Moving Beyond Prejudice and Into Enlightened Living

We are multi-dimensional beings. One of the things that means to me is that my soul has lived many lives in many diverse expressions. This singular life expression as "Penny" is just one act of multitudes.

And once I became aware of that, I realized the suggested prejudices that I'd made my truths in this lifetime, started to EASILY fall away and disappear. Because, you see, when I could imagine myself being of another race, gender, religion, culture, sexual orientation--and playing the full spectrum of roles from villain, victim, hero, coward, idiot, intellectual, healer, murderer, divine angelic being, maybe even a piece of mineral (way back in the Earth's beginning--ha!), to being a piece of Source/God also, etc.--I began to feel this amazing virtue called COMPASSION, an unconditional acceptance of all that is.

Compassion has no agenda. It realizes no one needs saving or fixing or pitying, because it honors each in one's own desire to simply have an experience in the safety of this Earthly playground illusion. When I'm compassionate, I see the gift for me--of whomever being exactly as they are, and I am--in the manner and the moment our lives touch.

Along with GRATITUDE for the wisdom my soul gained from all of this dense and gritty, only-of-its-kind experience.

Through the ages and even in this lifetime, alone, I have played all kinds of dark roles. You know, the icky ones, where people don't like you so much. And I've indulged in my share of prejudices and superstitious nonsense. At times, I was so immersed in the roles and played them so convincingly well that I, especially, couldn't stand myself--and then I'd feel, and believe I was, stuck in that identity--wondering how I was ever going to come out of this one unscathed, with my chin up and able to look anyone in the eye.

Most prejudices seem to have arisen out of the sense of one, a few, or many, driven by the fear for his/her own survival, trying to gain control of, or power over, the masses. We've all played a lot of games with one another where we've been trying to get control of our outer world by trying to adjust the mirrors--the reflections of oneself. This is called the sexual energy virus--energy stealing from, or energy feeding on, something or someone outside of oneself in order to feel complete and at HOME.

Superstitions and prejudices--energy stealing--get perpetuated through long-established belief systems (patterns) like religion, government, family, cultures. We blindly don't question that which has been repeated so often that we're unaware of even looking at it from a different perspective. And I'm amazed at how much superstition STILL influences our consciousness, thus our behavior and experiences.

I'm going to share a few personal secrets about disconcerting dreams I've had in my sleep in the past. According to the self-masters that I've had the joy of listening to, and sharing with, whenever we close our eyes to fall asleep at night, we actually release ourselves from this reality and return to our souls to re-balance and rejuvenate. We also expand, or travel inter-dimensionally (beyond linear time and space), into our soul's other life expressions.

Guess what! I've had dreams where I was a lesbian. It was very uncomfortable at the time because I wasn't at ease being anything other than heterosexual, and I certainly never planned on sharing that with anyone else-much less, here on this very public blog. But often, the most cruel homophobe is going to be someone running away from the fear of this sexual orientation being a possible reality in themselves.

Maybe when more such people realize that, there will come an end to abuse of those who are simply more different in the expressions and explorations of themselves than what is currently the accepted norm around them. It's certainly worth outing myself about some dreams I've had.

Yes--we're each very different and unique--a beauty and a gift that should really be celebrated. One day, that will be our reality...

I've also had more dreams, than I ever wanted, where I was getting more intimate, than I cared to admit to, with people who happen to play the roles of relatives in this current life expression of mine. In one particular recurring dream, I was married to this person and we had children. Now, when you take into consideration that we happen to just, by default, fall, or get sucked into, the same family lines due to ancestral karma--it makes sense, and takes away the fear that I might have some sort of incest leaning that I might need to get psychological therapy for.

Ancestral karma is the tendency we have to come back and play together in the same groupings of souls, simply because we're familiar with each other. In other words--I could easily have been my great-great grandpa or grandma. The beauty of karma is that you can SIMPLY CHOOSE to step off that wheel...and so it shall be no more...

In other words, from the moment of choosing, and onward, you can pick the souls you choose to play with on this playground. You've expanded beyond the old FAMILY belief system and its superstitions and prejudices--you know, the old and tired lines: "Blood is thicker than water...You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your families...You have a reputation to uphold...You're a reflection of our family--don't screw it up..."

