The Legacy of Charlie Kirk.... It's Up to Every Single One of Us....

The murder--assassination--of Charlie Kirk broke my heart....

My Beloved Humanity, we are better than this.... 

And anyone cheering the murder of another needs to demand higher and better of themselves.... and look at what they're nourishing themselves with....

I didn't necessarily agree with all of Charlie Kirk's message, but I recognized a kindred spirit in his obvious love for humanity and our beloved homeland, the United States of America--and the freedom for all upon which it was founded. He was seeking a peaceful resolution of differences through conversation. He never condoned murder nor even hatred of those who disagreed with him. 

And the young man who killed Charlie, whose name should not be remembered or celebrated, was very obviously to me, a hypnotized patsy of the legacy media controlled by an element that promotes divisiveness through differences, rather than unity through seeking things in common with our fellow humans. He was an example of what could be done with people who had no relationship with their own Divinity or Soul. He was a lost Little Human being, who'd eaten a diet of fear and hatred provided by other lost humans--individuals who were seeking power and control of their outer world by any nasty means possible....

A simple question to ask oneself, whether in conversation person-to-person or while watching the news or a podcast:

Is what this person saying causing me to feel afraid? Am I closing down within?

If someone is trying to use fear to activate me to do something, that's my red flag that they're trying to manipulate me. When any human is in fear--even worse, feeling backed into a corner with no way out--that desperation will have them striking out at anything and everything because of the survival instinct. You're SO NOT going to get the best behavior out of that.

The trouble is that we were brought up to watch the news and believe that what was reported was the whole truth. To be knowledgeable about current events in our communities, country, and world at large. In school, through classes like Current Events, we were taught to trust the news reporters--not to look for bias. 

My wise dad told me, "Pen, don't trust everything you read in the papers or see on the news." He and the man he'd worked with had been subjects of a reporter intent on twisting their words and taking things out of context in order to portray them in a bad light. Dad and his friend were working towards the betterment of humanity at the time, too. 

Plus, the few major networks at the time were owned by the same few individuals; and at that time, those who controlled the narrative of the news controlled the major populace. With the advent of the internet, those old powers that be are obsolete and losing control.... but they're not leaving quietly, my beloved humanity. Don't let them manipulate you through fear and hatred into committing acts like what was done to Charlie Kirk and his beloved family--that hypnotized young shooter left Charlie's children without their beloved daddy, and a loving, devoted woman without her husband and best friend.... When is that anything to celebrate?

I also feel compassion for what that shooter's actions did to his own family and loved ones.... Frankly, he needs to sit in isolation in a cell and live with what he has done--to ponder over it in silence.... because there has been no remorse expressed by him. Even executing him after a fair trial, of course, doesn't feel like something I want to see happen in all this.... I think honoring Charlie demands more from us--a higher consciousness resolution so that things like this never happen again....

Charlie Kirk was a peacemaker, though that is definitely not the way he's been portrayed on the old news stations and newspapers and on talk shows. 

The sad, troubling thing is that I heard of an actual neighbor and friend of mine cheering at the assassination attempt of Donald Trump--I shiver in revulsion at that. Another person was killed in that first attempt, but that didn't seem to strike this individual as wrong because the victim was a supporter of Trump. 

But I also know that this person is watching the legacy TV news stations--local and national--in an attempt to be informed. To be a good citizen, as we were raised to do. Only this has been a news diet of fear and calling someone a Hitler based on creative editing and propaganda.... only this person DOES NOT KNOW THAT!

Hitler was one scary man, and people like to think that if he'd only been assassinated WWII would never have happened.... and that's the fear trying to be stoked and fed today by those with malevolence in their hearts. And they're trying to get other asleep, unaware humans to do their dirty work for them.

But that's just it--Hitler was only one man.... It took a multitude of hypnotized, scared, and desperate humans to fight those wars and to do those awful, heinous acts upon their fellow human beings. Was Hitler even in any of the battles? He's the one who divided and culled out, set apart, different segments of population as good or bad, right or wrong--or more importantly--someone to be feared. He churned out propaganda, bias and lies to people who were desperate to begin with, and then terrified them even more with rhetoric about the "monsters" he told them were in their midst. He also educated them and gave them stuff. Germany's inflation was so high at the time he came into power that I heard wheelbarrows of German currency at the time were needed to buy one loaf of bread--it had that little value. You can't eat money.... Hitler was good at pointing fingers of blame and urging people to rat out and actually kill thy neighbor. Neither of which I've ever heard President Trump or Charlie Kirk EVER say.... 

