Life: An Assorted Mess of Sensual Personalized Gifts

Seeing absolutely everything in one's life as a gift requires a huge shift in perspective. 

It means I make the choice to view all my enemies as being gifts packaged JUST FOR ME, instead of being something for me to fight. 

It means I ask the question, "What gift are you bearing me in being as you are right now?"

I drop my weapons and shields, 
I take a deep breath, and I take a step back--
I open up my perspective to a broader view of the whole picture,
and I look for what I've discovered about myself from this situation.

Gifts, gifts--all of them gifts of grace. There is always something to be grateful for in every situation:

The Gift of DEATH of my loved ones was that it shot me into deep inner reflection--I stopped being busy on the outside for a bit, and I listened to what was going on within me. It helped me realize how profoundly and unconditionally I loved all of us all along, even when on the surface we may have been squabbling like tantrum-throwing brats, taking one another for granted, and holding grudges.

Death helped me to let go of the stories and play-acts that I was tired and bored with, even miserable in.

One of the gifts of death is that I got so tired of being afraid of death that I went pro-active with it. I explored it. I explored my feelings and perceptions and ideas about it. When old and traditional and religious answers didn't resonate with me, I looked beyond the conventional, and the next thing I knew I was talking with spiritual entities on the other side of the Veil of Forgetting.

Losing a loved one to death also marked the end of each of my own lifetimes--I changed and became a new person because I viewed things differently. Because of the influence of those experiences and people and beings, I started making more consciously aware choices. I got braver about life. I started cutting through the crap layers of hypnosis and getting to the point of what mattered most of all to me.

The Gift of CANCER when I lost my dad was that I quit trying (emphasis on the trying) to be busy and successful, and went home to savor his presence while I could. I actually blossomed spiritually. I watched our entire family do that very thing--we made time to be together, to laugh, to eat, to cry, to enjoy each others company in a manner never done before. My sensual awareness came to life--some of the simplest moments were more colorful, vibrant and meaningful.

I saw how getting a diagnosis can influence a person's expectations and their creation of the reality they each then experience. I saw all of us play-acting out the disease of cancer--we played the parts of patient, family, caregivers, friends, even spiritual guides. We played out anger and manipulation scenes. We played out forgiveness and helping to shoulder burdens. We played with energy feeding. We played out compassion and REAL love. And we play-acted, and we played and we played...

Everyday life got more sensual, down to where I can still feel how frazzled to a crisp, hot that summer was, the cotton-clogged feel in my mouth and nose, it was so fine-dusted dry. In those moments, I could more easily understand how Dad grappled for a good breath. I can still smell my welcome relief  when a rainstorm broke the spell and filled the cracks in the ground, sweetly moistening the air of which I drank deeply, as though it was an elixir.

One day I stood on top of the Big Hill by Mom's grave and I held my arms out and let the wind hold me as it blew my tears and troubles out. I'm generally not very infatuated with the wind, and I can grumble with the best of them when I feel tossed and pushed about by it. But that moment, the wind was my greatest friend and supporter.

Every time I have German chocolate cake, I'm transported to one of those last days with Dad when he was sitting outside visiting with my brothers, and as I passed by on some errand, he raises his fork and calls over to me, "Look, Pen! I'm eating chocolate cake and it's going down good, too!" Swallowing was difficult for him, but his happiness and joy in his kids being with him made all of it easier.

Mom's prior death had us talking more honestly and from the heart with each other, but Dad's cancer diagnosis took it all another leap further. I only recently realized that I never once prayed to a god outside of myself that entire time. Yet I realized how compassionate I was--that I wanted to honor my dad's choices about his own life. That I wanted him to know I (not some other god out there in the ethers) loved and was grateful for him; and that I chose to be with him every step of the way, as far as it was humanly possible for me to go.

Actually, I watched all of us kids and grand kids choosing to honor our individual relationships with Dad--we allowed each other our separate time with him. No one played the favorites game.

