserve Pain and Trauma

 "I must have done something absolutely wrong to deserve this..."

I have a sense, based in my own experience, that most humans who get diagnosed with an awful illness or who suffer some sort of traumatic and painful loss in their lives believe deep-down in their gut that they did something wrong and that some god out there is punishing them for it through their current situation. And often if it's a diagnosis that seems to have no cure currently available, then one's own physicians have a tendency to reflect back an idea that "this is a permanent thing and you're just going to have to get realistic about it."

I beg to whole-heartedly differ. There is no way out of that jail cell if you perceive your life with that perspective. You may as well save yourself a whole lot of suffering and just lay down and die right there.

"If it's in my life, I put it there, and I'm getting some benefit from it being there...and...I am the only one who can un-create it." 

What is this experience's service to me? Why would I do this to myself? What do I believe I did wrong to deserve this? What is my greater good in allowing myself to go through this temporary experience? Scary questions to ask oneself...and...hugely empowering and a game-changer if you dare to be so bold.

"I didn't do anything wrong--ever--not really."

Now, the human part of you is going to have trouble with this one--I did, many times over--so you're going to have to practice over and over again allowing this to be viewed from your Soul's perspective. Step off the human stage for a moment and close your eyes and take a few good deep-down breaths and feel into this: 

Imagine yourself in the audience, with a clearer and broader view of the entire scenario  than that performing actor has in his little spot in the play. Imagine that everything in your life has been your soul playing Let's Pretend I'm a Little Human.

"I exist!! I am THAT, I am! ...and...I am that, too...and that..."

The Soul/Your Divine Self delights in you, its human actor--The experiencer--because it's through the human self that a single pinpoint of consciousness awareness gets to understand who it is and to experience all its creations. The human experiences are then distilled into wisdom--a compassionate wisdom--by the Master self and that is gifted back to the Soul. 

Everything--all of this thing called life is just an act of consciousness.

You are a gift to your Soul. Period. It doesn't judge you. You judge you, my beloved human, and that's what is attracting these limitations--diseases and traumas--to your life. I am hoping that by presenting you with a perspective that unburdens you of any guilt and shame that you, too, will go beyond all the suffering and into a new lease on, and appreciation of, your own life.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?"

Guilt isn't the only reason we humans put ourselves through trauma and disease. Sometimes our own souls put ourselves through challenging experiences in order to shake us awake out of the human mental dream stream in order to realize that we're something more and far grander than the Little Human being that we thought we were.

For example, I had my first boyfriend die in a motorcycle accident. Yes, I did--I put it there. I know it shifted my entire outlook on life. Yes, I felt guilty for nearly three decades believing I had done something wrong to deserve losing him--that I'd taken him for granted. I felt as though some god out there grabbed me by the back of the neck and shoved my face into the gravel, grinding the stones into my flesh--all because I wasn't doing something right or good enough.  I feelingly believed I was this sinning little human who needed discipline and guidance from someone other than myself. And the more I blamed and fell out of trust with my inner self, the further I got away from the real me, the worse my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual experiences. 

I created a whole lot of pain and suffering for myself. Some of it was my soul shaking me awake, and some of it was so I could relate to other divine souls who'd been lost in their human identities and stories of suffering, too.

As awful as all that was, it also drove me deeper within myself. I became more aware of myself, and I started asking questions that I'd never thought to ask before.

One of the greatest gifts I've ever given myself came from that dark night of the soul experience of losing someone so dear to me. I made a clear and conscious choice to make sure that everyone dear to me in my life knew, without any doubt, that I loved them, regardless of whether I agreed or disagreed with them in our last moments in one another's company.

I also found myself in such a state of self-doubt and distrust in my ability to make sound decisions that, well, it brought on a whole new slew of issues and experiences surrounding self-limitation, self-monitoring, self-control. I was afraid to ask for anything I truly wanted for fear of it being selfish and wrong--and oofta!--what a tangled web I wove from there on. I gave the responsibility for living my own life to "others" outside of me. 