Every single one of us loves unconditionally--and we have been doing so all along--just close your eyes and feel it. Unconditional love and acceptance isn't for some god out there separate from us--it's you, it's me. It permeates and is present everywhere, even when on the surface of things it appears to be complete chaos, drama, trauma and turmoil. That's just a bunch of actors having a grand time playing out a scene--A GRAND ILLUSION.

And now, my soul seems to desire to bring all the wisdom it's gained from its myriad life expressions to share with, and to take an active, hands-on role in, this particular expression that I AM--right now. How do I allow that to take place with ease and grace?

To paraphrase Adamus Saint-Germain (an ascended self-master very much loved and appreciated by me):

ACT (walk around or sit, be--upright, chin level, shoulders straight not hunched, stomach in, chest out, eyes twinkling, direct and unflinching, breathing easily) LIKE A MASTER--morning, noon and night-- until you realize (like all the ascended self-masters have done before) that ALL of this LIFE on Earth is JUST AN ACT...

I've been acting all master-y for quite awhile now. Not only does it feel good...it's A LOT of FUN!

What a GIFT--this GRAND ILLUSION...

Why Self-Awareness Should Take the Place of Comparison and Conformity

I recently went on a dreamwalk to a moment when I was eight years old. Adamus said we'd be surprised at the event that we found ourselves revisiting--it wasn't probably going to be the big one we expected. As always the case with any dreamwalk, we weren't to interfere with anything--not even to hug our eight-year-old self--we were there simply to observe, feel into it, and be a radiant presence.

I was a second-grader, who after having wandered back into the building at recess, was being lightly admonished by my teacher (whom I adored) for coming inside the school on my own during recess. I felt SO WRONG! So guilty! So ashamed! So stupid! 

And the only one accusing me of those things was--me!

Seems rather silly, doesn't it? My teacher couldn't have possibly known all that was going on inside of me. Here's the rest of the story:

I never attended a kindergarten. I just visited our little country school, Lone Tree School, a few times in order to see what it was all about. I remember being so excited about going to school so I could learn to read. Mom used to read me a story before every nap--one of my favorite things. When we went to town for groceries, I chose to spend my allotted twenty-five cents in the Rexall Drugstore on a comic book instead of candy.

I attended the little one-room school for first grade, and then it was closed. I went from being the only child in my grade to a classroom of at least twenty kids of like age. I still remember those anxious bees in my stomach my first days in "town school." Shy little kid that I was, I still wanted to fit in and play with the others with ease--but as we all know, that's not an easy thing to accomplish with such a diverse group of humans. Several of my classmates had already been together for at least two years, and some even more, if their families were neighbors and friends. It felt overwhelming.

Kids are highly sensitive creatures--I don't care how seemingly shallow the role each of us plays to the world outside.

Then add the testing (proving worth and accomplishment), the grading (subjective judgments), the inevitable comparisons and competitions, and the Weekly Reader guilt trips about all of us humans polluting the Earth--it turned into a dog-eat-dog world.

For the record--playing flashcards is a fine game for those that want to play, but if someone in a class full of kids is struggling to learn the subject matter, being beaten continuously by peers who are quicker studies may, or may not, be helpful in him/her learning the material. I honestly don't know if flashcards are even utilized that way anymore--it's just what was practiced when I was eight (1972).

When speaking about the consciousness of humanity and its common practices, one must always compassionately include context--time and place. We all are doing the best we know how, I don't care how it looks. Most of us have just spent more time unconsciously REACTING  TO our circumstances, and INTERNALLY trying to DEFEND our beingness.

Environmentalists--if you really want to change humanity's awareness and cultivate a more benevolent relationship with our beloved planet, I'd quit using blame, guilt and fear. Those tactics cause the human ego armor to flash to the forefront to protect its human at all costs. You nurtured a fight--a war.

There are ways to increase human awareness that don't involve force. Maybe the old villain wasn't aware that they were causing harm. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt, for starters.