And the night Dad and I got into a tiff was one of my greatest gifts of all--because it made me realize that we weren't perfect humans. I finally took the pressure off myself of trying to stay on a self-righteous pedestal that I kept falling off all the time anyway. While a part of me did immediately recognize it as a gift to be able to disagree and fight with my dad, another part felt ashamed of myself for doing it when he was low on oxygen, thus panicked and not quite in his most balanced state of mind.

Yet even that feeling of shame was a gift because that allows me to relate with others who experience guilt and shame and regret. One of my greatest joys was when I realized how to forgive myself my own perceived trespasses--to call it what it was, which was simply play-acting character roles that were not who I really am. We're all pretending to be human, and simply forgetting that we're just playing a Let's Pretend game. When I view the game as a gift instead of a testing and proving ground, I feel a celebration of gratitude for everything experienced because of the compassionate wisdom I gained from all of it, from all of us.

When humans open up their perspective to seeing life as a gift of experiences, then the services of Death and Disease and War become obsolete, and eventually exist no more in our reality. They are no longer needed to force us inward to quiet reflection and profound realization. With every negative experience there are an infinite number of positives mixed in with it--we've focused most of our attention and memory on that one little slice of negativity though, and that focus made it into a mountain in our reality. Open up, forgive yourself for what you wincingly think of as your screw-up--that wasn't really you--and that shift will allow you to see how much more was going on than you realized. That you were more amazing and grand than you were giving yourself credit for by holding onto the pain and condemnation.

Right now, I'm experiencing the gift of physical pain. I love gardening on balmy spring days. I love clearing out all the old, dead plant matter, smelling the earthy aromas, reveling in the bright lime green of new growth emerging, of youth and possibility. So I got outside a few days ago and cleared out a bagful of debris from my flower beds. I only worked for a couple of hours, and I quit long before I wanted to, all because I chose not to push things so as not to make a night full of pain out of something I enjoy.

I still managed to do enough to bring on a couple of sleepless, throbbing, aching days and nights. It hurts to walk even. I don't do medications of any kind anymore--they don't work at all with me. Heck, even a cold compress doesn't seem to do much, and that used to help reduce the swelling a bit. None of the old methods work--I just feel it, and wish I could bawl it out like I used to do so easily. Once in awhile, I have asked my husband to deeply massage a spot--and that can get painful enough to make me squeak out a few tears--but I don't often do it because he's going through all these body of consciousness transformations, as well. He's exhausted and sore, too.

Lately, I just seem to feel the jolts and observe myself in the moment. I know I'm alright, and I actually tell myself, "You're okay, Pen. Just breathe it in and blow it out. It'll pass. I'm okay." I'm not afraid of it. It's just kind of a pain right now--pun totally intended--AND...I know I'm okay, no matter what happens. I could even die in pain, but I'd still be okay. I still, and always will, exist.

So where's the gift in all of that, Pen? Well, all that pain is helping me to let go of "trying to worry over and work at a living." Taking on a job is out of the question. It doesn't take much right now to exhaust me because I have so many layers and levels of change and transformation going on with me, much of it which can't be seen with the human eye. Yet, it's all very real to me.

I DO KNOW deep down that my reality creates itself around me and in me according to the consciousness I radiate out. I know that if I'm radiating out that I need to suffer and work hard at creating the reality and existence I desire, then the energies serve me by delivering me a life that I have to really sweat at and sometimes bleed for.

I've experienced a plethora of physical symptoms (many of them unpleasant) in the last couple of decades--and it's all been connected to my awakening conscious awareness of my own Divinity and to my current embodied realization of what it's like to be a Divine Human. I'm changing from the old ancestral and karma-created biology into a Light Body, and that has been one hell of a ride. I know my life is infinitely and inherently, naturally abundant--in other words, I don't need to work for a living. But I'm in a human body that's had lifetime after lifetime where we humans have accepted the programming that life is just a lot of angst, work and worries--"That's just how life is--survival of the fittest. Make do with it."

I often think I have a difficult time being still and just allowing life to come to me, but I look around me at all those other busy humans rushing around through life, trying to get ahead and be somebody to someone else, and I realize I'm actually doing better at allowing myself to receive in grace and ease than I was giving myself credit for. I finally actually like me, and because of that, I'm better with everyone else than I was in the past.