This entire blog is pretty much my realization of how I got what I got in life when I was coming from a very limited perception of who I was, and how I was completely unaware of making choices that manifested as difficulties...until I just NATURALLY woke up in those last weeks with my dad as he crossed over to the other side of the veil. 

All the human stuff--relationships, finances, education, work, business, politics, even religion--I discovered none of it really mattered to me when it was all said and done. All that mattered was the LOVE and the GRATITUDE I felt for everyone who touched my life, regardless of whether it was in a dark or a light way. I began to slowly, but surely, take my own freedom and sovereignty over my own life back.

It took time. It took unrelenting self-forgiveness for everything I believed I had done wrong which ultimately transformed into the compassionate gratitude of my soul for ALL the parts and roles I played, and that everyone--the energies all around and within me in service specifically to me--played and pretended to be for me.

Four days ago, as the idea of writing this post was first fomenting in my heart and thoughts, I let my kitties outside to enjoy the sunshine throughout the day. I act as their doorman--letting them in and out as they wish, occasionally going outside to see that they are staying put, and playing with them a bit. We have a good-sized back yard that's fenced in, but there are holes that critters can slip through and under in some places, and most of our neighbors have dogs. 

A couple weeks ago, I had let Gracie out, and was just going out the back door to check on her when I decided to go out the front door instead to mail a letter first. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to see her looking in at me from the front steps! She plays with a squirrel and she's been hanging out along the base of the fence line, poking her nose into the neighbor's yard. Evidently, she poked her entire body through that day and found herself out front. And that's a big treat for a cat who isn't usually allowed to roam about up there...and of course, she did it again even though I thought I'd plugged up the holes.

This past Tuesday was a particularly lovely and sunny day in January, so I was encouraging my cats to get outside and get the most from it. I was just about to lock up the back garage door for the day, when Tiff decided she wanted out once more, so I let her out, and Gracie followed suit. I had a twinge of hesitation at letting Gracie out again, but shook it off. A few minutes later, Tiff came in, but there was no sign of Gracie yet. 

After a few checks and calls from the door to see if she was ready to come in, I finally took a tour around the yard, looking in her favorite hidey holes, all to discover there was no Gracie to be found anywhere in our back yard. I peeked over and through fences and I called and called--but no sign of my Gift of Gracie--only the neighbors' dogs. Suddenly there seemed like an awful lot of dogs--all of whom I love, too. They just weren't my Gracie, and I wasn't sure how an interaction between them and her would turn out. You know how easily fear of the worst scenarios can slip into your mind when change from the routine happens.

I finally quit searching, turned on the Lighthouse lights, and kept myself open for her to come home to me.

It wasn't until my husband returned home later than usual from work and three and a half hours of combing the neighborhood calling for her as it grew darker and colder that we finally quit searching and turned all the outdoor lights on. Neither of us was hungry, but I started putting some supper together just to keep myself occupied, and I checked the back door for the umpteenth time to finally see our beloved cat reaching up to the handle of the back screen door, wanting in.

Now, I know other people let their cats come and go all the time without worry or thought, but we've tried to keep our cats in our own yards out of respect for our neighbors and for our own peace of mind. And these cats are as dear to us as human children would be--to lose them is to lose a true family member.

All the while Gracie was gone, I was aware of choosing to not berate or blame myself for having let her out. I wasn't even angry with her--different from how I'd been previously through the years of having cats. I kept reminding myself to not get all upset and jump to the worst possible outcomes, even though it felt like we had a lot of dogs out in the neighborhood. Our Molly cat had been viciously mauled by a stray dog right in front of me several years ago. I kept feeling into and telling myself to stay open (instead of defensive), and to let my friendly energies serve me with ease and grace and joy in being. 

Something my husband said made me state out loud, "I put this here for a reason. It's in my life. I put it here. Why would I do that?" And that realization shifted something in me and kept me open to what felt like a miracle at her safe return.