And maybe some villains are aware of causing harm and are just GREEDY. Nasty word, isn't it? But when I look at the core energy underlying all that greediness, I simply see a scared, separate and all-alone feeling human trying to survive because they believe this is a dog-eat-or-be-eaten world.

Maybe the old villains can have a change of heart--just like the old villains in myself did--and will voluntarily change their ways without someone having to defeat them. If you have solutions, share them without making accusations. You might be surprised at the results.

Love of our planet should not be based in finger-pointing, guilt and fear while supposedly educating the population about the magnificence of it. Our Earth is a gift to each and all of us, and so is every life playing upon it and within it. I'd rather we encouraged nurturing an individual's consciously aware relationship of love and gratitude with it, and with each other. As sovereigns of our own lives, there is nothing and no one we need to conquer or try to control--especially not in the name of preserving or flowing abundance of ALL KINDS.

In country school, we could stay in or go out for recess--there were only six or seven of us total, so the teacher didn't have to worry about trying to keep track of all of us. I hadn't gone inside to make trouble. I was probably just cold. My confusion about the rules was understandable. The crux of the whole matter though, was, from then on, I resolved to know the rules ahead of time and to follow them, and be perfect--so I would never have to feel so ashamed and stupid again.

Well, we all know how that turned out...

BECOMING MORE SELF-AWARE has healed and resolved more perceived issues in my life than measuring myself by (or comparing myself to) others, conforming myself to "fit in," competing for attention, apologizing for being, unquestioningly following rules--AKA, trying to be the perfect human--ever did. 

It's amazing what can be discovered with some conscious breaths and a bit of FEELING INTO oneself...

What Story Am I Radiating?

I see myself as the projector of my reality experienced (I'm making an analogy here to the old movies, not the digitized ones in cinemas today). I'm the light source that shines through the film within me, and projects onto the BIG SCREEN--the world all around me. That screen reflects back to me (makes me aware of) everything I'm playing with inside of me.

I had layer upon layer upon layer of belief systems--films--that I had accepted as my truths that were emotionally triggering me (unawares) to experience old struggles over and over again--the only difference being maybe the faces of the actors and a new day. I tried controlling the actors--but trying to adjust the outside reflection doesn't change the source. I tried to resolve things by attempting to handle the emotions--trying not to feel or react in a certain way. But, again, that was putting the cart before the horse--trying to handle my reactions to the reflection, instead of being aware of what I was projecting.

I tried commiserating with a friend--but that only made the story and struggle more solid, bigger and stickier.

I've realized my resolution was to simply ask MYSELF--in a QUIET space of just ME:

"What story am I radiating into my world?"

.....and then I let it all go and continue about my day...no trying to mentally figure it out...because I KNOW I (ALONE) HAVE MY ANSWER...and it comes gracefully and with ease. It's just been a matter of asking the SIMPLEST QUESTION of me.

At this time, I no longer watch TV or the news--too much agenda and advertising that felt like a bombardment of energy that was haphazardly triggering my emotions and sucking my energies, though we do rent movies and sitcoms that I enjoy. I also read a lot of fiction. Every book and most movies that I just happen to pick up will have a sentence, an agenda, or a story line that matches that question. I'll know it by the emotions I feel triggered while reading or watching it.

Scattered throughout my home are pens, post-it notepads and tablets of paper, and this PC. When I find myself with a bit of insight floating through my mind or churning over an incident/story--I write the gist of it down to help me ground it in order to see it more clearly.

The story is ALWAYS right in front of me and once I recognize it, I can then re-visit it, CLOSE MY EYES and FEEL INTO IT--become aware--then of HOW I AM REACTING to it EMOTIONALLY, which is the impetus bringing it into my reality. Our thoughts don't all materialize--it's the ones that trigger an emotion that puts enough focus (charge) on them to manifest them in one's reality.

NOTE: Sometimes I realize I've been trying to avoid thinking thoughts or a story--that AVOIDANCE ENERGY is an EMOTIONAL radiance which still places a focus (a manifestation charge) on the story or thought.

