Yes! There IS Life after Death

Yes, life continues on after death, but you have to open up your heart and your mind to the possibility, first.


Life is eternal. Death is just changing from one form to another.


Love lets go--completely!

You have to be willing to completely let go of everything and everyone. SET YOUR CREATIONS--all of your characters--FREE. Leave not one single string or strand attached. Totally let them all go--so they can freely return to you in a grander way.

Several months after our cat, Molly, died (after I'd come to the conclusion on my own that there was a good purpose in the whole experience for me), a woman told Adamus Saint-Germain that she'd also recently experienced the loss of her pet, and that she was having a difficult time with it. Adamus responded by asking her if she could completely release her pet, so that the pet could return to her in a far grander manner than what either of them had experienced before. His response matched my own conclusions surrounding Molly, and later, Max. I just had to constantly remind myself to stay open to new possibilities, especially when surrounded by the consciousness of those journeying through the loss of their own loved ones in the old, established traditional ways.

A great deal of energy--in forms such as efforting and finance--is expended, and copious acres of precious land are used up, by our determination to hang onto our past creations and roles--our loved ones. Take a realistic look at how much overall energy we direct to trying to handle, control and even avoid death--which, thankfully, is a sure thing for all of us at some point here on earth. When we try to preserve bodies through embalming, or cryogenically freezing them for re-animation at a later date, etc., we're not giving our creations freedom. We're keeping them entombed in a dead, imprisoned, stagnant and unnatural state of being.

It's why cremation, in my old energy consciousness, was my chosen form for dealing with my corpse, if I happened to leave one behind. Fire transmutes--it sets us free of our old physical state of being, and ashes don't litter the earth or carry diseases. Cremation, after a physical death, allows us to later return to embodiment on this earth, free and clear of all of our old stories and identities. We can still visit them--our pasts--but we're no longer stuck in stories that we don't desire to be in. Look at all the land filled with corpses--cemeteries no longer usable for any other resource except storage of the dead. I appreciate and love history, but I don't think we need to preserve it in such a way that it crowds out the living of life in the right now moment.

And I'm truly finally seeing the extremely strong possibility that we don't have to leave physical bodies behind anymore for disposal. And that, yes, there is a gift in Death. But in order to see it, embrace it, and start a new conscious--and different--experience of it, I'm going to have to first be completely HONEST about my perceptions and experiences and feelings surrounding it.

In order to clear the way, make room for, the brand new, I'm going to have to let go of a lot of old suggested ideas (ages-old) about "this is how you experience death"--which are that you're basically supposed to grieve and feel like shit.

In the past, I mourned my loss. I mourned what happened. I mourned what could have been, and wasn't. I mourned what could no longer be. I'm depressed just re-visiting the feeling of those prior statements.

In place of the grieving, how about celebrating and toasting the human character role that was played so convincingly well--the dark and the light aspects--by a spirit choosing to be temporarily incarnate in an earthly biology/body for the sole purpose of  expressing, experiencing and discovering oneself, while in the company of others on like journeys? For the joy of experiencing reality in such a profoundly sensual way, unequalled by any other? How about allowing myself to interact with the spirit of the departed right here, right now--regardless of their form, and my form of being?

With an expanded consciousness, there becomes enough room on this planet for all, when we realize that we are free to embody and leave scenes and settings/stages in a manner beyond the old 3-D time and space. When we can slip in and out of our bodies at will, never leaving behind a corpse for anyone to have to bury, burn or dispose of--the earth is free of a bunch of old bones--and sorrows. Elijah, of the Old Testament, did this. Kuthumi Lal Singh--a self-master--did this. I've been writing all about role-playing, knowing that's what I've been doing all along. It's just that I hadn't quite put it together this way with death. Death has been a fearful and traumatic and sticky issue for me.

I recently more fully realized this about death, after spending a few hours this spring working in our yard--it hasn't been easy. I can walk miles lately, pain-free, and with ease and joy. Three years ago, I had to temporarily give up walking because of lower back and leg pain.