A couple years ago, Adamus Saint-Germain (crimsoncircle.com) had encouraged us to come up with a personal word or gesture to remind us to keep our field of energy open as a practice throughout the day. He said that by doing so, even something that felt like an attack would disperse and neutralize before it hit us. 

He also said that with an awakened unlimited conscious awareness that we couldn't make "wrong" choices--that even those would right themselves. That was one of the concepts I realized when I still let Gracie go outside and disregarded that intuitive hesitation to keep her in. It felt pretty uncertain and scary for a bit, but it did right itself. 

I really didn't do anything wrong, and neither did Gracie...we had an experience together...and it turned out to be an enlightening and freeing experience for me.

I have a feeling I put that entire experience in my life so I would include it in this post. I'm certain of it. People can encourage and tell me all kinds of valuable life-easing tidbits--but I'm more likely to take them in and actually utilize them for myself when I hear or read it applied in a story.

Stop saying "My fill in the blank with a disease."

I feel myself inwardly cringe anytime I hear someone claim an illness as their own. For instance, calling something "my breast cancer." It has a feeling of permanence to the statement when you claim it as something you own. But close your eyes and feel into it for yourself. State it two different ways. 

"This is my chosen treatment for 'my cancer.'"

"This is my chosen treatment for my experience of cancer."--experiences can be temporary, a sensual exploration of what it can be like to be limited in a certain way. 

It's all in what we radiate out into our worlds--our perspective. 

Relaxed openness, or limitation and defensiveness. Is your universe full of friendly energies in service to you, or do you have to fight to survive and get what you need? Is it you against your world? Are there no miracles in your world, or is everything in your world a miracle?

I think all of us came here at this time to put much-needed Lights of Love and Clarity in dark places where humans feel so stuck, to bring about different outcomes than those of the past...

Much love, my dear friends. Your conditions don't have to be permanent or even what you die from. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve any type of punishment from a god or anyone else--you've just been asleep in the Little Human dream, doing the best you knew how. 

Maybe you even gave up at times and gave others the dark acts they seemed to expect from you--but that wasn't the real you. Use that insight gained from all the darkness experienced for the wise compassion you can now extend out to others in your world. That evil act or two was just a knee-jerk I'm just a Little Insignificant Human reaction. You are well-placed to shine a light of inspiration into your world on that subject. 

There is such creative goodness and light in you--just open yourself up to the idea it's there, and you won't be disappointed.

Boosting Your Immune Systems During CO-VID, Flu, and Cold Season

Rather than just reacting to getting sick, how about changing perspective and taking action to give yourself support before contracting any virus or disease? And if you're in the midst of it or you've already had the virus, help build your immunity and strength back up?

For starters, get back into your own body and become aware of what is happening within you. Lie back, close your eyes, take a few good deep breaths into your diaphragm below your lower rib cage: Inhale through your nose (1,2,3,4). Hold the breath in the diaphragm (1,2,3,4). Exhale the breath out through your mouth (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8). 

Now, feel into your heartbeat and keep gently breathing. Then do a body scan, and if you notice any points of pain or tense muscles, place your awareness there. Take another deep breath, remind yourself, "I'm okay," while you explore and feel into the tension and describe the pain to yourself like you're researching it. Diving into fully experiencing the pain this way helps me shift out of the fear of it and the mental-emotional trigger of it. All of this will help you get relaxed, and the more relaxed you are, the less the fear, the less the pain. If you cry, that's good, because tears help you release toxins--just be sure to hydrate yourself.

Sometimes I've needed some pain medication or therapy to help lessen the severity of the spasms so I could relax enough to do this. I've even resorted to using a cough syrup once when I had the flu a few years back--it was settling in my chest and was so painful even steaming myself and all my other alternative remedies weren't relieving it.

Always stay hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids.

The Body Pendulum: 

I use the body pendulum while standing upright. For those who are accustomed to using a crystal as a pendulum, this is the same thing. You just don't need a tool to carry around because the tool is you!

The body pendulum is a simple tool I use to ask my body and inner awareness or intuition yes or no questions to help me discern if certain foods, medicines, items are something that are supportive to what I'm looking for in that specific moment. 

