Walk Like a Master

This is about as simple as I can make it, and when life feels chaotic, and out of control, you want something simple to help you laugh through it: Close your eyes, take deep (down into your belly) conscious breaths until you feel yourself tingling, and carry yourself like you own that Gift of Life that is YOURS! Be the OBSERVER/Master of Your Life--and watch the dramas fall away...

Most of us leave our bodies more than we're PRESENT in them. The conscious tingling-aware breath brings us back into them, and says, "I exist! I'm here! I accept all that I am!"--the energies ABUNDANTLY rush in to support that CHOICE to LIVE and to BE. It's that simple.

The way I see it--you could skip reading everything else I've written in this blog, and focus instead on walking around like, acting like, a master. Like you're the MASTER of YOUR OWN LIFE. EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. EVERY BREATH...

This is all just an ILLUSION tailored to you--
own your unique world, take charge, and
WALK LIKE you are the MASTER of it...

Well, because you are.

My perspective is this is my life--my reality illusion--and I'm the source and center of this specific bubble of biology. A few months ago, Adamus Saint-Germain of crimsoncircle.com reminded us to "Act like a master until you realize--as did all the (self-)masters before--that it's all, life is, just an act."

Consider the posture of a master. In my eyes--everyone is a potential self-master, even those currently utilizing a wheel chair or a bed. Just close your eyes and feel yourself, your body stand erect--forget about studying your reflection in the mirror to see if you're holding yourself upright--CLOSE THOSE EYES AND FEEL THE REAL YOU standing tall!

Masters carry themselves with confidence, whether sitting or walking or lying down. They breathe with such ease that it's automatic. Their shoulders are straight--not rounded or hunched over in apology or shame or woe-begone self-pity. Their heads are level--like a runway model who's taught to balance a book on the top of her head while imagining a taut thread running along her spine and out the crown.

A master's eyes are direct, twinkling and unflinching. He steps with complete trust in himself--and if she trips, she's the first to laugh at herself with gusto!

Self-masters know there are no right or wrong experiences. There's simply a master choosing to have an experience.

Masters don't whine. Ahhhhhhhhhh...... Commiseration and pity would be obsolete.

Masters don't have to spend years processing painful old stories and emotions from their past. They just realize and accept that they gave themselves ample opportunities to drive themselves inward to find their treasured inheritance within, thus to shake themselves awake to their own inner mastery.

Masters don't second-guess, analyze or doubt themselves. It is what it is in the moment--and it's naturally appropriate. I used to mentally revisit my past interactions over and over again, trying to figure out if I said things the "right" way, castigating myself for my "wrong" actions and reactions. What a massive amount of energy devoted and directed to something that is no longer even real--the past. When a moment is done--it's past. And the next moment is a chance for something new and different, if the master chooses.

Masters don't hurry due to feeling time constraints--they enjoy each step of their journey. It can be a running step or a lolly-gagging meander--doesn't matter. The master knows that time will serve her, if she chooses to allow it to do so. They don't metaphorically or literally punch a time clock--rushing around like the Mad Hatter (of Alice in Wonderland), EXTREMELY BUSY racing around like a chicken with its head cut off. Unfortunately, I know exactly what that looks like--I used to have to help Mom butcher chickens.

Busy rushers aren't present in the moment--they're so far ahead into the future, fear is one of the foundations that they're creating from. CLOSE YOUR EYES sometime when you're feeling hurried and rushed (not when driving, of course)--that clenched jaw, shoulder-tightness, stomach-braced-for-a-punch energy you're emoting is what you're radiating out into the Universe as a personal truth: "I'm in a hurry." And so it is--the Universe lovingly places things in such a way as to keep you "hurrying." As I've tried to impress before--"I am..." STATEMENTS are potent creators, especially when supported by your EMOTIONS.

Masters simply don't hurry. They don't rush around like rats in a maze scrambling for a bit of sweet instant gratification from someone else out there (the human who built the maze and doles out the treats).

Masters don't worry, because they understand that this life on Earth is an illusion playground where we can act out all kinds of stories and things to relate to (remember Einstein's Theory of Relativity), and with, without true harm being done to anyone or anything. Think about it for a moment--stories are a way to RELATE with each other--Einstein gave the theory that simple name for a reason. This earth experience is for each of us, our very own virtual reality game being played out like the characters did in the holodeck of the starship, Enterprise, on Star Trek: The Next Generation--only WAY MORE COOL!