This transformation into a brand-new light body, from the DNA out into the entirety of my physical biology, has been quite an experience. There has been joy and enlightenment, and there has been pain and discomfort, frustration and consternation. Lately--my body temperature zings from cold and clammy to hot and sweaty in an instant, and then back again in the next moment. My right heel gets really warm sometimes. I get the odd pains in my feet and legs--often it's in the middle of the night when I'd like to be zonked out sleeping. I've had psoriasis patches (some that lasted for years, others for months) that have finally faded. Occasionally, I'll awaken with some pains in my stomach or sides--but they pass after I take a few deep breaths, and calm and reassure myself that I'm okay, it's just my body changing.

Old mindsets like to call the temperature swings menopause, and while I am chronologically 50 years here, I'm also aware that men are experiencing this symptom as much as women are. The entire biology of humanity is changing, regardless of what people want to call it. I don't care what someone else chooses to call it--for me, it's simply enough that I am changing on all levels. All my old identities and stories and obsolete biology and beliefs are simply dying--only this time around I'm staying incarnate, very much alive, on the planet while it's happening.

I've regained my ability to walk, but I still find it difficult to squat, bend, or kneel to garden. It's changing the positions that is challenging. An hour or two spent clearing all the old plant debris (last year's carcasses) away, and disposing of it, has left me hurting for hours afterward--and it's caused me to reflect on death, and how difficult I have made it be for myself.

This whole death thing has to be easier, disease-free, trauma-free, and tragedy-free. And there has to be a way to quickly and easily and freely transmute our bodies when we desire to let go of playing a certain character role--whether temporarily or permanently. Adamus and Tobias have told about freely stepping in and out of a physical bodily form, in order to interact with humans (ascended masters who took their energetic bodies with them on leaving physicality are supposedly able to do this). But they said that it was hard to stay incarnate in their own energetic body longer than a few days when in the old human consciousness reality prior to 2012. *(This is different than channeling, where a cooperative human consciously chooses to step aside to allow a spiritual entity, or higher self, the use of their body temporarily as a method of communicating with humans). The post 2012 consciousness energies are supposed to support our ability to more easily do that--but our bodies and minds need to upgrade, make a shift in biology--in order to be able to do it, and that is what is taking time.

It's been challenging for me to step out and stay clear while still living in the old, very prolifically dense, consciousness surrounding death--I've been afraid that people will think I'm cold-hearted and uncaring. But I can't control how others perceive me, and I've finally realized that it's more important to me to get a better understanding of death, and to go beyond it, than it is to be on any one's "favorites" list.

When I first saw my 23-year-old boyfriend's corpse lying in that casket, my impression was that he was no longer there. I had the distinct feeling that I was looking at a cold, lifeless shell, no matter how much make-up the mortician sympathetically applied, no matter how fine his clothing, or elaborate the coffin and the flowers surrounding him--it just really didn't look, or more importantly, feel, like him. It was missing his animation, his breath. He was gone--there was no life, no light, no real sense of who he was, no spirit left in that empty husk.

And when I attended his funeral, I didn't really get any comfort from the sermon--those were just words and verses repeated, and music played for every one's funerals. They added in a few personal anecdotes, but the rest was pretty standard stuff. I stood there with my parents, feeling all alone, though I was surrounded by people--the church was full. I cried and I felt eyes watching me. I just wanted to be by myself, and I also wanted to be held--two totally opposite things, but that's how I felt, nonetheless.

In the days following, I sensed and heard other's expectations about how a grieving girlfriend should comport and handle herself. I believed that maybe I should no longer enjoy my own life; and I gave in to those--my--perceived expectations, and I let self-doubt, and unworthiness in being, permeate me entirely. I blamed myself for his death, believing that maybe if I hadn't taken him for granted, been a better person, then maybe he wouldn't have had to die. I immersed myself completely in experiencing what it was like to be a blind-to-who-I-really-am human journeying through a tragedy of losing someone I cared for to that scary thing called Death.