All that's left to do, once I'm aware of MY FEELINGS with the story, is to TAKE a CONSCIOUS BREATH, STAND UP STRAIGHT AND FIRM INSIDE MYSELF, and simply realize it's ALL just an EXPERIENCE...

Simply feel it through--no judgment about it, no compromise, no negotiation, nothing to mentally figure out or fix...END of STORY!

...Ultimately, I SIMPLY REALIZE that I still exist, that I'm okay--no matter what the experience--and that All is Well in All of Creation.

I AM THAT I AM--SOVEREIGN of MY WORLD, MY BEINGNESS...

Good-bye, OLD WORLD, With Love & Gratitude

I think of this blog as a work of fiction. I think of my life as Penny as a work of fiction. The events of my past, and the feelings and perceptions I have regarding them--it's been my intention from the very beginning to be as honest and authentic as I can, because that's liberating for me.

It was a tug-o-war for awhile with my Little Human Mind Ego--she was afraid that if I was too honest, if I didn't try to portray her as more heroic, more perfect-acting and -reacting in every situation--that I might be throwing myself to the wolves.

Well, she finally feels at peace with what I have going here. Even to the point that we invite whomever stumbles upon this obscure little blog of ours to come laugh with me at my stuff. Everything is okay. It all worked out just fine--great even. I feel like I'm in a brand new world--like that whole Mayan calendar old-world-ending thing did happen. Whatever it was, things are lighter and easier and more graceful--less of a soap opera. Ha! I feel it right here inside of me (pointing to my gut and heart area)--ease of breath and being. And all that mind chatter in my head has gotten quiet at last. My eyes and lips are smiling, in tandem.

When it comes to my spirituality, I'm a very practical person--if an idea isn't simple and applicable to my daily life, I'll toss it. Tradition, ritual, dogma, processing, procedure, "this is the only way to do it," conspiracy, avoidance, denial, blame, preaching at, etc.--(power-stealing)--I've had my fill of all of them, and I CHOOSE to no longer play those games.

Simply put--I see ALL of life on this Earth, in ALL of Creation as a GIFT for me...and from here on out, I'm playing it out that way. With GRATITUDE and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and BENEVOLENCE.

I only began writing this blog because I never seemed able to get a book written--I attempted several over the years. Back in the spring of 2009, Tobias (www.crimsoncircle.com) urged each of us to come out of hiding--to start doing something creative to express one's authentic self to the world, and not to worry about getting ridiculed (the reason being, we should have been used to it by then--and it didn't really matter). When Adamus Saint-Germain took Tobias's place on the floor, he stated that in order to go forward we had to be present and participate--no more just dreaming our fluffy dreams that didn't seem to materialize, no more conspiracy fights, no more victimhood dramas. We were here to start living our dreams. If we weren't willing to step up and, instead, wanted to stay sleeping in our LayZ-Boy loungers, then he invited us to find a more appropriate spiritual group.

Fifty-seven blogs and 3 1/2 years later, I'm SO glad I did it! It still doesn't matter if no one else reads it, although it is my whole-hearted delight and honor when someone does. What I got out of the exercise is an understanding of how I awakened to who I really am. I used to read through my posts, old and new, and think, "Geez, Pen, you seem to be saying the same stuff over and over again." Yet it seemed fresh and different when I was telling each story.

But looking back now, I see the old and new consciousness energies that I was working with. Most of the posts seemed to be about saying good-bye to my dad. There was only one post with Mom in the title. Yet both parents were of huge influence in my awakening--I had the experiences I did with Dad BECAUSE OF the close relationship I enjoyed with Mom.

I was literally saying good-bye to my extremely dense, stuck, old world consciousness game that was out of balance toward the masculine and mental. This was metaphorically represented by my relationships with Dad, Kelly, Arlen and Max; and with the old established belief systems like family, religion, government, business. As you can see, the masculine has virtues we don't want to be without. I wasn't trying to conquer it--I was just trying to step off, and stay off, that old roller coaster ride.

I realize now that I was actually doing--while still alive and physically incarnated--what I believe happens in DEATH:

I was releasing myself from the old stories by revisiting them and seeing the valuable wisdom my soul gained from all of it, and, in the end, I found myself BLESSING IT with unconditional love and gratitude as it departed my reality.