But you would never know this if you were only watching legacy news sources and not tapping into the wisdom of your own soul and divinity--the clarity of your own heart.... 

And we have generations of programmed Current Events watchers of the old legacy news.... They don't know any better, and they aren't aware they are being emotionally manipulated. 

I choose to look deeper and to connect with people at a heart level--to invite out their best and highest when interacting with me. So they can experience who they really are instead of as the ranting, raging lunatics being posted all over social media.

In the fall of 2021, I helped out an 89-year-old widow who'd pretty much been entrenched in her home through the corona virus crap. She turned the news on the moment she woke up in the morning. The TV was a means of keeping herself company through endless days of being alone. Plus, she was trying to stay dutifully informed. This outgoing, loving lady had shut down and gone into a depression. She'd been getting every CO-VID vaccination and booster shot the medical field could dole out up to that point. For forty years she was a hospice volunteer, so that should tell you all you need to know about her character.

My point here is that good-hearted, otherwise lovely humans have been hypnotized and programmed throughout their entire life and education to not question things.... Those insane drama kings and queens posted all over the internet are not people who are balanced mentally and emotionally, much less, spiritually. By sharing this behavior on our newsfeeds are we seeking a peaceful resolution or are we stoking the flames? I guess one knows that only in the moment at hand.... but I think there are better ways....

We need to seek to connect to that higher part of each other--invite that out. After all, these are our friends and neighbors, fellow humans. Encourage one another to search their own heart for what resonates with them and let them feel safe in expressing that. That's what Charlie was doing on campuses across the country. Listen.... and then have your say.... Listen some more, and feel into the subtlety of what isn't said....

Shaming and ridicule--especially when in the company of other people--isn't going to cut it. That will have people feeling bad about themselves, shutting down, and going on the defensive. That's what I initially instinctively did when someone pointed a finger of "That's no way to be" judgment at me. It felt like an attack. I'm aware enough now to let myself have the time to step back and get some clarity before blowing up at someone, but I've actively chosen to do that and have practiced it alot. You desire the best action out of someone, you want to connect with someone's heart and clarity, not put them down. I have found that best done when one-on-one, away from the eyes of others.

The Constitution of the United States of America is a paper stepping-stone to the Discernment of YOU, the Self-Sovereign of your domain.

The Constitution protects ALL free speech--even the nasty stuff. And that guaranteed freedom of speech, among others, has been abused by power-seeking, lost little human patterns of energy (nothing more). 

But laws on paper only go so far--we really have no control over others. Power and control are illusions. Courts across the land can debate and argue what's constitutional and what's not on into infinity. As the self-sovereign master of your own life, YOU DECIDE what and who you give your attention to. 

And that, My Beloveds, is the magnificence and beauty of you! You decide in every breath what you place in your world landscape (regardless of whether you think of yourself as a master of your life).... And the more benevolent things you contemplate and dwell with, the more benevolent your worldscape becomes, as your own energy field serves you by matching what you radiate out as your truth.

Replace Tantrum-Throwers with the Celebration of Humanity at Its Best

Those acting insane and ranting, cheering on assassinations of ANYONE--clear and block them from your personal social media feeds. Don't watch their podcasts or talk shows. Cancel them from your own life. Don't give them the light of day or expression in your world. After all--that's all just an old, obsolete pattern having a fit....

If you do come across such trash and volatile videos of anyone praising a murder, use your own heart and knowingness on whether to share it in the moment at hand. Some people are justly losing their jobs by this happening and by many people pointing it out. Good people are no longer tolerating bad behavior. But also beware of those simply trying to get people emotionally triggered into doing things they wouldn't rationally do. We desire clear, balanced behavior in the bringing of justice to any situation--not the blind beheadings that happened in the French Revolution.

Focus on the goodness of humanity instead. Share with your world the videos and artwork and writings of people who have unconditional love in their hearts and acts, and who are actively seeking to connect with humanity at its best and highest....

When each human makes obsolete in their own personal world and social media those individuals who seek to divide, the wars are done with, person by person. Seek good things in common; and don't be afraid to point out, with sincerity, that goodness within that you see in another: YOU have that POTENTLY CREATIVE CHOICE, each and everyone....

I had a different perspective than Charlie Kirk on established religion, studying the Bible, and going to church. We had different life experiences in those areas--but it doesn't make either of our paths better than the other. We had core ideas and a love for humanity and freedom, this country, this planet, in common. It's important that each of us walks our own walk, because we each bring something to the whole that would be missing otherwise. Plus, I enjoyed watching and listening to Charlie's conversations with college students. He was reaching out to find things in common, to connect and to let people know someone was interested in them and what they felt and had to say.... 

