Napping while Awakening

"Pen, will you go wake Dad up? Dinner's ready."

Here in the upper Midwest, "dinner" is the meal we eat at noon. Dad often returned to the house in the late morning and would lie down for a nap while Mom fixed the meal. I always felt a sort of gentle reverence while waking him up from those naps. He was always on his back, in his socks, one goose-down pillow under his head, and the other draped over his eyes. All you could see were his nostrils and the rest of his lower face. He was so still and so quiet. I don't remember ever hearing him snore and could hardly hear him breathe. I'd touch him lightly on the arm or hands, and using my soft voice, I'd call him to consciousness, "Dad--dinner's ready." He'd murmur, "Yep." Then in a matter of a few seconds, his eyes would be open and up he'd get. I don't ever remember having to call him more than once.

Sometimes he napped after dinner instead, and would awaken a bit before 2:00 pm. Mom and I would be sitting in the living room, visiting, and I'd watch him walking down the hallway towards us, stopping to pull on each cowboy boot, adjusting his jeans leg over and down each boot. He'd gather his wild hair in one hand, smoothing it under, while placing his cap on top with the other. He'd be blinking his eyes, trying to focus and get more firmly settled in his body--all the while grinning a bit sheepishly while asking us if we were ready to go for coffee.

It's one of my most treasured memories.

Mom took short naps--about 15-20 minutes every afternoon. When I was little, she used to read me books, as a bribe to get me to take a nap afterwards, in order to get in a short, rejuvenating nap of her own.

While their napping styles were vastly different, they still had in common the fact that they took some SAFE and SACRED time ALONE each day to rest and rejuvenate themselves. They wouldn't have realized that was what they were doing. They were just taking a rest because they felt better afterwards. Neither one was someone you'd consider sickly. And though they died at ages 70 and 74, they'd lived full lives, and I feel like they left because they were ready to, regardless of how their deaths transpired.

Dad and Mom were pretty awakened individuals for the era in which they lived. They had a broader perspective on some things than some of their contemporaries--they were very compassionate and empathetic and unconditionally accepting in a lot of ways at that time. They were there to help out in a pinch, but they honored people living their own lives according to their free choice. Giving out advice or their opinion, when it wasn't solicited in the first place, wasn't their way, for the most part. Yes, Dad could be passionately outspoken about his interests, yet he wasn't one to force his ideas on a person. At least, that's the way I knew him. My older brothers and sister could probably have experienced him differently. I'm one of the youngest kids who benefited from my parents working out parenting issues on all my older siblings first.

Going beyond the old mindset and beliefs and perceptions is A LOT OF WORK, on levels people outside of you can't see, much less measure or compare. You have to be willing to accept that others are going to judge you and reject you--and you have to learn to not let it matter to you. You have to find ways to help yourself step back off the stage so you can just observe from the audience for a bit. The old dramas and traumas of the old consciousness game are SO SEDUCTIVE, you find yourself drawn into playing them just because it's habit, it's automatic, it's what you've known, and how you've played the game for so long.

From having pushed myself out of the old comfort zone to explore beyond the long-established belief systems in the mass consciousness of my own world and time, I know from experience the importance of ALLOWING ONESELF to REST, REJUVENATE and RE-BALANCE naturally.

Napping has been my saving grace through this entire transition.

It used to take me 2-3days of 2-hour minimum naps in the afternoon to recover from the exhaustion and body aches I'd experience after returning from visits to my old hometown. I often enjoyed myself during those visits, too. It was just that in returning home, all those old stories, old identity roles and belief systems originally planted in my childhood suddenly popped into beingness out of default habit. The old pressures of expectations I had of myself in the old days would swoop in for a last hurrah. It would be such a bombardment of energies--letting go of the old while practicing the new--that in feeling back to what it was like, it was like I was running on an adrenaline high all the while I was in my past stomping grounds. And then I'd return to my present home--a much more safe and sacred space--and I'd let the burdens drop at the door like my suitcase. I'd leave my body and mind for a bit, and nap.

It's good to disconnect from one's family and friends for a bit in order to get clear within oneself without being emotionally triggered and energetically burdened by old stories. My family is a bit unique in that we generally don't seek to get over-involved in our siblings' lives--we don't tell one another what we think the other should be doing. It's not that we don't care, it's more of an honoring one another in living their own life how they choose. Like the way Mom and Dad were with us. But with that said, delving into one's past is still lots of work, regardless of what your past was like.