And I also realize that it's not easy being something of a consciousness pioneer in the midst of so much hypnosis and mental programming. It's too easy to judge oneself as being "lazy" while in the midst of so much hustle and bustle. But I keep going back to being quiet and content with myself because the realizations and being at peace with myself are so worth it. The freedom is worth it.

When I chose to look at the Graciousness of Life instead of fighting with anything and everything in it, trying to survive it--it changed my life. I began drawing to myself, more and more, gifts and a life that I actually enjoy. Do I still have tough days? You bet I do! And still I always know I'm okay. I'll always exist, even if Penny dies.

It's all a gift...look deep and wide, and you'll see it is so...and so it is.

Victim--Love Your Enemy

Victim, love your enemy--you created that monster. And you're the ONLY ONE who can CHOOSE to let that story be released from your reality.

Have you heard it said that we're each our own worst enemy?

If it's in your life, YOU put it there.

You created your monsters--every single one--but you created them unconsciously.

You were unaware that you created your reality every single breath, every single moment.

You were unaware that you, the pinpoint and source of consciousness of your own bubble of human reality, were radiating fear, that you had protective barriers and guards and weapons erected all around and within yourself--and that that armor was actually distorting the energies in service to you.

That consciousness armor was saying, "I don't trust myself. I don't trust others. If I let my guard down, someone or something will attack me."

So the energies, in loving service to you (the script-writer of your reality) match that guarded consciousness radiating from your center, and they attack you, they give your guards a reason for being in place.

Karma is for the unawakened creator. It was a balancing mechanism put in place for ensuring that we had a fullness of experience, a range of experiences along a duality spectrum with polar opposites of darkness and light. It was so we didn't get stuck in one polar experience, lifetime after lifetime.

If you're being abused in any way in this lifetime by a specific person or group, most likely you played the abuser for them in another lifetime. This is why self-forgiveness is so important. When you forgive yourself, you naturally then forgive all others. You see the beauty of this gift of experience that we call Life on Earth.

When you choose to let go of the past, you choose to release yourself and all others in your life from Karma. You've chosen to release all the actors from re-enacting over and over again the same old script, the same old story. You start your day brand new. You start each day of the rest of your life fresh, free and clear of the sleepy past. When you CHOOSE to AWAKEN from the limited human consciousness state, Karma then becomes obsolete, unnecessary. You simply CHOOSE to release yourself from Karma--and so it is.

Self-forgiveness is simply realizing that that abuser is not, and was not, an awakened human being. They were dead asleep in believing that they were simply a Little Human just trying to survive in a cruel world. They're most likely re-acting, or re-enacting your story together over and over again, simply because you're both afraid--and most of that fear is of one's own shadow. Neither of you trusted yourself, much less anyone else.

In the past, I knew simply saying "I forgive you" to someone else wasn't enough if I didn't sincerely CHOOSE to do that in my own heart. I did a great deal of soul-searching prior to those words, so I could say them and mean them with all my heart and soul. I CHOSE CLARITY, and I ACCEPTED FULL RESPONSIBILITY for my created reality. Accepting full responsibility meant that I did so with infinite SELF-COMPASSION! There was no room for blame or beating on myself--that's like beating on someone because they're simply in a coma.

Are you an Old Game Player, 
or are you a Game Changer?

The choice is yours.

"God forgives you" or "God loves you" didn't cut it for me, because saying it that way was a roundabout way of actually saying, "I don't forgive you" or "I don't love you." And frankly, we can all spy pasted on smiles, fake, and mush from miles away. It's a waste of breath and time saying those words without meaning it, or without at least having the sincere desire to mean it. Having a sincere desire to mean it at least indicates that I've chosen to open the door to real forgiveness. And all we have to do is open up--open a door and invite it in.

Forgiveness is yours when you make it your own, instead of looking for some idol outside of you to do it. You're capable of unconditional love, infinite compassion and forgiveness--all those things humans used to believe only some higher-god-being outside of themselves was able to do. In fact, your soul, your Divinity, is always already doing that very thing.

