Are You Short, To the Point--Or Long-winded and All Over the Map?

I SO appreciate those people who can tell a good story or joke. I have family members who are amazing and funny storytellers, but I didn't inherit that particular gift. There is a reason I write my stories down. I can edit and shorten and clarify my points--cut out the excess that otherwise seems to haunt and lengthen my tales.

There's a joke about men using few words to get their points across, and women being flaky, long-winded and off on many varied tangents before arriving at a conclusion--and then apologizing for taking so long. Let's face it--that profile fits me to a T, and the previous sentence reinforces that sentiment.

I've always felt a bit embarrassed and sensitive about this aspect of myself. For years, I struggled with leaving my sentences and thoughts incomplete, dangling out in dead air while I searched for that suddenly elusive word that was JUST THERE, only to give up and mumble to an unimpressive conclusion. Yesterday, as I was sitting in the bathtub (and, yes, this is an important part because some of my best ah-ha!s happen in the bathroom and I thought you should know that), it occurred to me what's actually going on. It's to do with which side of the brain we're predominantly using.

The masculine side of the brain is the LEFT hemisphere. It helps us perceive ourselves as a sovereign, separate entity from the rest of our creation. It's logical, handy with words and language and reasoning. Its awareness is very linear and time/space-oriented. It's a beautiful and important part of us. Its perception of oneself as being a unique individual allows our soul to have all these human experiences which is distilled into compassionate and joyful wisdom.

The feminine side of the brain is the RIGHT hemisphere, and it links us to our spirtual or divine facet--our soul. We intuitively feel and see our connection to everything that is, and divinity doesn't give a crap about time or space.

"My Stroke of Insight" author and brain research scientist, Jill Bolte Taylor, shared her story of having a stroke, a blood clot in the left hemisphere of her brain. Because of only being able to access her expansive, beyond time and space, right-brain hemisphere, she said she couldn't discern her arm or hand from the wall. It all blended together--she was EVERYTHING. (Google Jill Bolte Taylor, TED Talk, "My Stroke of Insight").

So here is why the stories I try to share out loud can get so convoluted and long: 

I am using the creative RIGHT BRAIN hemisphere, so I feel and see the connectedness of every aspect of a story. And I often only become aware of the importance of an aspect as I am telling my story. Even the simplest, often overlooked little tidbit suddenly becomes important because like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, every piece helps to create a whole-FEELING picture. Only, the pieces come together from different places in time and space--from the past, now, out of left field, within, without. Basically, I am channelling my soul--that pinpoint of awareness that "I exist!"--where time and space don't exist, where limited linearity is replaced by expansiveness. Getting to the point doesn't matter because I AM THE POINT.

Obviously, both genders have access to both brain hemispheres, but due to old customs and cultures, we often accept as our truth the suggestion that women are more right-brained intuitive, while men are more left-brained logical. We've practiced that suggestion for so many eons it's become one of those "this is just the way men are, and this is the way women are" beliefs. It's time to quit separating them, and recognize that we all NEED, and can access and utilize, both qualities--masculine and feminine/logical and intuitive. Practice being both to get the best of who you are.

Some people can talk circles around me, and, with just a few words, make even the most convoluted, twisted idea seem to make reasonable sense.When this happens, I walk away feeling like I'm not even going to try to share my ideas on the subject because I can feel they are certain their perspective is the only right one. I can feel the wall between us. They aren't seeking to connect--they are seeking to be right, no matter what the cost.

Writing words is a left-brained exercise which, in conjunction with my right-brain-inspired stories allows me to both more clearly and empathetically relate to all of you through story-telling. I'm done apologizing for my lack of speaking prowess. I'm so appreciative and honored by all who so compassionately allow me to express myself safely when I do speak. You are such a gift to me! I don't seek to drain your time or energy. I am simply reaching out to make a connection with each of you--parts of my world and creation that I find fascinating and wonderful. And with practice and a growing self-trust, I get better at being more succinct.