I sleep differently when napping than when I do so at night. I'm on my back, like my dad, and I've learned not to cross my ankles or lace my fingers (it restricts blood circulation in those areas)--because I don't move. I evidently often leave my body while it re-balances and rejuvenates itself, because I'll lie there in one place, somewhere between asleep and awake, unable to move my limbs or open my eyes, I'm barely breathing. Right before awakening, I'll feel myself suddenly inhale a deep breath--like I'm sucking my spirit back into my body. It's a noticeable difference to my breathing state the rest of the time--and suddenly, I'm back in my body, able to move. My eyes might be glazed over for a bit, too, like Dad's were, until I've been up moving around awhile. And I always make a trip to the bathroom first thing. I also seem to snack on something to help ground myself a bit more firmly. How rested I feel depends on what's going on in my life.

When Steve Rother, of Lightworker.com, channels The Group, his wife, Barbara, helps him return back to his body at the end by kissing him on the top of his head. Staying in these weighted and dense, pain-feeling bodies--though I've heard having a body is one of the most sensual and highly sought-after experiences any being can have--can be challenging after having a bit of freedom from them. Though I don't channel the way Steve Rother does, I'm aware that I'm still doing a great deal of work in other dimensions when I appear to be napping here. In the old days, Edgar Cayce, and other unconscious channels like him, had someone who monitored his physical body while he was channeling. Not moving for long periods of time, and not being present in the body, takes a toll on a person's overall health.

My husband doesn't kiss me awake. He might tap me or lean over me in the night once in awhile, trying figure out if I'm breathing and still alive--ha! Nope, the service of helping me re-embody is kindly assumed by my cats--and they do an amazing job of it! Max used to lie stretched out on top of the length of my legs whenever I was down for a nap, and now Bella has taken his place. She lies on my shins or drapes her paws over my legs, touching me. Their warmth and loving touch gives me a reason to come back to my body--it grounds my energies after being away on my inter dimensional travels and helps me smile.

I wish I could say I was a ray of sunshine when I wake up, but I'm usually not. The mass consciousness energies in this earthly realm are not happy and smoothly-flowing, so they aren't easy to re-enter. And when I'm in dream-state between being almost here, but not yet fully in my body, my human mind tends to translate all that frustration and anger and human blindness of mass consciousness into feeling like it's all my own stuff--but it isn't. When you're awakening, you're naturally extra-sensitive to energies, regardless of whether they're yours or someone else's.

As for dreams and their meanings for me: I look back into how I was feeling in them and the thoughts I had as I observed and took part in the scenes. They are usually keys as to how I've been UN-consciously acting and reacting while seeming to be conscious in this reality landscape.

Humans have a tendency to not be present in their bodies--even when they're supposedly awake--because they haven't taken ownership of their lives. This is where dis-ease and the sexual energy virus in consciousness filters in. People challenged with obesity and cancer, take note. The more present you are in that body, the more you UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE and EMBRACE ALL of you, the quicker the disease symptoms will depart from your reality. The more present you are, the more balanced and harmonically-functioning your body is. When in pain, we have a tendency to leave them--which is fine to a point, but at some place along the way, if we want to stay living on the planet we have to re-enter, re-embody. Breathe yourself back in--allow your divinity/your soul to come into you, to make your bodies HOME/HEAVEN wherever you are.

I waffled for many years over whether I wanted to be alive here on earth anymore. Several times, I reminded myself I made the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay. And the more I practiced breathing myself through painful situations by staying put in my body, instead of leaving it for some other person to take care of for me, the more excited I became about sticking around for the experience of the whole transformation process into the new consciousness energy and a new physical body. A new physical body that more fittingly matches who I really am, rather than a karmic and ancestral conglomeration of biology. To have the opportunity to experience such a transformation without going through the old physical death process is exciting stuff to me.

In a nutshell--don't be afraid to rest. It's SO NOT BEING LAZY! This is an amazing and historic time to be here in a body on Earth. Plus, I've discovered so much about myself from my dreams. We're all capable of extra-ordinary things--things I once used to think of as miracles and abilities only really gifted and talented, extra-sensitive, and special individuals could do. 

The funny thing with all of this, though, is that I've realized we have ALL been doing these things all along--we just weren't aware of it, and so we haven't been sharing our experiences in these realms with one another. For a long time, I didn't have the words or the confidence in myself, and humans didn't even have the vocabulary, to explain these things to another. We've been stuck in the dramas of Little Human Puppet/Sinner Roles.

Don't be afraid to explore yourself and share these discoveries with others--it makes it easier and more fun for everyone. Being outside that box of old beliefs about oneself is an amazing and awesome experience. I smile more...once I'm awake and fully-embodied, that is.

Related Posts:
Physical Symptoms of My Awakening Self-Awareness, Part 1