I hold the object to my heart area with both hands, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and ask, "Is this right for me?"

If I lean forward towards the item, onto my toes or balls of my feet it means YES.

If I rock backwards onto my heels it means NO, not at this time.

If I don't lean at all, that means it's NEUTRAL, and won't matter either way.

Using Vitamin C to Boost Your Immune System

Vitamin C is a fat-soluble vitamin. You need to take it with fat in order for it to be absorbed and utilized by your body. Otherwise you just pee it out without getting its benefits. So take it with your meals. I grew up taking Shaklee vitamin C and other supplements because my parents were determined to keep us healthy and balanced--there were eight of us kids--and prevention was cheaper than doctoring.

Vitamin D and Sunlight

I walk outdoors quite a bit, and I don't like sunglasses so I get plenty of vitamin D by absorbing it through my eyes. But there are people in these northern, cold-weather climates who aren't out enough for this, and so find a D supplement is helpful. You need to determine whether it's something for you or not--use your own intuition, ask your doctor, ask a pharmacist. Your answer will come to you--just ask the question.

Zinc

One of the common symptoms of CO-VID is loss of taste or smell. I lost my sense of taste with a flu/cold virus back in 2017/18. Many homeopathic cold remedies have zinc in them, and sometimes people getting the corona virus feel like they are just getting a cold. 

They've discovered that zinc helps patients restore their senses of taste and smell. 

 Lemon Slices (with the zest) and Honey in Hot Water

I've discovered that a slice of lemon with 1/2 teaspoon honey placed in an already boiling cup of water helps me clear my sinuses and lessen coughs. Don't microwave your lemon and honey--put it in the water afterwards. Straight lemon juice in water doesn't agree with my stomach, but if I use a real lemon slice, the yellow zest on the peeling seems to alkalinize it so it's easy for me to ingest. Honey has natural anti-bacterial properties, too. And, most importantly--it's a rather tasty and comforting drink, as well.

The 16-17 Hour Fast

I don't resonate with all these diets. They tend to be a fad, sell us a little something, work for a limited time, and then we fall back into our old habits and put on even more weight.

While in my consciousness awareness it resonates that I should eventually be able to eat or drink most anything without consequence, my biological body and mind are still in a denser state and are trying to keep up with this awareness. Also, as my awareness has heightened, my incoming free energy or light body is highly sensitive to the dense mass consciousness, so I have allergic reactions and symptoms like I never used to have. So, it's been my experience that I can push myself too hard into the new, and hurt myself in the process. I put on some weight, especially around my stomach, and no amount of exercise and eating such and such made much difference.

A month ago, a friend told me about seeing a video on how beneficial it was to just quit eating by a certain time of the evening and allowing our natural circadian rhythms to do their thing. I asked my husband to try it with me because I cook for both of us. We quit eating after 8:00 P.M. and, other than our morning cappuccino, generally don't eat again until noon the next day. We're both sleeping better and my clothes are fitting me much better. We eat homecooked meals and I bake us sweets for our afternoon coffee or for an evening dessert, and make sure we mix in some fresh fruits and vegetables--and we order out for fast food probably once a week because I like French fries. But we're eating less and stopping by 8:00. 

As with all things--we use this as a general guideline, not a written-in-stone law, and it's helping at this particular moment.

Stretch-sitting and Glidewalking

Walking in nature is one of my favorite and most self-balancing and centering activities, but as my spine was making adjustments out of an ancestral pattern of scoliosis, the pain limited my ability to walk with any sense of joy in the process. A couple years ago, a disc in my lower back bulged and I crawled around on my bed for 7 days and nights straight without sleep. A very compassionate chiropractor helped me get some relief along with using ibuprofen/Advil. But I realized I needed to strengthen my back and abdominal muscles--get myself moving again.