I've been immersed in it for over thirty years. It's about time I allowed myself full clarity and full expression on the subject...and so it is. Don't pity me my old story, because I chose to go through it in order to gain extensive wisdom on the subject--and I'm doing well, and so is the spirit/soul who played the part of my boyfriend. It's all good--truly it is.

Over-population and depletion of the Earth's natural and abundant resources, and beauty, are no longer issues when humans can consciously come and go in flowing and flexible bodily forms. We no longer have to rely on the old destructive atrocities like war, disease, famine, hunting or genocide as means of trying to control population growth of any entity or being, whether it be human, animal or plant. Survival of the fittest just becomes obsolete...there is benevolent room for all of us...

It's a brand new world, with a brand new way of playing together, even playing together harmoniously while in total freedom...

For starters, you just have to open up to the possibility that it's true...and then change what you practice...

P.S. The definition of INSANITY: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.

"I DESERVE to be treated with Loving Kindness": Releasing Oneself from Abuse

If I am continuing to experience abuse, it's because I am allowing it. Something, some ASPECT inside of me is yammering at me that I deserve the abuse, that I am UNWORTHY of grace and ease.


"No! Stop!"--Say it and mean it! No IFs or BUTs. 

"I deserve to be treated with kindness--with the kindness I so freely extend to you."

State the above like the owner and master of your own life--not like a whiny victim having a tantrum because she/he didn't get what she wanted the first, second or twentieth time. OLD ENERGY DIES HARD, and this I am an unworthy human aspect consciousness has been in place for millennia. If you can recognize and acknowledge this SELF-DOUBT FEELING inside of you, you'll feel more freedom of being and breathing--but you're going to open yourself up to drawing experiences to you where you get to PRACTICE over and over and over again setting this BOUNDARY of LOVE for yourself, and stating in such a manner that brooks no argument:

"I deserve to be treated with kindness. I deserve grace and ease."

It DOES NOT MATTER if I played a dark role in my past (even if my past is as recent as my previous breath), because I AM brand new with each and every breath, RIGHT NOW. I am, I exist ONLY in the present moment--and I DESERVE kindness. I can't tell you the number of times someone has told me that a person they were mad at (whether it was herself or another) didn't deserve to be acknowledged or praised for a kind act. That person was focused on living in the past, being UNFORGIVING, and not opening her heart or mind to starting over right now, with a fresh clean slate and breath.

Thanks to all the parts played out with love, and in service to me, I finally got clarity and gained insight into how to more consciously create the reality I desire to experience:

To the friend who provoked me to honest, messy, heart-racing expression of myself during our phone conversation.

To the sleeping-blind people who twisted religious ideas to match their prejudices, their self-righteous acts, and their choices to perpetuate fighting, and getting even, rather than to seek a win-win resolution.

To my itty-bitty naughty, peeing kitty--Bella.

To Adamus Saint-Germain, who reminded me to put no cause, person, or being before ME--no matter how uncomfortably selfish it feels to do that. 

And who helped me remember I am just passing through the realm of all these experiences, and that NO ONE is judging my performance--there is no higher or greater being that is judging me. The Source of All that Is does not judge any of us. No one is critiquing whether I'm doing it "right" or "wrong"--judgment is exercised only by blind humans who forgot who they are.

And to Lee Harris, whose channels reminded me that LOVE SETS BOUNDARIES.



I deserve loving kindness...

Close your eyes. Place your hand on your stomach, inhale a breath through your nose, drawing it so deeply into your belly that it pushes your hand up as your diaphragm inflates, and then exhale the breath out your mouth and feel your hand drop with the release of the air. Say, "I deserve loving kindness." Breathe again. Repeat, "I deserve kindness." Breathe again. Breathe and repeat the line until you FEEL the tightness within let loose.

I deliberately used the word "deserve" instead of "choose" in my statement above, because I realized that when I tested using the word "choose"--I felt a waffling hint of self-doubt, a questioning of my worthiness, creeping in with it. "Do I deserve this?"