Masters realize life is their gift to live their own way--they aren't living it according to some limited, freedom-stopping whim of fate or destiny. The Source of ALL that Is, said, "Go out, my beloved children--express and experience and discover all that you are..." No conditions attached--there didn't need to be any.

Life doesn't live the master. The master LIVES life.

I'm going to keep this one short. I spend a great portion of my days checking in with myself to feel if I'm carrying myself as the master I do know that I am. And in those moments and situations when I feel myself overwhelmed and caught up in some old story that I know is sucky--I always return to reminding myself to CLOSE MY EYES--BREATHE CONSCIOUSLY and DEEP until I TINGLE--go out and walk, sip that cappuccino, or nap, like a master, and I'm soon restored and at peace.

So PLAY with acting like a master--use that wonderful sense of personal humor...it's honestly the most profound advice I could share with you...

You don't have to spend decades, like I did, learning to walk like a master--from this point on, JUST WALK LIKE A MASTER. It's really that simple.

Much love and appreciation, my beloved fellow sovereign master- friends. I see you as such, and that's how I choose to interact with you...

You da Butterflies!

Related Posts:
Use "I CHOOSE" Instead of "I want" or "I need"

The Virtual Reality Game--A Grand Illusion

Perhaps this should be Chapter One of all my other blog posts, for I'm going to describe here metaphorically how I view this world as my personally unique reality-world-illusion--and how I am the source and center of its creation.

If you're a Star Trek: The Next Generation fan, you'll remember episodes where the characters went to the holodeck on their spaceship, the Enterprise, to play a virtual reality game. That's how I view my life and world:

I'm in the midst of a virtual reality game hologram that My Soul willingly CHOSE to experience and play. And I'm playing it alongside and with other souls who have freely chosen to play the game, as well.

I am the central pinpoint of conscious self-awareness in a bubble of biology that surrounds me--a hologram of potential experiences.

And that hologram constantly adjusts itself to match--and burst into beingness--whatever I radiate out from the center that I "feelingly"CHOOSE to EXPERIENCE. 

That hologram Universe co-creates for me my choices and accepted truths of the moment.

This view is the basis from which I write all the other ideas, and why I act the way I do, and make the choices I currently make.

Before I began awakening to my spiritual/divine self, I viewed myself as an actor on a stage, playing out a role someone else (God out there somewhere) had written for me. Often, I felt like a puppet on a string, with no power over my life or my happiness. All I had was a pre-determined destiny or fate, a path that forked in two different directions, towards the choice between two obscure and esoteric destinations--Heaven or Hell. Where I ended up when I died was determined by how I performed--whether I made "right" or "wrong" choices while I lived.

Then after several life-altering, and often shattering, experiences, I began to ask deeper questions about this stage I was on, the stories I was in, and the roles I was playing. The most important question I found myself asking was, "Who am I, really?"

No one outside of me seemed able to satisfyingly answer any of those questions, and that drove me to constantly go inward to discover my answers. Those were the only ones that I really trusted wholeheartedly.

I suddenly concluded that I wasn't just an actor in someone else's play--I was its author--I wrote the scripts and roles for others to play for me and with me. 

I was the co-creator/producer, director, set designer and the STAR of my own show playing roles of my choosing...And I was my best audience!

I realized I'd been UNCONSCIOUSLY writing and co-creating and acting and observing and experiencing my own "Let's pretend" play the entire time.

I began to ponder what I could create when I could do so KNOWINGLY--when I was FULLY AWAKE (not just a bored or upset robot actor going through familiar motions and established patterns--aka, belief systems--over and over again).

I noticed that I'd make a "mental choice" and try to envision it to make it more real, but I couldn't bring it into being if I didn't truly FEEL (actually believe) it as a possibility. Mere visualization techniques didn't work for me--I had to become aware of the emotions I was radiating out when making a choice. I had to get in touch with my heart (deepest desires) and sensuality.

I had a lot of unanswered prayers; and I had things happen (loved ones died) that I, as a lone human, didn't consciously choose but seemingly couldn't avoid or prevent either.

I realized that in order to get a better understanding of the play I had going, all I had to do was take an actual BREATHER from the story, step out of my current acting role on the whole stage and sit above it in the director chair, or back from it in the audience seats, in order to get a clearer view of the dynamics of the illusion.