My sister told me to google Esther Gokhale and primal posture. She has videos all over YouTube and a book out with all the exercises. It was my saving grace. She teaches Stretch-Sitting which helps lengthen the space between vertebrae, and acts like putting oneself in traction while sitting. Glidewalking is a natural and elegant form of walking that uses the gluteus muscles meant to be used for the purpose of walking and running. I now walk, sleep and sit without pain. I do both practices all the time, and my physical endurance has noticeably increased. I even shovel snow and garden and lift without injuring myself. 

Sea-salt or Epsom Salt Water Baths

Our bodies are mostly salt-water--just like our Earth and its oceans--and sea-salt water baths help us clear and balance our energies also. Water and salt water help to keep consciousness and energies flowing.

Bathe in salt water, as it both helps to clear toxins and balance your electrolytes.  

Drink water to keep yourself hydrated. Gallons of it isn't necessary, just make a point to sip on it throughout the day. I drink a few ounces upon awakening each morning, and I do a few ounces right before bed, as it helps my organs to function more smoothly. 

In the past, when coming out of a flu or cold, I have intuitively felt like I'd reached a saturation point with drinking just plain water or even the lemon water. I instinctively wanted something salty to help balance it out. Use your own inner awareness with your body to guide you.

Apple Cider Vinegar and Water Footbaths

Our cat had urinary tract infections, and because I hated taking her to a vet and trying to get her to swallow the antibiotics, I decided to look up a holistic alternative. Turned out, it broke down the crystals which caused the infection. For both cats and dogs, they recommended either parting the fur at the nape of neck and squirting in a dose, or dipping both front paws in a solution of 1/2 c. Raw Apple Cider Vinegar and 1/2 c. Distilled Water 3-4 times a day for about 3 days or until symptoms are gone. Mix it up and store in the refrigerator.

The skin is the largest organ so we can absorb medications through it that our digestive tracts find hard to ingest. Vinegar, for all its benefits, didn't agree with my stomach.

I started keeping a squeeze bottle in the fridge to squirt a small amount into my palm and rub into my hands when out gardening or doing something that dried out my hands--it soothed and smoothed rough skin like no amount of lotion seemed to do. 

My husband and I both soak our feet in a bucket filled with enough warm tap water to cover our toes and a cup of apple cider vinegar. It takes care of toenail fungus and rough feet.

These are just a few ideas that have come my way that I've found useful. Hopefully, they may help some of you. I've always had the best outcomes after realizing that I was responsible for my own life and well-being and deciding to take care of myself. 

Don't take my word for any of it, feel into it, see if it resonates. Try out the body pendulum. You are your best guide.

Much love, everyone!

Being Present with Loved Ones in Isolation and ICU

Someone very dear to me has someone very dear to her in ICU with CO-VID, and it's because of a conversation with her that I've felt nudged to share a few ideas and perspectives that helped me out when two of my beloved brothers and a very dear sister-in-law, on separate occasions, ended up in ICU in the past. One of them, Steve, crossed over, and my other brother, survived Guillain-Barre Syndrome and endured an incredibly long hospital stay. My sister-in-law was in hospital for several months also with a rare form of lymphoma. All of them had touch-and-go moments. 

And it's tough on the families and loved ones watching them go through it--hours and hours spent in hospital waiting rooms or beside beds with the person who's sick connected to all kinds of machinery--tubes down their throats, respirators and IVs. It all turns into an exhausted blur of just trying to survive, moment by long-drawn-out moment. And your heart aches...

And, have you noticed how the energies of hospitals feel heavy the moment you walk in the doors? And they get heavier still when you go to the ICU floor? We took the elevator up a few floors to see our brother, and even my sister commented, unsolicited by me, on the heaviness of  the area of the ICU in relationship to the other hospital floors. It's noticeable when you feel into it.

Rather than sit in those dreadful energies of hospitals, I encouraged some of my nephews and nieces who lived some distance from the hospitals to return to their own homes and families, and to continue to go about their days--that they could do that and still be an energetic and conscious presence with their dad--a light of love and compassion and grace.