Self-forgiveness is realizing that monster act that I played in the past was not really me, nor is the monster abusing me the real you. Those were scared, all-alone and insignificant-feeling Little Humans sound asleep in the midst of a terrifying nightmare. Panicked and frightened Little Humans do bizarre and crazy, crappy stuff. We created and acted out a play together based on that limited state of consciousness--and, yeah, it was ugly and repulsive to experience. The only way to get free of it is to choose to let our past scripts for ourselves, and each other, be released. To clear the script.

Don't be afraid of being honest with yourself. Don't be afraid of letting yourself be honest with the monsters in your life. You do know, it doesn't make sense to try to talk honestly with someone who is inebriated--alcohol and drugs get used as an excuse to be assholes and to do atrocious things. But if you feel safe when someone is sober, and you actually want to change the dynamics between the two of you, then open the door to speaking your heart with them. You can clear the air and change your relationship simply by MUTUALLY CHOOSING/AGREEING to talk honestly and openly with each other all the time. You can choose to create a SAFE and SACRED SPACE together.

Don't expect someone to read your mind about your desires--if you're truly done playing the Victim/Abuser game.

Love sets boundaries--you don't allow someone to harm you. That's where the victim plays the part of abuser. I've actually told someone who was ridiculing me, belittling me, that what they were doing was no longer acceptable for me. "You don't treat me like that. I won't allow it anymore."

Love lets go--so if you're afraid for your well-being in the scene that you have playing--please leave the scene. Get the heck out of the picture. Take the loved ones who need protection with you, and don't poke the bear. Don't stay in the same town feeding the gossip, taunting your created monster with your presence and the old story. Until you get that clarity and a true heart-felt feeling of forgiveness and trust of yourself--stay away. That's called giving oneself SAFE and SACRED SPACE.

Give yourself the TIME and SAFE SPACE to get clear about the story you have in play. 

Give yourself the chance to choose true FORGIVENESS of self, and thus, all others. To realize that wasn't the true you. 

Give yourself the chance to DROP the ARMOR, to open up that closed-in energy field. 

Give yourself the chance to RADIATE new SELF-TRUST to create a CONSCIOUS REALITY--a life you actually enjoy living.

Take some deep and conscious breaths, bless the experience for the compassionate wisdom gained, and then let it go. Believe me, when I SIMPLY CHOSE let the past go that I used to feel so ashamed of myself in--it returned to me in a much grander perspective. I chose to FORGET the PAST, and in doing so, I set myself free. I realized so much more was going on within and around me than I gave myself and others credit for in my old limited Victim/Abuser consciousness--in that fight for power over and control of things and beings outside of oneself. I saw the true loving and compassionate being that I was and am--and it's a gift that is still expanding to this day and beyond. I found myself thanking all us actors for all parts played, whether right or seeming wrong. I finally experienced the joy of letting LETTING HUMAN JUDGMENT go.

All these years, I've personally had the sense that forgiveness wasn't complete until I had felt true GRATITUDE for all, in all ways. I'm happy to say, I actually do feel gratitude for everything and for all my experiences in this gift of play-acting together called My Life on Earth. It sings in me...

Related Posts:
Overcoming  the Victimhood Addiction

I Know I'm Playing, "Let's Pretend"

Playing in the dramas/traumas of the sexual energy virus is a seductive game--it's easy to get caught up in self-doubt and mental details that keep you worrying over things you can't control (and aren't meant to control). I realized this morning an easy way to pop myself out of playing in drama. Taking a conscious breath, I remembered this:

"I KNOW within that we're playing games of 
'Let's Pretend':

• Let's pretend I'm insignificant--that what I have to offer or say is meaningless to the rest of "more important" humans and their stories.
• Let's pretend we've got a disease and we're fighting it, trying to cure it...
• Let's pretend so-and-so is dying and leaving us permanently...
• Let's pretend we just can't seem to get along...
• Let's pretend I am POOR...
• Let's pretend you have POWER over me...
• Let's pretend we're fighting wars (pretty much like the Cowboys and Indians pretend games from my childhood)...