I simply SHIFTED my PERSPECTIVE of the scene--expanded my awareness of all of it on many different levels.

I began to imagine what identities and roles I could immerse myself in for a bit without getting stuck in an experience I no longer enjoyed--all because NOW I was SELF-AWARE of my being the co-creating/expressing god of my own world of experience. My boxy world was thrown wide open to possibilities I'd never imagined before!

Essentially, I am now writing and creating and acting in a NEW PLAY--a new world. This new hologram is tailored just for me by a divine-human me who is finally AWAKE and in touch with all other aspects of MY SOUL!

I am no longer feeling like an all-alone insignificant little human begging for my little prayers to be answered--or not. And I'm no longer creating my life from that downer of a perspective.

I am the source and center of this Grand Illusion and Gift from the Source of All that I call my own life! And I've been passionately driven for decades to discover how to enjoy it as the gift I believe it was intended to be--and to live it my way, without harming anyone or anything in order to do so...

My blog has been written with this model in mind...

Click here to see related posts:
My Awakening
My Beloved Mirrors
The Blessing of My Dark Side
"I need..." Indicates the Sexual Energy Virus Is Present
What Story Am I Radiating?

"I need..." Indicates the Sexual Energy Virus Is Present

The next time you're in a busy shopping mall, grocery store, or superstore like Walmart or Target, find a spot where no one will collide with you, and close your eyes. Feel into the energies around you and flowing in you and through you--feel into what you're personally radiating out into your world. The mental and emotional energy I have always felt most prominent in such places is:

"I need..."

"I need something or someone in order to feel happy...to feel SAFE...to feel good about myself...to feel complete...to feel loved...to be accepted, noticed, appreciated..., etc."

A few years ago, this "neediness energy" would be such a bombardment of my senses that it literally stopped me in my tracks in the middle of the shopping mall or Walmart. It was embarrassing. I couldn't move either of my legs forward until I closed my eyes, took a self-compassionate (kind-to-myself) breath and centered myself in me in the moment. All it took was a couple seconds, but it would be frustrating when I would be trying to keep pace with my husband--he'd get exasperated having to slow up and wait for me because he didn't understand it at the time--ha!

My brother experienced the same thing. For a long time neither of us was too enthused about going shopping or into crowded places. While entering the grandstand area for a Taylor Swift concert at the hot and crowded ND State Fair, I found myself asking my husband to help me find a place to sit so I could get my head lower than my knees--I experienced nausea, the sweats, clamminess and dizziness, and nearly fainted. On our passage through the carnival rides on the way to the concert, I'd been meeting people's eyes (windows to souls)--and I was still learning at that time how I was taking on other's energy stories (empathing) and holding them as my own. That was another disconcerting moment which passed once I got a sip of water and some quiet breaths in a quiet spot. I enjoyed the packed concert without any incident afterward.  

Thankfully, I've gotten quite adept at just breathing and flowing all energies through me and haven't experienced this phenomenon while out shopping or while in huge crowds in more recent years. I have however, experienced lately that self-masters don't hurry while out walking (they saunter or run for the joy of it, but they don't rush because of time constraints), but that's a whole other upcoming post.

Any time you realize you or others ARE SEARCHING for something OUTSIDE of oneself in order to feel complete, safe, and accepted--you are dealing with what is known as the SEXUAL ENERGY VIRUS that permeates mass consciousness. 

The old consciousness energy of humanity has been off-balanced to the masculine and mental--a more aggressive, forceful energy. As the Feminine has come forth to take her place as a FULL PARTNER WITH the Masculine, the consciousness has become more compassionate and intuitive--and FORCE does not work in the new energy. SELF-AWARENESS and ALLOWANCE are the keys in the new world. I keep seeing PASSION as the divine masculine, and COMPASSION as the divine feminine--and the two dancing together in full partnership feels like the most wondrous of celebrations. But that's just my take on things.

Consciousness is Awareness of Self--"I am! I am aware that I exist." 

Mass consciousness is a term used to describe the myriad waves of SUGGESTIONS of what is emotionally or passionately believed to be truth by a large number of humans. Ideas like "This is just how it is in the world, and this is how you have to be, and what you have to do" are mass consciousness BELIEFS. These streams of consciousness are flowing all around, and in, and through our individual consciousnesses at all times.