We are multi-dimensional beings, and can be consciously present in many places at the same time. It doesn't matter where our physical bodies happen to be. In fact, I was channeling the wishes of my brother, Steve, while here in my own home, one hundred miles away. I was clearer, more present and balanced with them, whether here at home or on my quiet drives to the hospital than I was when I was physically with them in the hospital. I'd walk into those rooms with all that machinery hooked up to them and fall apart into a blubbering idiot when I tried talking with them, or I'd feel myself shut down and shrink into a ball of survival mode. Just endure it.

With that said, my heart goes out to all of you who've endured those hospital stays--whether as a patient or a visitor. And this year of 2020 with the CO-VID virus--due to isolation--so many have not been able to physically be with their loved ones in the most critical of moments.

That's why I'm offering this perspective to feel into for yourself--see if it resonates.

Dreamwalking isn't only for escorting loved ones who've died to the other side. You can dreamwalk a birth into new life. You can dreamwalk to other times--past and future. You can dreamwalk with someone isolated in a hospital bed.

You can dreamwalk with your loved ones, no matter where any of you are physically. Just be an agenda-free all-loving, all-grateful presence walking beside your loved one. No talking, no directing--just be.

You probably are already doing it and not realizing it. For me, I recognize it's happening now when I suddenly can hardly keep my eyes open and feel a need to lie down and nap. I'm usually out for a couple hours, and it takes a bit of time to feel fully embodied afterwards--kind of groggy and not quite all here yet. I'm dreaming, but often I don't recall anything upon awakening. 

Even if that happens, just trust that on some level of consciousness you're connecting--it's often hard to bring that awareness back into this dense earth level. Trust your own loving and compassionate intentions, and it will be so.

Steve and I made a choice to connect with each other in a different realm back in 2006. It actually happened. We did it while asleep in different rooms one night. In my dream I was cheering that we'd done it, and made a note to myself to be sure to remember it and bring it up to Steve in the morning. I forgot it, and then suddenly remembered it, but Steve didn't remember a thing. The only way he knew he'd been travelling in other realms was he woke up dizzy and nauseated, which was a common occurrence for him when he dreamwalked. People he'd visited would remember him, but he wouldn't recall anything. He'd just awaken off-kilter.

My sister and I were definitely dreamwalking with our dad weeks before his death. I'm guessing other family members were, too, though I haven't discussed the idea with them. 

You don't necessarily have to nap and get horizontal to choose to energetically be with someone.

As you go about your daily tasks, stop a moment here and there, take deep calming breaths and talk with your loved ones.

You may find you're coming from a place of more clarity and acceptance and gratitude when you're calm and more relaxed and in your own safe and sacred space of home. I feel I'm doing everyone in my world--my loved ones and their caregivers--more good when I'm radiating that out rather than anxiety and worry and guilt.

Much love, my friends. You're not alone. I'm here with you in love and gratitude for the gift you each are to me--no matter where our bodies are physically.

Trust Yourself First and Foremost

The answer lies within you,

I found it here in me!

How much more must we endure before we're all FREE?

Spend a little time alone with yourself. Go inside, feel into the love and compassion and wisdom that's all YOU! Those dark little guilty secrets you shy away from--lie back, close your eyes and take some good deep into your diaphragm (lower rib cage) breaths to get yourself relaxed. Open your energy field wide and feel into and explore those emotional and physical pains. Beneath every single one is a bright and shining gem of compassionate wisdom gained all because an unbelievably brave soul in a human costume forgot who she/he was and dived into experiencing her own creation out of love for all that is.

The old consciousness power players are having their last hurrah. They know they are on their way out--there is too much light and awareness in the world for them to stay hidden in shadow anymore. They've had their era, done their service for humanity through the extremes of duality that we all experienced. All that was kept in secret is rising to the surface for release and healing. It takes being deeply asleep and unaware of who one truly is in order to do dastardly deeds here. I send them all mercy and grace as their own karma will quickly address whatever harm they put forth.