Stating the same ideas over and over again throughout the blog by telling different stories, was essentially my way of keeping focused on my choices, to help me disengage from the seduction of my old identity and the traumas/dramas of the world around me. I would have these amazing, profoundly magical insights one moment, and in the next breath find myself back playing in the old dramas by automatic defaulting habit. It felt like a bombardment of energies--it was very exhausting and challenging at times to keep myself above the swirling and crashing water waves of mass consciousness. And the frustrating thing was, that the more I struggled and battled against the old ideas, the more entangled in them I got.

Adamus constantly reminded us (when finding oneself anxious and struggling) to JUST BREATHE some conscious, self-aware breaths, TRUST YOURSELF, and remember THAT ALL IS WELL IN ALL OF CREATION.

I did this because it resonated with me, and it worked...I breathed, and I breathed, and I breathed and I breathed....

Mom and I, my sisterhood friends--human, and pets like Molly--represented the divine, compassionate, intuitive, yet strong feminine who were, in essence, the women BEHIND the men in the old story. The female characters represented the once suppressed FEMININE coming out of the background to compassionately balance our reality illusion as a FULL PARTNER with the MASCULINE in all of human consciousness--regardless of gender.

This was all done in order to bring forth a NEW CONSCIOUSNESS REALITY GAME BOARD--a reality in which I am now aware that I am the co-creator of it, with just a hint of an idea of how to go about manifesting what I desire. 

In the old game, I was an UNCONSCIOUS co-creator of my reality: a separate-, all-alone-, insignificant-feeling Little Human battling the world around me, in an effort to simply survive.

I have a story in the works about an aspect--a past-life expression--of my soul, The Dark Lady, and me. It was originally the title of this post, but now feels like it may be the start of a brand new blog for this brand new world...we'll see...

With love,
The BENEVOLENT REBEL

The Nature of Debate: The Argument Perpetuater, Resolution Procrastinator

Mental debate and argument--has an actual resolution ever come out of the process? And by resolution, I don't mean compromise. I mean win-win for everyone. I mean an actual solution to a perceived problem, where it is no longer an issue, end of story.

Here are some debates that come to mind: Abortion, Gun Control, Politics, Tax. For as far back as I can remember being aware of them as issues, I've heard and read a lot of arguments on both sides. Some make sense, others just make my eyes roll. But I have yet to hear an actual applicable solution come out of any debate over them--lots and lots of words, little substance. Too many are just trying to win their chosen side of the argument--kind of like our American football games. 

I know it's an ego-thing running the show, yet I also "really know" at the heart of the matter, deep in the core of each of us, most of us want a change--not a compromise, but a true solution, a win-win for all. Only most of humanity doesn't believe it's possible, so few actually consider going beyond the debate. That would mean getting quiet and opening their hearts and looking inside themselves for the solution. Most people are afraid of who they really are--that was me at one time. Add trusting thyself to the mix, and well...things feel like they come screeching to a halt, don't they. So back to the debate we default, and around the mental merry-go-round (or misery-go-round) it goes.

When I look back at my education experience--I was taught how to debate and how to mentally figure out problems using methods and established patterns. In public speaking, we were given a side to take and then had to come up with arguments to defend that side--even if we didn't fully agree with that, or either, side. In math problem exercises, I had to show every step of my reasoning to the solution. I've seen a lot of young people who "just knew" the answer to the problem, but didn't show their reasoning--and they got docked points, even though they'd arrived at the correct answer. 

Our intuitive, inner knowingness doesn't currently get cultivated in our school systems--at least not on a large scale that I can see yet. Nor does exercising our hearts--things like compassion for, and unconditional acceptance of self--which, I've discovered, then leads to my ability to extend that outwards to others with ease. The old school system curriculum is all pretty mental yet--based on creating intellectuals. I've met some great intellectuals who weren't very adept at honoring and respecting others--they simply didn't have the experience in sensitivity to cultivate that.