Each and every human is important to the whole--never sell yourself short. And if you did so in the past and have sincere regrets about those deeds, it's never too late. Keep yourself open to hope and the miraculous. You--we--are ALL here for a good purpose even if you're not yet clear about what that is, my Beloveds.... It's time to wake up to the more that you are....

The Adrenaline of Fear always eventually disappears.... but LOVE!.... Ah! PURE LOVE lives on forever....

Let's build bridges.... 

No more pointing fingers of blame, ridiculing, and feeding fear. 

NO MORE MURDERS....

 Let's open up to who we truly are and reach out to shake hands.... have visits from the heart....

I have a feeling that is the Legacy that would most honor our beloved Charlie Kirk....

My Beloved Humanity: We can all be different--that should even be celebrated--and still live together in harmony. But that only happens when EACH PERSON CHOOSES that....

It's really that simple....

We have a brand new, higher consciousness world to escort in--a good and benevolent one that we've all earned. That's what ultimately we're all here for, when all of it is said and done.... That's what I'm focusing on with all of my heart, mind, body, soul and inner knowingness.... with every creative fiber that I have....

In love and gratitude, Charlie, Erika and your beloved children,

The Benevolent Rebel

Wake Up, Villain! Part 4: You're Just an Old Energy Pattern, Nothing More....

Recognizing and Releasing an Ancient Villain/Victim Energy Pattern

I am a lover of stories, but sometimes I love the characters in them so much that I haven't seen clearly the consciousness I'm radiating out that is keeping me and all of them in an old story--and often, for me, a painful, stuck-feeling, tug-o'-war of the heart strings-relationship story. It's very hard to get, much less maintain clarity and balance when tied in so closely. But real, true love lets go.... I know this for myself as fact....

This past month I've been finding it helpful to see all the stories I've created as just patterns of energy--my own energies--arranging themselves for me so I can have an experience. The experiences and my identity in them aren't who I really am--it's all just a pattern founded in love for me and my soul--my I am! divinity.

It's this seeing everything as a pattern of energy that finally cleared up a life-long conundrum for myself.

This blog, while really obscure anyway, is probably least read by the loved ones closest to me.... and, while I admit that that hurts, I can also understand it. While the sadness loops around through my mind and feelings every now and again, I just shrug it off--kind of--and keep on writing stuff.

I've been in the midst of releasing all kinds of energy patterns--sometimes it feels like it's been a process of revelation and release my entire life, and sometimes it feels like it's been only a few months. And sometimes stuff that I've thought I've dealt with long ago rises again to the surface, and it causes me to have an even deeper realisation of perceptions and suppressed hurts I've still been carrying around.

For instance, I have crenellated scar tissue on my cheek that emerged sometime around 2008. It never really hurt, but it was something I occasionally picked at. I had an unsightly boil surface there just in time for school pictures when I was a junior in high school. Later, in my late twenties,a friend's cat, Mr. D ("D" for Devil) jumped up and curled up on my lap, and everything seemed just fine until he suddenly bit me on that spot on my cheek. I hadn't done anything to hurt him, but I was taken aback at the attack, and felt bad that it had happened for both my friend and her cat, as well as myself. So I didn't make it a big deal--in retrospect, I suppressed it and my true feelings around it because I didn't know how else to handle it or flow it through at the time. I didn't allow myself even a miniscule moment of anger.

It was only this morning when the scar caught my husband's concern that a new insight popped into my awareness regarding it. We were discussing this topic of suppressing hurts. A few minutes later I had an Ah-Ha! while looking at it in the mirror, talking kindly and reassuringly to myself. While this blemish was present about as up front and center as you can possibly get, and no matter what I did to address it in this linear timeframe it still wouldn't just fade away, I've had this knowingness that there is a quantum potential where there is absolutely nothing to heal--I am all balanced, flowing and whole. But because it was still in my life, on my cheek for all to see, comment on, and even be repulsed by--it was serving me somehow.... 

Looking in the mirror, gently stroking my own cheek as I gazed into my eyes, I realized: I've been suppressing my feelings of being hurt, and that damned scar on my cheek was letting me know I was still doing just that. I couldn't ignore it or avoid it or even cover it in ointments and makeup--that didn't make it all okay and erase the pattern. The feelings were there, all bottled up and not listened to. Therefore, not released and neutralized. 