I shudder at the idea of people placing all their trust in externals like "fact checkers" and biased news and censoring social media. It all seems intent on keeping everyone fighting with friends and loved ones--destroying our nation from within. It's such a blatant effort at freedom limitation and mass control that I just have to shake my head that it's lasted as long as it has. It shows me how programmed we humans have been to stay in the box and not question the status quo.

I also don't like pity and victimhood being used as a motivator to get people to behave according to some convoluted idea of what's right and what's wrong. Anyone using pity is asleep yet and they are having nightmares.

In my many truth-seeking forays into various belief systems like government, politics, health, business, family, spirituality, education, death--even simple consciousness--I found that even though initially I resonated with certain ideas and seemed to find a safe spot to be for awhile, eventually I'd end up feeling betrayed and standing on the outside, and I'd toss away a whole lot of baggage, and return souly to me and the bright and shining truth I felt of love and gratitude for all. 

Even people I admired and held dear eventually let me down. 

I discovered the futility of trying to control the behavior of others, and instead looked deeper into the hearts of those around me to see who they truly were and how they were serving me by being whatever way I was perceiving them to be--dark or light.

And it was all appropriate and in loving service to me, because they all caused me to drop the outer world and go within, where I discovered this Christed, loving, wise and compassionate, benevolent rebel of a being.

False prophets and teachers will say, 'Here is the Christ! Jesus is coming! Look over here! Look over there!'... But the true teacher is the one within your heart. Listen to that one. Listen to that heart part instead of the hypnotized head. Love leads the way and does no harm.

In those last moments of blessing my dad through his feet, even when my mind yelled at me that I was crazy for doing it, my heart felt such all-encompassing love and gratitude that it outshone any hypnotic mental overlay that tried to keep me in check--docilely in the matrix, so to speak.

Years ago, I had a dream where humanity's focus on the external rather than each individual's internal wisdom was made blatantly clear to me:

All around me were big movie screens that captured and held the attention of other fellow humans. They were entranced by commercials and dramas and games and self-perfecting practices. I was throwing out seed to feed the chickens, but only these iridescent, translucent birds (invisible to the other humans) saw it to eat it. Everyone else was too busy looking outside of themselves--watching a metaphorical TV--to realize the beauty and mastery that was always present within themselves. 

"Don't throw your pearls before swine." This phrase always comes through with the memory of that vision. It doesn't mean humans are a bunch of pigs. It just means they are so deeply immersed into a hypnotic overlay and into an identity of playing the role of a sinner in a mucky pig-pen, that they aren't seeing themselves for who they truly are. And they won't until they're ready...everyone is playing their unique part in this tremendous planetary transition in conscious awareness.

Everything has led me to this profound realization that I now deeply trust myself--first and foremost.

I know I'm not going to harm anyone. Am I going to offend some people? Probably--but that's their own issue. I know the love and acceptance I am coming from. I am not blaming anyone--I'm thanking them for all parts played out just for me in helping me realize and understand how my consciousness radiation and my own field of energy serves me.

Intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing.

Smart people are not necessarily wise. You can be extremely intelligent and be immature in conscious awareness of yourself. Wisdom comes from the distillation of all your human experiences. It means it's full of compassion that only can be truly experienced by having been there, done that.

Technology can be of grand service to our world--but remember it's external. Consciousness is always within you. Only your conscious awareness of yourself will determine whether technology is benevolently or maliciously used in your realm--your own sovereign domain. 

Trust that crystalline realm within your own heart to be your guide first, and then the external will follow suit. 

Choose to be free yourself first by feeling into how freedom feels and openly shining that as you go about your day.

And then create the kind of world you enjoy being in by setting it all free, as well--instead of trying to control it externally.

How are YOU allowing CO-VID 19 to serve you in your personal interactions?

Are you using CO-VID as a way to maintain compassionate friendships, or are you alienating friends and family and neighbors? Some are using it as a weapon of being self-righteous, no matter what the cost--including giving their own sovereignty away to someone outside of oneself. Regardless of where and how it originated, we all have a personal choice of how we're going to use it in our own world.