There was talk of asking questions with open-ended answers even twenty years ago when I was taking education classes, but I'm not sure any of us really grasped what that elusive concept meant back then. I know I was a bit afraid of the idea at the time, especially how to teach using that approach. You have to let go of control and not use the old standards of measurement. Kind of blows the grading approach out of the water.

We're taught to make laws and follow rules and we're expected to conform to some outside idea of how we're supposed to be (politically correct). We're told to care about the planet and how to take care of her (recycling) but not how to freely nurture our individual relationship with her.

When was the last time you had a discussion anywhere about claiming your own sovereignty, much less discussed it in school or at home with your family? Does it seem like a foreign impossibility? Have you found yourself ridiculing the idea simply because you didn't understand it?

In grade school, I was taught how to balance a checkbook--an exercise that actually perpetuates lack consciousness. We only have a limited amount to work with so we'll make compromises and allocations and try to cut costs in order to have just barely enough. Flowing abundance wasn't even a blip in my formal education awareness. And here we are, still trying to balance the budget? Oh, looky there--another debate...any time I hear talk of balancing that budget, all I hear anymore is blah, blah, blah.

I was taught I had to have a perfect work ethic in order to earn my way properly--and that if life flowed too abundantly easily for me, then I was doing something wrong. For anything to have proper worth, you need to sweat blood and tears to have it. We've been a society trading and competing in angst.

We've been taught to compare ourselves, grade ourselves, be slaves and compete. How about encouraging each person to "get to know thyself"? And we're not all writers--so the arts are extremely helpful in exploring oneself--yet many schools are without them in the curriculum, due to LACK consciousness, and society's idea of what is important. Is it really any wonder then, that some kids just blow up--just like certain adults at times? What good are facts and figures when you feel absolutely yucky about yourself and your life? Does the cultivation of an ace debater make for a better life?

I have nothing but the utmost appreciation for teachers--past and present--but we need to expand our consciousness so they can freely teach today--in the moment--with the intuitive passion and compassion that I know the true teacher has. That compassion and acceptance thing begins at home, right inside you, moms and dads. Really, is any of this debatable?

Rules used flexibly as a guideline have been of the best service to me, rather than the all or nothing, polar opposite ends of the spectrum ideas that seem to find their way into arguments.

I generally don't pick up hitchhikers. But the two times I did stop, I was listening to my intuition and heart--not my head. And they were both benevolent experiences. With the second instance, I had decided ahead of time that when I arrived in Belfield, I was going to give a hitchhiker a ride if I saw one there. And sure enough, there he was. I had driven a few miles down the road with him before I recognized him. He was actually someone I had treasured enough to want the chance to meet him again in order to tell him thank you for his treatment of me years ago. Though I haven't had the nudging to pick up a hitchhiker since, flexing that rule in that moment gave me that opportunity and blessing.

Back in the days when I was reading the Bible, I was always amazed at how Jesus seemingly pulled a solution out of nowhere whenever a Pharisee or someone else tried to trip him up by bringing him an argument that seemed to have no solution without Jesus compromising himself. I'd expect him to have to pick a side and then defend it, but he actually resolved it without picking a side. He'd gone outside the box of expectations. And I wanted to do that myself, in my own life.

For example, when presented with a woman accused of adultery by her husband, I anticipated him picking either the side of the wife or the husband. But he picked neither. His reply was something like, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone..." And everyone walked away. 

This is probably why I see it as silly to get involved in the relationship between two other people by taking a side. I've found it best to encourage people to feel into themselves first, and then to communicate from their heart to the other person (not me) what they really desire in their relationship. It's so damn easy to tell everyone what's wrong that we've forgotten how to express what we truly desire to each other. It's a challenging shift, I know--whining came so easily for me, too.

Is being the winner of an argument more important than a true solution? 

"I TOLD YOU SO!"--is being right more important than connecting at the heart?

Is the debate a distraction?...only you can determine that for you. 

I listen to a lot of arguments, but in the final moment, I'm aware that I always walk away from it  determined to do it all my own way anyway...Does that make for wasted breath and words?...probably...

I Don't Like Diagnosing or Labeling Dis-ease: Here's Why...