I've been suppressing my anger when someone treats me unkindly--in a manner in which I would never allow myself to treat them. After all this time of knowing better than to do that, my cheek was reminding me, "Pen, you're  still letting people 'unknowingly' wound you. Let the anger and hurt you feel be honestly felt and then expressed to that person when you're ready to address the matter on your terms. When you're clear about what you want to say. You don't have to blow up and verbally attack them in the heat of the moment. You don't have to blame them, nor worry whether you'll offend them or not in their beliefs. Just allow yourself to speak your truth. You can find a moment to have your say and clear the air, release the wound. I know you--and I KNOW how much you love and celebrate us all, in all our ways...."

To give myself credit, it's probably been in the last six months I've really started practicing this whole idea of letting myself speak my truth instead of worrying about offending someone else who frankly isn't aware enough of themselves in the moment of abuse to even realize they might be hurting me. I don't harbor grudges, but if someone still is unwilling to admit that they might have done or said something that could have been construed as judgmental and even mean--I don't have to continue a relationship with them. But I can have my say, and tell them that they've hurt me.

It was all just a villainous pattern where I was taking the hits--embodying pain that wasn't mine to carry--just because I didn't know what else to do with it at the time....

Carole King's song, "Tapestry," captured my imagination when I was young, with its linking of patterns with stories:

    My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hues,

    An everlasting vision of the ever-changing will.

    A wonderous woven magic in bits of blue and gold--

    A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold....

It was only a couple of days ago as I was singing these lyrics to my husband that I realized I had my own connection to the "bits of blue and gold" line. When writing about my last days with my dad in With Love, Dad... I told of a blue and golden moment of my own that I linked to Vincent Van Gogh's works, and also to a painting, "Small Adjustments,"  by a dear friend of mine, a fine artist, Marsha Lehmann:

"I began to recall many of the works of Vincent Van Gogh--and I had a strong sense that he would have understood my concept of a blue and golden moment. It's a moment so exquisite--so intensely joy-filled and golden--that the thought of its departure in the next breath causes a pang of deep sadness and tears--blueness."

It's such a joy when synchronicities like that happen. It's like a little wink and nod that everything's working out just fine....

Anyway, I've discovered that taking the idea of a story one step further and just seeing it as a pattern of my own energy, which is ONLY in service to me always--regardless of whether I like the experience I'm getting or not--takes the emotional triggering out of the equation. It helps give me enough distance and clarity to disengage with any type of struggle or conflict with what I have manifested. I become a neutral observer. I quit suppressing and trying to ignore and avoid those little hurts that want to keep circling through my mind and heart and just LET MYSELF JUST BE! No monitor or stifler.

And when I began a conversation with my loved one about all these hurts through the years, I acknowledged from the start that I'd had an old and ancient pattern in play that had been running my show. The other person wasn't to blame and neither was I--we were just doing the best we knew how at that time in our lives. I explained that I wasn't trying to keep score of all the things the other person supposedly did wrong to me--they were just acting out a role which someone had to play for me in order to match what I was un-consciously but still creatively radiating out to my field of energies as something I was wanting on some level to experience. My god! It literally cleared the air--we got a brand new start built on a brand new foundation for the friendship and relationship we both hold dear! Sans the baggage of my past....

Energy truly is communication--me, the human, communing this entire time with my soul, though I wasn't aware of doing so through most of it as a human costume on my many sojourns on this planet. Most of what I did in the past was founded in my very limited awareness of who I really was. I was just a Little Human trying to survive one more moment and doing the best I knew how to in that moment. So much of it was based in fear--fear of not surviving, fear of being unworthy of existing, and feeling insignificant to my world--a puppet dangling from some other authoritative entity's string.

That conversation I had with my loved one was scary to contemplate but I'd practiced what I wanted to say for quite a few days beforehand. I was done blaming the other person and myself--we were both acting from family dispositions, old beliefs, ancestral and personal karma, and genetics. I made sure I stated that neither of us had done anything wrong, ever--and I meant it from my heart. 

We'd been UNKNOWINGLY operating on a sort of hypnotic, reactive autopilot for navigating this world, and our relationship. Neither of us could see that until we each began to personally and naturally awaken, and open up our perspectives to the more that we each and all are. And it didn't happen at the same time for us. But, even as frustrating as that was, I believe that we'd agreed to do it that way on purpose in order to help us both create a more balanced and graceful, merciful bridge from the old into the new consciousness for both of us. The transition wouldn't be so jarring that we popped out of our bodies before we got done what we came to do.

Sometimes we both felt that we had nothing in common anymore, but that was coming from personal emotional pain--we had a kind of guard erected to prevent the other from getting any closer and hurting us more. Be the first to shove the other away because you're afraid you're going to lose them anyway.  