Energy, which serves us unconditionally and abundantly, comes in to match our personally radiated consciousness-- emotions and passions--and pops into manifestation whatever potential we've focused our conscious attention on. This is why not all our thoughts manifest--only the ones that we're emotionally triggering, FEELING, or passionately focused on (even if we're trying to avoid those thoughts and feelings).

This is why it's important to be aware of what is going on inside of oneself at all times: "What am I radiating? Am I OPEN and FLOWING? Or am I barricaded in, closed off, protective of myself?" Most of us have been walking around, tightly wrapped, on the defensive or offensive, in survival mode--thus, we keep getting energies serving us by bringing forth things for us to fight in our manifested realities. If I'm radiating out that I have issues I need to resolve--if I have protective walls up in my energy field----the energies serve me by giving me issues to mess about with.

Energy Feeding is a symptom of the sexual energy virus, which is just like a physical virus that infiltrates weak spots in a physical body--only this is a virus in CONSCIOUSNESS. Humans feed off the energies of others in order to feel better about themselves or to feel more powerful. The core energy underlying any type of energy-sucking is a personal sense of powerlessness at not feeling able to FREELY live one's own life. It's grasping for CONTROL over one's life by trying to manipulate and handle the external reality. But feeding off others energetically only keeps one imprisoned in that reality landscape.

One of the most frustrating forms of energy feeders for me has been people who insist on being the victims in every aspect of their life. I actually sprint in the opposite direction when I see them approaching me. Ha!

If you contract a viral infection in your physical body, a medical doctor will most likely tell you to go home, drink plenty of fluids, manage the painful symptoms by using foods and symptom medications to keep energies flowing--and get lots of rest until it's run its course.

I would prescribe the same thing (except for the medications or drugs) in the case of realizing the presence of the sexual energy virus in a relationship with another being outside of you. Step back from the relationship--the presence of the others. Give yourself "a rest" from interactions with the party illusion. If you poke and prod around, and fight with a disease, it often just becomes more insidious and pesky and spreads like wild-fire. So it is with this virus.

Instead, disconnect, get out of your head (mind chatter yammering) and don't try to analyze or judge the situation to death. Simply breathe (walk, go for a drive, nap, get out in nature, or go in a room alone) to flow the energies through easier. Stories are less likely to stick to you if you simply CHOOSE TO ALLOW energies and feelings to FREELY FLOW through you, regardless of their form or charge. That means not trying to keep from feeling and thinking things you've judged as being "right" or "wrong." Just allow yourself to immerse in all of it--get the fullness of the experience. That is what our soul is after--simply an honest, authentic experience undiluted by Little Human limitations and programmed expectations of how we think a perfect human should be. Drink a bit of water, and immerse yourself in soothing baths, showers or pools (water is known to help flow consciousness)--literally wash away those troubles and pains.

If you truly want to release yourself from the situation, DO NOT commiserate and tell your stories to others to get sympathy.

First, accept full responsibility for having chosen to give yourself that experience in whatever issue. You don't have to have a justifiable reason--you simply chose an experience to get a better understanding, "just because." 

Then, when you can share the story with others from that perspective, you won't be perpetuating the virus through blame.

I know this is a hard one to resist--but commiseration and whining to others will perpetuate the energy-feeding for anyone involved, even those listening to your stuff.

"If it's in my life, I put it there, and I'm deriving some benefit from it."

We all fall off the horse with the venting and commiseration stuff at times, so be kind and self-compassionate--laugh at yourself, with yourself, and others--when you do.

Walk through life with a sense of humor about everything, and you'll realize you've mastered your life.

Give yourself the SAFE and SACRED SPACE time alone in order to help you step back out of the illusion enough to see it from a clearer vantage point. That way you'll become aware of other POTENTIAL CHOICES that you couldn't see while in the midst of the struggle of the energy feeding situation/illusion.

Because I'm confident in each of us having the answers for oneself within oneself, I now find it much easier to gracefully tell a loved one who wants to vent with me (energetically feed off) to just take themselves off for a walk alone and just breathe...and remember your own KNOWINGNESS.

The SEXUAL ENERGY VIRUS is not a conspiracy!

People use the terms "energy feeding" and "energy stealing" interchangeably, but I don't like to use the word "stealing" because it implies that we're "victims" of some "conspirator" or "perpetrator"--and a fight like that actually FEEDS the VIRAL ILLUSION, and keeps it in place LONGER in our reality of the moment.

