Grudge or Gratitude?

"Giving thanks for ALL parts played--whether right, or seeming wrong..."

I was literally driving down the highway when the inspiration and feelings for the lyrics and melody of the following song came to me. It was all about going beyond just forgiveness, to actually FEELING SINCERE GRATITUDE for the hard parts in my life--and for the many beings who played the tough "betrayer" roles that I had scripted for someone to act out for me. All of it done just so I could see myself a little more clearly. My personal clarity made those old roles obsolete, thus the actors were released from their old character parts. I set them free to be with me in a new, more uplifting manner for all of us--if we both chose to do so. Sometimes, we just freely go our separate ways.

Holding grudges did not sit well with me, though I have experienced having my share of them. In family or relationship squabbles, I had a difficult time choosing sides--because I often loved both parties. When it came to conspiracies or fighting someone that I believed as being wrong and bad, revenge or killing them didn't feel appropriate either--I wanted justice for all in the form of a loving and compassionate and forgiving resolution. I wanted the evil stories to no longer exist. I believed we could all change for the better, and that we could make amends that were real, and mutually fulfilling, for any harm we ever caused when our blindfolds were on.

From the very beginning of my awakening, I knew that the keys were to JUDGE NO MORE, to UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE (kindly accept) MYSELF and EVERYONE ELSE, and to FEEL GRATITUDE for EVERYTHING. By choosing to perceive everything as a GIFT to ME, I've had the sense that everything would then work itself out from there on.

Because I finally see myself with so much more clarity, I no longer need someone to act out the dark parts of the aspects of myself that I was once unwilling to acknowledge, much less, unconditionally accept. In this new conscious awareness, that has become an obsolete tool.

As the author of my own personal world, I chose to quit writing those old stories. I see the GIFT that they were to me in helping me remember, to UNVEIL, my true self, my I am--the part of me that I had FORGOTTEN for so many ages. After blessing my past with gratitude, I'm now ready to write some brand new material--to create a brand new world reality for myself from the place of KNOWING WITHIN who I am, while benevolently honoring the sovereignty of all others, as well.

I stepped out of my old and singular human character identity and sat in the audience, so I could see it all from a greater and grander, divine perspective--from the perspective of all that I am. I found I could then actually enjoy these amazing temporary stories being played out by all of us together, for ourselves, and in service to each other, on this Earthly stage. I can smile as I watch these divine humans throw themselves into acting out their many parts, enjoying their moment on the stage of life, even when some don't appear, on the surface, to be enjoying it.

And all those things I once felt pressed to try to figure out, to fix, to control--well, I realized it's all okay, and that there is nothing to fix with this gift. I can easily allow, now, all of us our freedom.

The transformation is incredible to both observe, and to experience--truly this is a time to celebrate all that we are.

All of this transpired because I CHOSE--and kept choosing--to replace all my old grudges with GRATITUDE...

These Are My Footsteps

I was driving down the highway,
Thinking through my past,
When suddenly, it came to me,
As clear as crystal glass!
I have thanked you for the good times,
It's time to thank you for the bad.
All the parts we play, you see--
Show me who I am!

Chorus:
These are my footsteps,
My battles--
A contrast, every one--
To the Light which I see within me
Dawning as the sun!
The love that I sought was in me,
Buried 'neath the film.
From the sorrows of a blinded heart
To the joys
Of opened eyes!

Thank you to the doctors
Who could not cure my ills.
All you seemed to see was the "sin" in me,
Which we tried to fix with pills.
It made me look past my pained condition 
To the perfection that's my Soul.
I never would have seen it,
Much less, believed it--
Had you done anymore than god's will!

Mom and Dad, you know that I have adored you
From the moment I was born.
Imagine my dismay, when I found one day
That to your views I'd not conform!
It made me look deep inside,
And question my pride,
For with this, I must not be wrong!
But what better way to see the strength of my faith--
Than have to "go against" the two of you...

To the lawyers who lost my cases,
All the systems that seemed to fail--
You always seemed to be 
Persecuting me, condemning me to jail!
It made me look at my shameful judgments, 
To the forgiveness of myself.
I finally dropped all my guards,
And hugged myself hard, 
And I loved me through all my travails...

Chorus:
These are my footsteps,
My battles--
A contrast, every one--
To the Light which I see within me
Dawning as the sun!
The love that I sought was in me,
Buried 'neath the film.
From the sorrows of a blinded heart
To the joys
Of opened eyes!

Related Posts:
Good-bye Conspiracy Theories--Especially, Satan
Forgive Yourself: We're All Just Role-Playing Together