"I am"--it's one of the most powerful reality-creating phrases I know, when it's loaded with emotional energy that gives it its creative potency. Which is why I don't use it without being aware of what I'm truly feeling about myself inside.

I always feel myself cringing whenever I'm reading a book or watching a movie where a character is attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and I hear them say these lines, "My name is fill in the blank, and I am an alcoholic."

Because, the belief system FELT behind that statement says that once you are an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic--a permanent, unchangeable way of being.

That's NOT the way I believe anyone to be. Have people abused alcohol, drugs, food, doctoring, their sexuality, etc. as a means to escape their life, numb their feelings, cope with pain, get attention and love, and all that? Of course--YES! We all do a lot of weird shit when we're asleep in having forgotten who we are and our connection to our Source. It doesn't mean that we will continue on that same path--we can, if we choose--but we can also choose other paths. If enlightenment is one of your choices, I contend that you'll one day be able to enjoy a glass or two of wine, or whatever, without harm. 

Is it wise to abstain from drinking alcohol for a good period of time after having used it abusively? OBVIOUSLY, YES! Dry yourself out, en-lighten up (get honest with yourself about yourself), learn to laugh at yourself and the antics and roles you played in the past, and, most importantly, forgive yourself. 

If forgiving yourself means--for you--that you feel the desire to apologize to others for the pain you caused them in the past when you were asleep, then do it--because the better you feel about yourself right at this moment, the more compassion you rain upon yourself, the more you then freely radiate out into your world. Life opens up.

I haven't played the alcohol/substance abuse game, but I have done and said things that I regret. And while it helped me to apologize personally at times, I knew the one I hurt wasn't interested in my rationalizations of why I did or said the harmful things I did in the past. I just wanted them to know I was sorry to have hurt them--end of story.

Same idea applies to people who get themselves diagnosed physically or mentally. Imagine for a bit how that label causes you to perceive yourself--the emotion-filled stories your mind concocts. People who get diagnosed for cancer often perceive that as a death sentence, or a fight for life. People labeled with mental illnesses such as bipolar believe themselves to be that something's-chemically-wrong-with-me way, permanently--and they act out the role permanently--whether they stay on their medications or not.

Saying, "I AM a dis-ease of some sort" is pretty much a way of saying "I am a VICTIM of LIFE." That is a perception that gives me the heebie-geebies! Victims of their own lives are energy-suckers--and I won't tolerate being in their presence any more--I've had my fill. I don't care about the stories people play in--that's each individual's free choice of experience.

Close your eyes and FEEL INTO what all those labels mean to you.

People who call themselves diabetic will live out the reality of being a diabetic, and their pancreas will support that reality whole-heartedly, as long as that person feelingly believes (not just a mind thought or mantra) that to be a permanent state of being for themselves. Our bodies honor our beliefs about them.

I encourage everyone to invite their bodies back into a relationship with oneself. Are you one of those people like I used to be who looked in the mirror and only saw flaws? When is the last time you hugged yourself, or even touched yourself, feeling thankful for your own being?

And what if our bodies are NATURALLY self-balancing and self-healing? But because we've been taught to look at all the wrong and bad stuff that can happen in ourselves, and thus, in the world--and feelingly believe it all to be so--our bodies, in loving service to us, match our beliefs about the suggestions we accept as our own truths.

What if our overwhelmed, information-overloaded, "intellectual" human minds and emotions have gotten in the way of this whole body of consciousness's simple and natural ability to self-balance and flow through life abundantly and easily?

What if applying the latest fad medication, vitamin, diagnosis or diet is causing your body more harm than help? Isn't all of that pretty much the same as telling your body, "You don't know how to take care of yourself naturally"?--AND SO IT IS!

 Am I urging you to drop cold-turkey all medications for all these diseases and labels you've gotten? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! You'll possibly do more harm to yourself than help if you've been taking those medications for awhile, and then suddenly drop them. Just FEEL into yourself...and start listening to that which is within you--YOU! Breath at a time, moment by moment...

All I am encouraging everyone to do here, is to start having a real relationship with yourself as a WHOLE Body of Consciousness (body, mind, spirit, inner knowingness). 