I have utmost appreciation and compassion for all who have experienced CO-VID, or have lost loved ones because of it. I don't wish it on my worst enemy--though I don't really have enemies. I see everyone playing a role for me, out of the love of their soul, even and especially those pretending to be my enemies. I know they've forgotten who they really are, and I'd rather help them remember that than fight with them. Fighting is a waste of my time and energies. I just really don't like to fight.

One thing I realized I could do was to help ease the fear surrounding the virus by listening to those who've had it share what it was like for them, and what they did to take care of themselves through it. 

The symptoms vary in intensity according to the individual; and some medications work for one, but not for the next. One person lost only his sense of taste, some with allergies said initially they thought it was just their allergies acting up, and that it felt like they just had a cold. Some have had the fever and dry cough and extreme knock-you-off-your-feet exhaustion. One had no fever or cough at all, and was just extremely exhausted. Others tell of having terrible back aches and pains. 

I've heard people say they were following all the precautions, wearing the masks, testing their temperature daily at their place of work, washing their hands, and they still contracted CO-VID. Like any other flu or cold virus, it's out there, and I choose to help support us all through this the best way I know how.

As for medications, one of my friends was given the same mini-dosage steriod that was administered to Trump, and that person found it helpful--said they never had a fever or a cough, but lost their sense of taste and was extremely exhausted for about 2 1/2 weeks. This particular person suffers from allergies and admitted to being afraid of contracting it. They said it was no picnic by any means, but was relieved they were done with it. 

A friend told me about a doctor who realized his asthma patients weren't having the distressing symptoms as badly as others, and he made the connection that the steriod budesonide was in their asthma inhalers. He was prescribing a mini-dosage of the steriod for those CO-VID patients that needed it.

Tylenol is recommended for fever and chills, but Advil seems to make things worse.

Another was given cough medication but said it was worthless for them. 

Zinc supplements, which are found in many cold remedies and eye strengthening supplements may also be linked to helping individuals get back their sense of taste.

Those were just the few things that have come to mind for me, and by no means am I saying they were for everyone. You really have to close your eyes and feel into all of it to discern if any of it resonates with you personally. Your own intuition is your best guide.

If someone makes a blanket judgment it doesn't sit well with me. And if someone chastises everyone else for something one individual did, that doesn't sit well either. It actually gets my back up, and I probably won't "play" with them anymore. Would you? 

A couple of wise individuals I've talked with recently both said they had chosen to stay off social media because they were tired of people saying things on there that they wouldn't dare say face-to-face. Emotional triggering by unawakened individuals is manipulating people into doing and saying the craziest stuff. Everyone would be well-served to shut off the news and shut off the social media so they can calm down and get centered within themselves. We are at our clearest and best when we're calm and trusting of oneself first. And simply being that way is more of a service to one's world than shouting from a soapbox or walking in protest marches--you actually have more benevolent impact. Everything else just naturally falls into place in our lives then, too.

As for anyone or any group out doing malicious acts--we don't have to worry about trying to deal with them. Anyone intent on dark acts--their own karma is going to hit faster and harder then ever before. Our conscious awareness on this planet is too high to support anyone intent on power and control. 

This is all ultimately about freedom for all and using the technology we've been gifted with for the good of all. 

It's up to each sovereign individual how they're going to use it in their own uniquely created world.

It's all up to you--how you choose to experience this--and that's as it should be.

I'd just rather do it united than rather than divided.

P.S. If you happened to be one of us humans who found yourself emotionally triggered in all of this to say or do something that you regret, don't feel alone. We've all been there and done that, myself very much included. We're all human and we're feeling our way through all these planet-changing, life-changing epic events. Fear always accompanies any change just because we're out of our comfort-zone of familiarity with the old, so give yourself a break. What we did in the past doesn't even exist right now. The present is all we have. We're all just simply doing our best to cope in each moment at hand, even if it might look pretty bizarre to someone else.

Much love and light and blessings to all. Thank you all for your service to me in helping me realize who I am.