Yet when we both put down our self-preservation armor and let ourselves be totally vulnerable by being completely honest and compassionately self-responsible and saying out loud what we wanted from our relationship--well, I felt a huge shift. At last, we were communicating clearly, each from our own heart.... and magic began to happen....

You know, I considered myself one of the many Shaumbra of Crimson Circle from the first time I discovered them (around 2004) and began to listen and read, and later watch online, their materials on human consciousness evolution, revelation, and revolution. But while I looked forward to the monthly webcasts/shouds, I never once attended in person a live workshop. I would feel myself shatter and scatter apart when in a group. Part of me longed for the companionship and friendship of like-minded people through the years--yet, deep within me, I felt this passion that consciousness--awakening to divine self--eventually happened with everyone who came to have the human experience here on planet Earth. No education, workshop, title, status, or licensed accreditation needed. It was all right here within and I was never alone....

My tapestry's unraveling....

That was what my personal walk was all about. I just HAD to know this for myself: When it's your time to awaken, you do.... And the more you trust and love the answers you listen for and discover within yourself--you communicating with your own soul/divinity--the more the old--and blessed--pattern of your own tapestry comes apart, thread by worn thread, letting in more light.

Hanging on for fear of history repeating itself keeps the old pattern in place....

I've had this fear throughout my life and I can sense it being very dense in mass consciousness. This fear that if I let go of and forget my past mistakes, I'll repeat them and endure the painful consequences all over again... 

But lately, I feel on the cusp of a new perspective on that. Continually dragging the pattern forward, having it loop through my mind and emotional body in fear, actually keeps the old, unwanted stories in play. The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome. 

The radiated consciousness of trying to not do something over again is actually guarded and limited. It won't allow a new perspective and experience to come in. In fact, it will repeat history over and over again if I keep myself closed down. Like with every type of villainous energy, I have to open up, relax, and allow my truth to expand and evolve in order to get something new based in freedom.

I'm realizing that by allowing all my own past energetic patterns to be cleared, then all the past malevolent power-playing acts are being neutralized and erased from history for me, as well. I don't have to be the prosecutor, judge, juror and executioner of myself or my world characters. The old tapestry--the old illusion playground--is shredding apart into nothingness by me letting go....

I can actually feel within myself that the power and control-playing atrocities of our past can no longer happen in the new awareness of self. I have no desire to feed or steal the energies of someone or something outside of myself. I have no interest in hurting or harming myself or another. Hey, if a mosquito bites me I'm gonna slap it without regret or guilt--I'm not that enlightened yet. Ha! But as for the rest of my worlds--I'm quite benevolent and safe.... I've felt this way for a long time, but it feels like I've moved into a whole other level of it now....

Let it all go--Body, Heart, Mind--and instead, Let Soul....

This identity and my entire old world--it's all coming apart. While I'm tired and bored with my past constructs and often feeling stuck in them, still there was a false sense of security in at least being familiar with the old world stories. At least I knew what I was up against. There was a bit of bracing within me at having to let go of especially my loved ones and the relationships we had going, because I had no previous human experience of this brand new consciousness world. I was going to have to fully trust myself--trust my own soul and its wisdom gained through the ages from the Human Experiencer. 

I'm not so afraid of losing anymore....

I can just let it all unravel--naturally, gracefully and mercifully--all on its own. I no longer have a need or desire to try to figure out which threads to pull. I know we're ultimately all okay and that this is truly what I came to be here for in this lifetime.... I've noticed I'm no longer talking to my loved ones who have died. The connection has fallen away, but, happily so, that feels appropriate, okay. Because I sense we're soon going to reconnect in a more free and grand way than I could have ever humanly imagined....

Breathe, Pen.... 

Allow yourself to freely be....

Open wide....

Relax and Receive--it all comes to you if you let it....

Flow.... 

and maybe sing, dance, and laugh in celebration a bit more often....

And gradually a new kind of more colorful, quantum thread emerges to take the place of the old. This unperceivable-before thread begins to weave together in a new way, creating a brand new tapestry based on a creator fully aware of who they truly are, with all facets of itself communing and working together as one. Thus manifesting a more flowing and free masterpiece that is YOU experiencing you.... and founded in this amazing human discovery called LOVE....

With my utmost gratitude and love for all that was, is, and shall be....all my tapestries,

The Benevolent Rebel

Related Posts:

Wake Up, Villain! Part 1: I KNOW That's NOT the REAL YOU....

Wake Up, Villain! Part 2: The Many Faces of the Villain

Wake Up, Villain! Part 3: Let's Build Bridges!