"I KNOW that these human bodies are the costumes we don in order to play our pretend games."

"I KNOW these human identities are simply a limited act--they aren't the whole or true me."

"I KNOW I am the master creator of my own reality, and that I can simply choose to harmonize with all you other master creators."

"I KNOW that All is well in All of Creation..."

Got Pain?

Got Pain?

Lie down. 
Close your eyes. 
Take a deep, down-into-your-belly breath:

FEEL into it...

EXPLORE the pain...

Pain is a sensual experience. If you try to avoid feeling it, that will prolong your suffering of it, because you're already in the experiencing of it. If you get out of your way, and ALLOW yourself to feel all the sensations of it--breathing it in and through and out, while exploring all your feelings, thoughts and emotions while in it--you'll FLOW it through and out of your reality much easier and quicker. You'll heal faster.

I often focus in on feeling into the throbbing, the ache, or the piercing, stabbing, burning, tingling--and I make the conscious choice to follow that pain to its source and center. Even if it makes my breath hitch--I take another breath and choose to feel into the hitch. Just dive in there and feel it! It actually can't hurt you any more than it already does. Just give yourself a SAFE SPACE and TIME to FEEL IT THROUGH.

We often think of pain as something bad, to be avoided. Look at the plethora of treatments and drugs humans use to try to handle and control pain. But look at the gift of a human who can feel pain. Paraplegics who've experienced the loss of feeling in their limbs would probably love to be able to feel the sensation of that doctor pricking his finger or toe. Being able to feel pain means we're also alive! Numbing a pain--physical, emotional, mental or otherwise--keeps it in place and the pressure builds from it not being allowed and released. It gets worse. Instead, KEEP FLOWING...

I unconsciously grabbed the barrel of my very hot curling iron a couple of days ago. I'm in a very different place now where I didn't berate myself for being stupid. That's the first thing I would have done in the past--I would have judged and cussed myself out for being such a mindless idiot. I knew it happened for my personal enlightenment, for my own freedom from an old consciousness approach--and I made the decision, then and there, to see it through with compassion for myself.

Anyway, I looked at my three very red fingers and noticed a blistering starting to appear so I plunged my hand under the cold water in order to stop the heat--and I kept it there until I got it cooled down. I knew I was putting off feeling it, but I also knew it was going to hurt eventually, and I was choosing to experience the whole thing consciously. After all, I was already immersed in the whole experience. I couldn't turn back time and undo the deed. I managed to curl my hair and fix lunch without using that hand too much. I even broke down and asked my husband to take care of washing the dishes for me.

Afterwards, I grabbed a throw and I layed down on the couch, closed my eyes--and feelingly explored the sensations. I didn't put anything on it--not even lotion or medications. I simply felt it--the white-hot prickly-tingly sensation similar to how it felt when I was a kid and my fingers and toes warmed up after freezing while out sledding. At a certain point--freezing and burning pretty much feel the same, or so it seems to me.

On into the evening, I felt the pain every now and then, but it had already dissipated quite a bit--even to the point that my warm bath water didn't hurt as badly as it had with burns in the past.

By the following morning, the redness had mostly faded, the skin was a bit dry, but none of it was uncomfortable anymore. I could fully use it once again. Today--two days later--I can't even see or tell that I burned it. I used to have scars for weeks on my neck from curling iron burns.

Now, this whole insight on pain--I've had for well over a decade--and I use it all the time. I've moved a lot of pain through over the years. Medications no longer work for me--I just end up stuck in the pain, along with more side effects and other symptoms. I've found it works best to just get out of my own way, and immerse and feel and explore the experience through. Don't be afraid to cry--tears can actually help flow the energies.

Clarity for the New Year

Close your eyes and FEEL into this:

"When I demand that I treat myself with Honor, Love, and Gratitude--when I accept nothing less than that from myself first--then my world naturally follows suit."

My life is a gift to me. If I don't view it or allow it as such, no one else will either.

Feeling Like the World is Out to Get You?