Most of the time, humans are UNCONSCIOUSLY feeding off other's energies. You know, even the most evil-acting "energy stealers" are simply beings who are deep asleep in their own belief that the identity--the roles they play in this lifetime--is all they are. Please don't pity them or feel sorry for them--that feeds the "evil" story they have going even more. Just be aware that they are asleep, and there is nothing you have to do with them or for them. They're immersed in an experience of their choosing--don't play in it with them if it's not fun for you.

Be aware that people often share stories that instill fear in others in order to feed off those fear-triggered emotional energies--it's why conspiracy theories run so rampantly over the Internet these days.

You can simply choose to quietly disconnect your relations with energy feeders. Breaking ties with a person doesn't have to involve a knock-down-drag-out fight. If they persist by invading your personal space, just command, "NO MORE! I am done!" What others do outside of you need not affect you--if you CHOOSE. They're just enjoying immersing themselves in an experience--we all are. Keep it as simple as that.

Or you could nip it in the bud, as I've often contemplated, and walk around with a grin on your face and a button pinned to your lapel that reads:
"This boob is all dried up--go suck elsewhere."

As I've awakened, I've realized there is no desire, much less any need, to feed off the energy of anyone or anything outside of me. The soap-opera "neediness" just disappears.

When we were kids we used to tease Mom about watching the soap opera, General Hospital, while she ironed piles of our clothes. I even got addicted to watching Days of Our Lives when I went to college--it was a way to relate with fellow students at the time. I don't even watch TV these days, though we do rent movies, but that's beside the point.

I've lately become aware of how many of the people around me are living out these soap operas in their "real" lives. All of this energy feeding tells me that many humans are bored with the status quo about life--they're simply starting to search for more...and that's a good thing. That's exactly what happened with me in my own awakening.

My point is--don't fret! Don't worry about this thing called the sexual energy virus. Don't fight with it. Just be aware that energy feeding exists, and that you become less affected by it simply by realizing you don't "need" anything--everything you desire is right at hand IN YOU!

You just have to DROP the WALLS and open yourself to ALLOWING yourself to RECEIVE it with EASE and GRACE. No thinking, no judging about what's "bad" or "good," no trying to figure out how. Just breathe and open yourself up...breathe and open...flow...

Love yourself first--don't look for someone outside of you to complete and love you first. It just won't be enough for you until you love yourself first. The purpose of the Sexual Energy Virus is to return you to you--the real you, the "I AM" within...

Love and appreciate your own life--and your world, and joyful abundance in all aspects, will simply follow suit...



P.S. Playing in the dramas/traumas of the sexual energy virus is a seductive game--it's easy to get caught up in self-doubt and mental details that keep you worrying over things you can't control (and aren't meant to control). I realized this morning an easy way to pop myself out of playing in drama. Taking a conscious breath, I remembered this:

I KNOW within that we're playing games of 
Let's Pretend: 

• Let's pretend we've got a disease and we're fighting it, trying to cure it...
• Let's pretend so-and-so is dying and leaving us permanently...
• Let's pretend we just can't seem to get along...
• Let's pretend I'm poor and insignificant...
• Let's pretend you have POWER over me...
• Let's pretend we're fighting wars (pretty much like the Cowboys and Indians pretend games from my childhood)...

I KNOW that these human bodies are the costumes we don in order to play our pretend games.

I KNOW these human identities are simply an act--they aren't the whole or true me.

I KNOW I am the master creator of my own reality, and that I can simply choose to harmonize with all you other master creators.

I KNOW that All is well in All of Creation...

Links to related posts:

An "Ah-Ha-a?!" to Ignore

When it comes to enlightenment, you have to have a sense of humor...

I was returning home from a walk a few weeks ago, remembering moments when I was single and used to go to the local bars to socialize and dance. I experienced the fairly common occurrence of a random guy approaching me who was "several sheets to the wind," "deep in his cups," or--to use proper English--"pissed."

I liked to tell myself it was because they thought I was so smokin' hot that they thought they needed the "liquid courage."

My Ah-Ha! on the subject on this particular walk was:
What if it was just because I was one of those women who got better looking after he'd had a few, or--in my case--several, eyesight-blurring beers?

Life is a Gift, NOT a Test

Contrary to popular belief, I've realized for myself that life is not a test, a place where you have to prove yourself worthy of being--LIFE is a GIFT.

One simple statement with a huge life-transforming potency: "You are, your life is, a gift."