When I use "deserve"--I feel firm and balanced in myself, and unwavering in my stated desire. I left no room for self-doubt. Self-doubt quickly distorts the best of intentions and creations.

A few months ago, Adamus shared with us the fact that the success rate of creating what we consciously want is usually about 18 percent. That left a lot of room for botched creations--I think three years of trying to deal with cat pee pretty much exemplifies that challenge to take responsibility and to keep making choices until I create what I actually want, in place of whining like a victim when it doesn't happen the way I expected the first, or fifty, time/s. The master, through trial and error, keeps immersing and HONESTLY feeling into her created experiences, and then adjusts making choices from the insights and wisdom gained from them. Wisdom is ALWAYS gained in every experience.

I also realized how important it is to set BOUNDARIES of LOVE. A loving parent generally won't allow her child to beat on her. A loving parent sets boundaries. If we give in to naughty tantrums, we just encourage more of them. It's as important to stand firmly in saying "No" as it is in saying "Yes".

From my cats (my version of kids), I discovered how important it is to FEEL that I DESERVE to be treated with the love and kindness and honor with which I so freely extend to them, and to pretty much everyone who enters my home or my life, in general. I listen with an open heart--I deserve to be listened to with open hearts.

All of this has more to do with standing up within myself, for myself, than anything or anyone outside of me. All those others outside of me are just playing out the roles and scenes I scripted them to play FOR me. Our programmed human minds and mass consciousness are dense with the concept that we humans are unworthy beings "born in sin." That we must prove ourselves worthy of being through our good deeds. I can't seem to turn any direction without self doubt berating me, questioning whether or not I'm being selfish and wrong. It's paralyzing. That unworthy sinner aspect within myself kept me allowing others to abuse me.

The religious "born in sin" idea gets used as an excuse to treat ourselves and others abusively. I don't excuse someone for being mean just because he's drunk too much alcohol--he wanted to be abusive, and simply used being drunk as an excuse to play that role. Likewise, I don't excuse someone who abuses another because "they were born sinners and can't be held responsible for harming themselves or others." Running from accepting full self-responsibility for ALL of one's life experiences just keeps the sexual energy virus in play. The victim abuses as much as the initial abuser if I continue to play victim--after awhile, you can no longer discern one from the other.

Calling something a disease or an addiction--whether it be obesity, alcoholism, sexual abuse, drug abuse, etc.--seems to give humans the excuse to perpetuate their own miserable treatment of themselves and others, and their expected mistreatment by others. Calling something a disease seems to give humans an excuse to not accept full responsibility for her own gift of a life. It seems to perpetuate the "I am a poor victim--that's just how it is" consciousness. And that story never ends. People play with fighting the so-called disease instead of addressing the core energy of it all which is, "Do I even like myself enough to allow myself to receive joyful abundance in life with ease and grace?--Do I deserve to live?"

How do I respect and honor another being's sovereignty and freedom, and my own simultaneously? I discovered I do that by setting boundaries around the treatment of myself. If two cannot agree to play together with mutual respect and kindness--then, in the interest of living harmoniously on the same planet, we should leave each other's presence, go our separate ways--no harm, no foul, no trying to control or manipulate or have power over the other.

I'm not sure what all I've written here. I think the most important point though, is the realization that I deserve to be treated with kindness--and to expect that, always. I'm a huge proponent of using "I choose" statements, but in this case, I felt myself waffling within, so I chose another approach this time around.

Try it out. Close your eyes and say out loud, "I choose to be treated with kindness." Do you feel a bit of wavering, I'm-not-worthy, self-doubt creep in, too? I heard, and felt, my mind yammering at me, "BUT there were these times when you did these bad things, Penny...I was so wrong...so I can choose all I want, but I might not get it because I don't deserve it, blah, blah, blah..."

Now try the same thing using "I deserve" instead. "I deserve to be treated with kindness." State it as a FACT--don't question or doubt your worthiness of receiving simple straightforward kindness. It feels firm and master-y to me. I feel myself setting loving boundaries when I say "I deserve" without using the whiny victim tone. And most importantly--it feels both freeing and respectful...and that's the way I like to play this game we call Life.