Are you feeling as though your world is falling apart and you have no control over it? Your mind is whirling trying to figure out how to stop the craziness, your emotions are all over the map, and your gut just tightens in WORRY. 

How do you quit this fighting to survive stuff?  The key is CONSCIOUS ALLOWING--allowing in full awareness that all of the above is going on within you, and realizing you don't have to figure out what to do about it--you just experience the experience....

Conscious Allowance is acknowledging that:  
"If it's in my life--I put it there." 

If it's in my life, I've adopted it into my own reality landscape--no one forced this on me. 

Be aware of the mental programming inside that wants to keep me playing the Victim--because acting out that role keeps whatever issue in my reality--it densifies it even more.

Close your eyes and feel into this CONSCIOUS ALLOWING:

If it's in my life and I put it there, I'm the only one who can CHOOSE to let it go: "I'm doing this to myself." 

If I fight with it or try to control it, it'll stay. 

So I take a deep and conscious down-into-my-belly breath and I OPEN my energetic field and just FEEL myself FLOWING; I drop my weapons and my protective armor. I let go of the story and its details.

If I accept that I PUT IT THERE and IT'S SERVING ME on some level, that I'm benefiting from it (maybe because I like playing "Victim")--just CONSCIOUSLY ALLOW IT, while honestly admitting that it irks me--everything will change.

It will change because I'm now consciously aware of it--that conflict within myself--and I'm choosing to ALLOW my own FREEDOM of being.

Everything will change because I've opened up myself without judgment--my consciousness--and the energies that serve me in manifesting my reality--my radiation of consciousness--match that radiant ease and grace.

I take another conscious breath--and I just CHOOSE to ALLOW myself to RECEIVE JOYFUL ABUNDANCE in EASE and GRACE. And so it is--no need to try to mentally figure anything out.

Open and Allow...Allow...Allow yourself to be...

YOU ARE the CREATOR of your own life experiences--your own reality.


The New Lullaby

I love you, and your daddy does, too,

Guiding and loving the best we can do.

Remember this thru' time's trickling sands:

You're in the most loving hands.

Life has its sorrows, and life has its joys--

Scraped knees and tumbles, soft kisses and sighs.

Taste it all, understanding in full

The purpose for this time.

When you've tired of fighting lost fights,

Your dreams all seem broken, no hope left in sight.

You'll pick yourself up and dry the tears from your eyes,

And separate truth from lies.

Life has its sorrows, and life has its joys--

Scraped knees and tumbles, soft kisses and sighs.

Taste it all, understanding in full

We need Our Darkness to see Our Light!

I love you, and your daddy does, too,

Guiding and loving the best we can do.

Remember this thru' time's trickling sands:
You're in the most loving hands--

You're in Your Own loving hands...

Taking the Fear Out of Making a Wrong Choice

In new conscious awareness, you can't make a wrong or bad choice. You can even make a choice that you'd think was obviously a bad one, and have it turn out to be an enjoyable manifested experience. Here's why:

It's all about you consciously RADIATING FULL TRUST of YOURSELF--the energies that serve you will match that radiation of integrity.

Where there is full TRUST of SELF, 
there is NO SELF-DOUBT.


However, 

where there is JUDGMENT, 
there is SELF-DOUBT.

A hint of radiated self-doubt, a hint of FEELING as though one's INTEGRITY in any situation is not fully intact--that will warp your point of conscious presence enough that you put up an energetic protective barrier around your field of energy.

The energies coming in to serve you match your radiated consciousness. They feel that friction, that barrier of unease, that attempt to monitor or control them, and they give you something to protect against, some type of conflict then gets created in your experience.

If you are RELAXED, OPEN and consciously ALLOWING--FEELING this--then no matter what choice you make, even if it seems like it could be a bad one, the energies that serve you are flowing to you and through you without hindrance. There are no guards or walls--and because of that openness, they respond in kind. Your body of consciousness is allowed to be at ease without being caught up in some constructed conflict. Simply because your inner pinpoint of awareness is not conflicted in the first place--you're flowing and allowing and at ease.

You cannot choose potentials that you cannot perceive. 