If you take a moment to close your eyes and feel into it, you'll become aware that most of humanity has been living his/her own life from the viewpoint of having to prove oneself through how well she performs through a series of life lessons--tests...and then we die...

What if the purpose for our life on Earth in human form was meant only as a method of self-discovery--to be a place to express and experience oneself? Doesn't every loving parent desire to give his/her child a SAFE and SACRED SPACE in which to freely choose to explore all there is to experience?

What if we don't have to prove our worthiness to anyone or anything? Proving one's worth is deeply ingrained in our consciousness beliefs--so much so, that most people are completely unaware of other easier paths. Paths like the one where life is viewed as a simple gift from an unconditionally loving Source of All that Is.

What if you don't have to fight and struggle against evil, but instead just need to compassionately and gently shake yourself awake from the nightmare or dreamworld you "believe" is reality?

Blueberry Muffins

Blueberry Muffins

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Grease/butter cups of a dark (browns bottoms better than aluminum) 12-muffin/cupcake pan.

Mix topping in small bowl and set aside for last step before baking:
1 tsp. finely grated lemon rind (zest)--should look like coarse mush
2 Tbsp. sugar

Using a wire whisk, sift together in a large bowl:
2 c. flour
1/3 c. sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt

Gently toss in the flour mixture until coated:
2 c. blueberries, fresh or frozen

Lightly whisk together in a small bowl:
1/4 c. butter, melted
1 egg, well-beaten
1 c. milk
1 tsp. pure vanilla

Pour the entire bowl of liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and blueberries. Stir lightly with a fork just until all liquid is absorbed (batter will be lumpy). Spoon into the 12 greased cups of the muffin tin, filling each about 3/4 full.

*Before baking, sprinkle each muffin with the lemon zest and sugar topping mixture.

Bake until golden brown--425 degrees for 20 minutes. Best served hot out of the oven, with a smear of butter, of course. Makes 1 dozen muffins.

Use "I CHOOSE," instead of "I Want" or "I Need"

I make it a conscious habit to use the phrase "I CHOOSE" instead of  "I want" or "I need."

First of all, the universe is very literal--so if I state, "I want to travel," I end up experiencing staying home, wanting to travel. If I say "I need money," the universe creatively manifests an experience that I need money for.

I am the source and center of my own unique world--and the universe supports me unconditionally by LITERALLY helping me co-create everything I CHOOSE.

I've learned it's important to not get too mentally specific about my choices, because that limits them manifesting in my life--often to the point that it actually stops them from materializing. Keep your choices FEELINGLY simple.

So in order to cover everything, I just say:

"I choose to ALLOW myself, with EASE and GRACE, to live my life with joyful, OUTRAGEOUS abundance."

And I leave it at that, and let go...

With that, there is no having to mentally figure out how to make it so, there is no action I have to take--I just ALLOW and breathe with ease...and later I find myself ooh!-ing and ahh!-ing at the magic of it all.

If I had kids, I'd definitely practice "I choose" statements with them. It empowers the individual, and that way parents no longer have to try to figure out how to give their kids all their wants and needs and desires. You'd have given them the greatest gift of all--the reminder of how to create their own.


P.S.
I wanted to keep this post short and to the point, but my husband and I were playing around with "I choose" versus "I want, need" statements, and I realized two more things:

First: CLOSE YOUR EYES and say each phrase out loud.

Notice that "I choose" FEELS and sounds MASTERLY and in control of your life.

And that "I want" and "I need" feel and sound WHINY--kind of like a poor, pitiful peon begging?

Secondly: My husband stated as he was leaving this morning, "I HAVE to go to work." Notice again, how it feels and sounds like "I'm a poor, pitiful, puppet-on-a-string"? 

I told him, "Put 'I CHOOSE TO' in front of that 'HAVE TO'--and then notice the difference." (CLOSE YOUR EYES again).

"I choose to have to go to work."

Suddenly you're aware that you're "having to go" to work because it's your choice as a self-master...and with that awareness, you can now make a new choice, if you choose...

Perhaps you'll choose to say instead:

"I choose to release myself from having to work."

*Rule of Thumb: Keep the word, "not," out of your choosing statements.
The co-creative Universe doesn't recognize the word, "not"--so I would recommend refraining from using it, or you'll end up choosing something you do not desire. For instance, according to the Universe,"I choose to NOT work" is pretty much the same as "I choose to work."*