Namaste!

How Long Do I Choose to Play "Victim"?--That Is the Question

If I'm the victim in any abusive relationship--I am EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE for the creation, and the cultivation of that relationship abuse that I suffer. I, the victim, am as much responsible for the abuse as my abuser is. 

Once I quit playing the victim role, the abuser has no one left to victimize. The energy-feeding situation/story dissolves when it's no longer fed.

It doesn't matter if the abuse occurs in a partner/spouse relationship, a parent/child relationship, a sibling relationship, a government/constituent relationship, a business relationship, or a friendship.

Whining, commiserating with others (aka, pity parties), complaining--none of that stops the dynamics of an abusive situation. If I'm continuing to whine, I like the nasty little relationship I have going--when you look closely at me, you can actually read my delight in it, even if I'm spewing tears and snot, and carrying on like a drama queen.

My best way of dealing with a victimhood situation is to first put myself in a TIME-OUT. Just like we adults do when two little kids are fighting. We SEPARATE them--send them to different rooms to cool down and get quiet, get centered and balanced within themselves. We don't negotiate with he said/she saids.



And then I've found that using "I" statements in place of "You did/ You should" statements changes the entire dynamics of an argument or discussion. 


When I focus on making "I like" or "I feel" or "I did" or "I choose" sentences--it keeps me embracing full responsibility for my part in the relationship--I'm acting like the sovereign that I am, instead of a victim blaming someone else for making me miserable.

In the past, I have screwed up my own healthier relationships by commiserating with victims who CHOSE NOT to TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY for their own well-being and lives.

I have watched marriages and partnerships fall apart because of women commiserating with other women about the abusive men in their relationships, or vice versa. They don't do anything to cultivate loving and clear communication between the partners, to encourage a healthy friendship with the spouse. Instead, they feed each others hatred and angst and victimhood. They keep score, and they play dumb-ass mind games, hiding behind some god out there that is a cruel and mean and judgmental son of a B. All in the name of a really screwed up idea of "friendship"--an energy suckfest.

Why not encourage a friend to say to her partner in one of the few moments they're in the same room and quiet, "I don't like what we've become. I married you because I liked you--you were my best friend. I don't like being treated so terribly--by anyone. I don't like treating you badly either. I don't deserve that, and neither do you. What do you want to do with us? Should we separate, and take a time-out so we can get clear about what's happening with oneself before messing with another person? I don't like fighting. If we can't be best friend sovereigns together, then let's not live together anymore. We both deserve, and are capable of, more than that. Let's take the pressure off our kids, and not make them responsible for our staying true to vows for the so-called 'benefit' of our kids. It's not been a benefit to them when they get put in the middle of our fighting and game-playing and misery."

I've had a few of those conversations, like the latter, with my own husband (minus the kids, because we didn't have children). Not that he was any more abusive to me than I was to him. I gave tit for tat, too--but I also remembered that I really liked him, and that I knew deep-down we could have and be so much more than the old relationshit story we had going on the surface. Honestly, I damn-near ruined our good thing because of trying to empathize with other friends, trying to fully understand their pain.

Sharing another's misery (co-mmiseration) solves nothing--it's why I'm not a fan of support groups. People talking about their issues with people having the same issues just builds, and densifies, their stories. People can drone on and on for hours about their pains, and not open up to, much less, bring in an ounce of personal clarity. We're better taking ourselves off to be alone with oneself, and work through the emotions and releasing all on our own. I can cry and hold better, and more fully understand myself than anyone outside of me. I've lost any tolerance or patience to listen other's sob stories anymore, because I'm certain we're capable of being so much more.

Religion--any of it--is fine when it comforts and creates a safe, sacred space, and honors sovereignty--but it gets scary quickly when it gets twisted and used as a means to not face personal responsibility for one's own life, and as a way to force one's will upon another being. So many of my mentally imbalanced friends are into practicing this type of warped Christianity. You can warp any type of religion--it's just that the people I personally know are calling themselves Christians.

