Why Self-Awareness Should Take the Place of Comparison and Conformity

I recently went on a dreamwalk to a moment when I was eight years old. Adamus said we'd be surprised at the event that we found ourselves revisiting--it wasn't probably going to be the big one we expected. As always the case with any dreamwalk, we weren't to interfere with anything--not even to hug our eight-year-old self--we were there simply to observe, feel into it, and be a radiant presence.

I was a second-grader, who after having wandered back into the building at recess, was being lightly admonished by my teacher (whom I adored) for coming inside the school on my own during recess. I felt SO WRONG! So guilty! So ashamed! So stupid! 

And the only one accusing me of those things was--me!

Seems rather silly, doesn't it? My teacher couldn't have possibly known all that was going on inside of me. Here's the rest of the story:

I never attended a kindergarten. I just visited our little country school, Lone Tree School, a few times in order to see what it was all about. I remember being so excited about going to school so I could learn to read. Mom used to read me a story before every nap--one of my favorite things. When we went to town for groceries, I chose to spend my allotted twenty-five cents in the Rexall Drugstore on a comic book instead of candy.

I attended the little one-room school for first grade, and then it was closed. I went from being the only child in my grade to a classroom of at least twenty kids of like age. I still remember those anxious bees in my stomach my first days in "town school." Shy little kid that I was, I still wanted to fit in and play with the others with ease--but as we all know, that's not an easy thing to accomplish with such a diverse group of humans. Several of my classmates had already been together for at least two years, and some even more, if their families were neighbors and friends. It felt overwhelming.

Kids are highly sensitive creatures--I don't care how seemingly shallow the role each of us plays to the world outside.

Then add the testing (proving worth and accomplishment), the grading (subjective judgments), the inevitable comparisons and competitions, and the Weekly Reader guilt trips about all of us humans polluting the Earth--it turned into a dog-eat-dog world.

For the record--playing flashcards is a fine game for those that want to play, but if someone in a class full of kids is struggling to learn the subject matter, being beaten continuously by peers who are quicker studies may, or may not, be helpful in him/her learning the material. I honestly don't know if flashcards are even utilized that way anymore--it's just what was practiced when I was eight (1972).

When speaking about the consciousness of humanity and its common practices, one must always compassionately include context--time and place. We all are doing the best we know how, I don't care how it looks. Most of us have just spent more time unconsciously REACTING  TO our circumstances, and INTERNALLY trying to DEFEND our beingness.

Environmentalists--if you really want to change humanity's awareness and cultivate a more benevolent relationship with our beloved planet, I'd quit using blame, guilt and fear. Those tactics cause the human ego armor to flash to the forefront to protect its human at all costs. You nurtured a fight--a war.

There are ways to increase human awareness that don't involve force. Maybe the old villain wasn't aware that they were causing harm. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt, for starters.

And maybe some villains are aware of causing harm and are just GREEDY. Nasty word, isn't it? But when I look at the core energy underlying all that greediness, I simply see a scared, separate and all-alone feeling human trying to survive because they believe this is a dog-eat-or-be-eaten world.

Maybe the old villains can have a change of heart--just like the old villains in myself did--and will voluntarily change their ways without someone having to defeat them. If you have solutions, share them without making accusations. You might be surprised at the results.

Love of our planet should not be based in finger-pointing, guilt and fear while supposedly educating the population about the magnificence of it. Our Earth is a gift to each and all of us, and so is every life playing upon it and within it. I'd rather we encouraged nurturing an individual's consciously aware relationship of love and gratitude with it, and with each other. As sovereigns of our own lives, there is nothing and no one we need to conquer or try to control--especially not in the name of preserving or flowing abundance of ALL KINDS.

In country school, we could stay in or go out for recess--there were only six or seven of us total, so the teacher didn't have to worry about trying to keep track of all of us. I hadn't gone inside to make trouble. I was probably just cold. My confusion about the rules was understandable. The crux of the whole matter though, was, from then on, I resolved to know the rules ahead of time and to follow them, and be perfect--so I would never have to feel so ashamed and stupid again.

Well, we all know how that turned out...

BECOMING MORE SELF-AWARE has healed and resolved more perceived issues in my life than measuring myself by (or comparing myself to) others, conforming myself to "fit in," competing for attention, apologizing for being, unquestioningly following rules--AKA, trying to be the perfect human--ever did. 

It's amazing what can be discovered with some conscious breaths and a bit of FEELING INTO oneself...