In the first place, you have to open yourself up to the possibility that those OTHER potentials actually exist.

What if we believed we only live in a black and white world because that's all we see, yet there are multitudes of color to select and experience, but we don't open up to the possibility they're there because all we see is black and white? We tell ourselves that either black or white is all we have to work with, so just pick one, dammit! That's just the way it is, and just get used to it.

We're used to our choices seeming to always head down one very narrow path with very limited expectations about the outcome. Judgment (regardless of whether you deem something "good" or "bad"), and the deeply ingrained self-doubt that one feels, also LIMITS the potentials that one can see. A PERCEIVED limited potential set of choices then keeps the outcome limited. Basically, we keep repeating our past experiences over and over again, they're just packaged differently.

For instance, I recently had someone tell me about an investment opportunity they had. They weren't looking for me to invest, but my JUDGMENT of the thing was, "It's a scam." I didn't tell the person that, but I did warn them to beware of such things, all the while knowing I had to honor their sovereignty and choice of experience. I honestly wasn't at ease with our conversation--I was scared for the outcome, afraid I was going to have to allow them to get hurt. But then I became aware that it was JUST MY JUDGMENT of the deal that was the only thing limiting my body of consciousness--MY EXPERIENCE. My friend was simply an actor for a script I HAD WRITTEN.

What I first JUDGED as a BAD CHOICE suddenly opened up. I saw potentials my friend could experience because of making that choice--and instead of the BAD OUTCOME I was first certain was headed his way, I saw really great possibilities for his journey, and grand things that could come out of it. The original, very limited, set of seemingly bad potentials opened quantumly-wide to an infinity of potential experiences. Anything became possible--even something miraculous--and it all originated from the making of what intially seemed like a "WRONG" choice.

In the end, it didn't matter what choice my friend made--all that mattered, ultimately, was really how I perceived it. That was all that mattered all along. By consciously choosing to feel into the situation, and by honestly acknowledging how I felt and that I had indeed been judging the situation and trying to make a right choice--I became aware of my own radiation of consciousness. I then opened up to viewing it from different perspectives--like what could possibly happen across a broader stretch of time, rather than a few singular traumatic moments--and I wrote a new open-ended script for my friend. I set us both free, and my world changed.

For one thing--I got this huge Ah-HAA! out of the deal!

The conversation with my friend was synchronistic for me in that I'd just heard someone ask Adamus Saint-Germain for advice on where to invest a windfall that they'd come into. Adamus said to just avoid anything secretive and to simply make sure they had what they needed in the present moment to enjoy living. A great stock portfolio or having a lot of money in the bank didn't necessarily mean a person was LIVING ABUNDANTLY. His point was that stockpiling anything, even money, wasn't allowing abundance in a person's life. Hauling around and storing loads of anything is a burden--that's not necessarily a joyful living experience. I have observed some wealthy people display paranoid behavior--a fear that everyone was out to steal from them. That didn't look like a fun life to me.

Adamus's point was that each of our inherent abundance is in the present moment--no worries or cares about where it came from--you just have it the moment you need it. And that we've all been abundant always--many of us have just chosen to focus on pretending to have an abundance of a LACK of ABUNDANCE.

I also realized that it was the SECRECY aspect surrounding any investment that Adamus was referring to, more than anything else, that was probably the biggest factor affecting how one gets their financial income. Secrecy implies a LACK of INTEGRITY. And anywhere there is a FEELING of a lack of integrity, you have FEELINGS of SELF-DOUBT.

That self-doubt, lack of self-trust, distorts everything in a twisted way. Self-doubt pretty much equals conflict.

So, it still simply comes down to this:

Don't judge. 
Don't think. 
Don't worry. 
Don't analyze. 
Let go of expectations of an outcome.

Simply be aware of how I'm FEELING inside, and take a simple breath and CHOOSE to:

1. OPEN UP my field of energy...weapons down, armor off...

2. ALLOW the energies to serve me in grace and ease...no need to try to figure out how or what...

3. RELAX...take it easy...this enlightenment happens naturally if I stay out of my way...

4. ENJOY the FREEDOM...