Invite your body to NATURALLY take care of you the way it knows best--invite your divinity/spirit to guide you into freely living. Don't be surprised if you initially find yourself sick and laid up for a bit. It's your Body of Consciousness saying, "Hon--let's just get quiet for a bit, rest--eliminate some really putrid, obsolete stuff--so you and I can get to know one another all over again..."

Simply become aware of your "I AM..." statements and consider the possibility that EVERYTHING is TEMPORARY--and the only way we continually experience a certain longevity of something in our life is because we're choosing it to be so--on some level--and that we're getting some benefit from it being present.

For me, the key in all of those dis-eases and losses was merely the fact that I WANTED TO WAKE MYSELF UP TO WHO I REALLY AM so I could finally MORE FULLY live and enjoy this experience of life on Earth while in human form.


Related Posts (Click on the highlighted titles):
Physical Symptoms of My Awakening Self-Awareness
Physical Symptoms of My Awakening, Part 2
My Candid Heartfelt Thoughts about Cancer

Weaponry, Wars and Killing: It’s All Barbaric Bullshit

And I’m sick and tired of hearing and reading all this debate on the issue of guns, weapons, wars, conspiracies by those who are just spouting macho crap and haven’t really spent time alone with themselves to contemplate and feel into it fully.

Here's something to contemplate and feel into: 

What is the difference between a government sanctioned military act that has "collateral damage" (killing of innocent civilians-even if unintentional) and a deranged individual using an automatic weapon of war in a school of children? Is one MORE RIGHTEOUS than another? Is one life less precious than another?

Awhile back there was an article in the news about a man who had lived without having to eat anything for forty years. I’ve come across other materials that have stated this is possible—and it actually resonates with me, though I haven’t tried it out yet. In the article, some people not only doubted the truth of it, but it was said that the military was looking into it in order to make a better soldier/weapon. Yeah, I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it, too. Here was something to look more closely at as a possible means to end world starvation—and someone’s looking to turn it into a means of overpowering others. Okay, I’m rolling my eyes again.

For those of you who think the government, by law, should regulate or forcibly take away something from anyone—especially here where those government representatives are supposed to be serving you, the sovereign of your life (if you choose it)—take a look at history. Any time force is used, you get a reaction—just like the one you’re getting regarding gun control. You’re getting people pissed and you’re creating a situation where the defenses go up. Hot-headed people are NOT thinking clearly. You just created a situation of civil unrest.

And honestly, since when has any regulation entity provided you with true and complete security?

I’m done with LACK consciousness, where someone has to lose in order for someone else to win.

I look forward to the day that every single country/sovereignty voluntarily dismantles their military. When weapons are completely obsolete because each individual has looked deeply into his/her heart and discovered they would like to be an influence in flowing abundance and self-empowerment in the world, rather than the controller of it and feeding off of fear.

Maybe we can just be neighbors who are no longer out to try to control, or use, each other. Granted, this wish of mine seems far out in the future of possibility. But, frankly, if you desire it to be so, you have to first express that desire, that vision. And I look forward to THAT day.

As for those of you stockpiling weapons in order to self-righteously defend yourself and family. Oh, the movies and TV make killing another person look so easy and so righteous—even romantic. Might want to determine whether what you’re killing is actually evil, or if it’s some mentally crazed fear inside of you pointing a warped finger of blame at someone outside. Maybe you should sit down with a soldier who’s served in those dumb-ass wars—you’ll probably get a hint that when it all is said and done, killing is not so easy, and macho isn’t the glorious thing it’s made out to be. Hell--I wince any time I see road kill.

I’d like to think that if someone had a solution to gaining our independence well over 200 years ago without having to fire a single shot, that the founders of our nation would have gone with that instead of a war. But human consciousness and awareness and technology and communication was different then, wasn’t it—so don’t try to make what worked in the past, your truth for today. Imagine beyond that…

I love this earth and the life that populates it, and I’d really like to experience living together in peace and acceptance and gratitude—really, what is there to argue about? Look at all the energy, lives and time wasted…for what?…

My personal armor is off, my weapons are no more….