It's no wonder to me, then, when everything gets blown out of proportion, and loving relationships--many which began as friendships--get blown all to literal hell. It's pretty sad.

I'm not comfortable with confrontation either. Especially lately, in my self-mastery, I'm discovering what it means to have the cahunas/balls to allow myself to express my viewpoint honestly. I've lately found myself in arguments that came out of the blue. I often don't remember much of what I said, and I look back at the interlude, asking myself, "What the hell happened here?" I even felt a bit guilty because I got a bit loud, a bit passionate. It really rattled me. I've had some sleepless nights because of it. But what was happening was I was watching an old aspect of myself playing itself out once again--taunting me to do something about it--and I finally let myself freely express about what I was honestly experiencing.

In the past, I played the victim role of being the one who let everyone dump his/her beliefs and judgments all over our interactions. My abuser didn't leave any room or opportunity for me to have a different viewpoint from his/her own. My own old way of handling it was, to shut up and put up--that's just how it is. Sound familiar? I'd walk away feeling resentful and unheard, but trying to put a positive spin on it all by trying to focus on the enjoyable parts of our conversation. But, evidently, that old ship has sailed--I am free, and I have things I'm passionate about expressing and experiencing differently.

I used to convince myself that if I spoke up, that meant I was trying to change the other person, and I knew that was futile. But by allowing myself to freely speak, I realized it had nothing to do with trying to change the other person. It was simply about ALLOWING MYSELF to FREELY EXPRESS. No one else is going to allow me to do that if I'm not FIRST allowing it myself. The other person is simply a reflection of me suppressing myself. When I allowed myself my own unique expression, I discovered I honestly didn't care if the other person changed or not.

It was all about ME allowing myself to finally freely express myself, my own truths and desires, out loud.

Humans emulate the god that he/she worships in the moment. If god, for me, is a judgmental, angry, punishing fellow--that's actually what I am. I, too, am judging, even when I insert the word "observing" in its place. We like to self-righteously play god with each other and meddle, but in an oxymoronic way, we don't like admitting that we each are all gods playing with other gods.

I love the salutation, "Namaste!" It means The god I am honors the god you are. It recognizes that we are all children of the First Source of all that is. It means, to me, that I honor and respect your sovereignty, and I appreciate you honoring my sovereignty. I am open to interacting with you harmoniously. Namaste brings a smile to my lips--it reminds me of what a gift I am, and that you are, to me.

When I was a kid, I played with other kids simply because I liked them and I enjoyed their company. I didn't care about race, ethnicity, religion, status, politics, gender, sexual orientation. I learned that prejudice crap from the mentally programmed people and the mass consciousness around me. I immersed myself in making some of that shit my own truth--and it felt icky. I felt awful being prejudiced. It didn't matter who it was against at the time. I felt really guilty inside, even when the Little Human-like judgmental god I was worshipping at the time, tried to convince me that I was righteous in my prejudice.

I chose the man I'm with today because I like him, and we have fun together when we're not playing sucky little mind-games with each other, expecting the other person to change or to do our bidding, or try to make us happy and feel unconditionally loved.  That's my responsibility with myself first. As I have said before, it's absolutely impossible to love someone else enough to satisfy them, if they aren't appreciating themselves, their own gift of a life, first. That's a miserable dynamic to be in.

At first, little kids don't care about meddling, trying to control, or trying to fix other little kids--they pick that up from trying to emulate the older programmed humans around them. Kids look at other children in their vicinity with the hope that the other one may be someone fun to play with. If they come across someone they hit it off with, they play together until they get tired and cranky; at which point, they go to their separate rooms or homes, and rest, eat, and rejuvenate. They have a bit of alone-with-oneself time. Once they're centered and balanced within themselves again, they're racing out into the sunshine to play with those other kids once again.

We can learn a lot from a little kid. Fortunately, I have one integrated right here inside of me. I'm learning she has a lot of wisdom to share on how to flow simple joyous abundance--how to live with ease and grace in place of a bunch of calamity.